20 days methadone free and feeling better than ever!

[haley726]

this has been the hardest and most rewarding 20 days of possibly my life. I am trying to deal with the anxiety and depression, but thanks to many of you, I have not only made it through, but am re-learning how to give the things that I have no control over and the things that have contol over me to God. I'm just letting go and giving it ALL back to God... He does a much better job than I do. I have a long way to go, but right now I am smiling on the inside and out. Thanks to you all and God bless you as He has me.

[t_nuh_had_nuf]

YEAH! haley is Doin IT! you are strong-sometimes others see things in us that we don't see in ourselves. Sorry to hear about your grandfather-he would want you to stay strong too-right?
you should be very proud of yourself- I am.     Done any dancin lately?  Take care - TEENA

[haley726]

I think I am feeling so well because this has renewed my relationship with God. I am still fighting with anxiety and depression so I try to stay busy. And I feel like I have the 20 day flu. I certainly don't want to give anyone false hope about getting through this w/d, but I think God just put it on my heart to show me how strong I can be, especially since I have been going through this on top of finding out about the news that my grandfather has cancer 3 weeks ago. I was put back on prozac and klonopin for OCD and panic attacks, so maybe that is "cheating", but I take them as prescrbed so I hope it's not... I don't know. I was on them before this though. So with the help of the klonopin and some melatonin I get about 3 or 4 hours sleep a night, which from what I read is a God send. I know there are tough times ahead (im not going to lie to myself) but with the help of God and the people I have met along the way I feel strong and proud, so all I can say is today is a great day.

[gnarly_1]

HI Haley........WOW your doing great.....methadone as a rule is usually a monster to kick anyone feeling good at 20 days is beating the protocol ....stay strong in your faith God can do amazing things if you truly believe your living proof im so happy for you and hope your recovery contuses to go well.....keep in mind this stuff can be very cyclic so if you get hit with a few bad days here and there thats kinda the norm....just dont let it surprise you....but dont let me throw a wrench in a quick recovery......I swear I learn something new about this drug monthly hang in there keep posting on your progress....btw are you sleeping yet??
anyway God got me threw it im sure he will do the same for you just have faith......Gnarly  

[sudie58]

you deserve to feel good, well done on your 20 days!!  you may have a long way to go, but your going in the right direction, god bless.

[haley726]

I think about taking more methadone to ease the pain (mostly emotional now) but then I remember  it has been so long since I felt anything that this pain just might be the best feeling in the world... I'm still so far from being "over" this because at this point I still fight cravings, but I do ever want to go back where I was again. I might be fighting with myself on the inside, but I feel FREE!!! Do you know what I mean? And feeling free has never felt so good.

[zeke1982]

Very nice, congratulations to you. I am on day 5 of suboxone detox now and already thought of shooting heroin is creeping into my mind. Reading your post just made me realize that I can break free of this vicious cycle, stay clean!

[haley726]

and for anyone who doubts they can make it through, hopefully my small success can encourage you. I didn't see myself as a strong-minded person, but now I am taking a closer look at myself and seeing how strong someone can really be if they put their mind to it and give what is out of our control to God. Good luck to anyone just starting out and just know you can do this...