Relapse and Withdrawal

[Firefaery1023]

So for those and you that have followed my story, you know that I went through withdrawals a month ago from a habit of 20- 10/650 Vicodin a day.  Well I stayed clean for 2 weeks and then found out that I have an infected tooth which needs a root canal (it's getting taken care of tomorrow morning).  So I am a big wimp and started using vicodin to ease the pain.  That was fine at first because I was only using it as directed.  Then I started to abuse again.  (I guess I wasn't clean long enough to be strong enough to "use as directed") Well yesterday morning at 5 am I had the last of the vicodin that I had and within 12 hours was in full blown withdrawals.  Like how I felt on days 2 and 3.  I even ending up going to the ER last night because I was shaking so bad, they had to give my 1 ativan and 2 valium for me to stop shaking. (Don't worry they didn't send me home with any).  I am feeling better this afternoon.  My question is, is it typical that after a relapse for the withdrawals to set in faster (and worse)? And not to last as long?

[feohmoon]

So sorry you are feeling rough honey.  It is a journey but we are all walking with you.  
Hope your dentist appt.goes well...we are thinking of you.
Peace

[Firefaery1023]

Thanks everyone for the input and support.  I know I can do this and I am getting my tooth pulled in a couple of hours so I have no more excuses to take the pain medications.  Thanks again.

[worried878]

Hopefully this will be the last time...I am six weeks clean and they want me to have a hysterectomy...I am not right now...I am just not ready for it...teeth probs, we can not help...u just need to get back on track...you will...u have done this before so u know u can do it again

[CR_ST_NA]

oh yea, the withdrawls were so much worse for me when i relapsed. the same shaking, like convulsing, it was hell. i didn't go to the er though, i just suffered through it. maybe i should have. i have relapsed three times in six years and everytime was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo much worse. if you want to never go through those horrible w/ds you have to just stay away from the pills. you can do. just think of the last time and how you felt. our bodies were not designed to be addicted to anything. god gave us built in endorphins and it takes a while for them to come back, but everytime we relapse it takes longer and longer. i can so relate. hey, good luck and god bless. write me if you need to talk.... christina

[Firefaery1023]

Thank you so mcuh for the advice.  I really appreciate it.  I know that know one means anything harsh.  I wanted to be honest and get honest advice.  I know what I did was wrong but I can't change my mistake, I just need to learn from it.  Thank you again.

[cathy5841]

fire, sweetie i am so sorry you have to go through this again.  i really think you set yourself up for ailure when you did not give those pills to someone else.  we are addicts, if we could handle taking pills respaonsibly we would not be addicts.  the sad part is we are always going to be addicts.  we have to look at this as a disease in remission and at any given time can come out of remission and be full blown addicts again.  oif you had cancer you would take every necessary precaution known to you to keep it in remission, but we dont approach our addictions with the same tenacity.  if and when the time comes for you to have a c-section or other surgery...protect yourself.  give those pills to someone else...set your self a goal to use less than prescibed...take every precaution you can.  and above all else learn from this experience.  hope you know isaid all this because i care about you and want to see you succeed
love ya
cathy

[Firefaery1023]

Thanks for the input.  I don't know where there is an NA because I live in a really small town but I have a lot of friends and family that I admitted my problem to, who are willing to help me get clean.  I know I am a big wimp when it comes to pain too, especially tooth pain.  I reccomend that you go see a denist as soon as possible because the pain doesn't usually just go away on its own in your mouth.  Thanks you for the input on relapsing.  I just want to beat myself up over this, but I know that it is part of the process of getting clean.  I just need to take this as a lesson and move forward.

[corey411]

Hi, Ive had alot of wd from Vics not always from wanting to quit but no access to pills. It seems that they go that way..over faster. Funny how you can get readdicted again so easy. I'm relating to your story. I'm on day 5 and my tooth started hurting really bad lastnight and still does but it's eased up some. I'm hoping my sensitivity to pain is screwed up and it will just go away....I don't think it's gonna though. Hope I can handle the pain. I'm a big baby. Stay on track and don't get caught up in this. Just try to understand you may never be able to handle a bottle of pills. My son was addicted to heroin and has 3 yrs. clean next week. He went to NA and the nice thing about that is you have a sponcer who can come and help you take as needed

[Firefaery1023]

Thanks for the encouragement.  I know that I am an addict and that I screwed up.  I didn't know what to do because I had to wait so long to get my tooth taken care of.  I just need to pick myself up and start all over again.  I don't feel that bad right now, I know that I can do this I just need to stick to it and that scared the s**t out of me.  I am so afraid of relapsing again.  Especially since I know that I need neck surgery sometime and if I decide to have another baby I need to have a C-section.  I just only time will tell and if I ever need to the pain medication again, I should have someone else hold onto it for me.

[newmanagment]

im not sure bout that, but did ya forget you were an addict? you are not gonna be able to keep pills in your possesion, at least not for a long time, without abusing them! i dont mean to be harsh, but it is easy to say, i need these for pain, i can do it...and fail.
use this as a reminder that you are not in control of your addcition, it is in control of you. but you will get thru this again, im sure of that , you fought so hard once , i know ya can do it again. toughen up and stay focused...