HELP ME PLEASE

[WhatToDo_Help]

I need alot of help right now, and don't know what to do?? I have 5 kids and I am married. I have been on percocet for 2 years now. I take 30 to 35 a day. I HAVE TO GET OFF NOW!! My husband and kids DO NOT KNOW that I am on these. But my husband and I are fighting ALL the time over money. As you may know why!! I run out of the pills and then I am buying them. I spend close to $2200.00 a month on them. YES that's alot of money. We have no money left and are going in debt. We are loosing everything:( PLEASE someone help me. I don't know what to do anymore. It is so hard because I have no one to talk to about this, because nobody knows that I'm on them. I feel like I want to die!! But my family needs me. I have tried many times. But on the first night, I go CRAZY. I can't sleep at all. I have a tingley feeling going through my body, and I toss and turn all night long. My husband even goes nuts asking me what the hell am I doing and what's wrong. Because I can't stop moving, while I try to go to sleep. That feeling in my body that makes my legs shake and my toes move and even my hands feel funny. That's the **** I can't take. I have a job and need to get up in the morning. I NEED MY SLEEP!! So then I start taking them all over again. I need HELP....PLEASE. I have nobody to help support me in this time. I have to do this without my family knowing. I CAN NOT TELL MY HUSBAND!! So anyone who may have any ideas, PLEASE let me know. I think I can get through the day without them, but NOT at night, when I really need to. Is there anything that can help that feeling go away, so I can SLEEP????

Thanks

[RANDO88]

I agree with Kevin. Suboxone is the way to go.

[djhowe]

Listen to me very carefully...

What you're doing is called "bargaining" with your addiction. As a guy who was on pain meds for 4 years and paid $12,500+ for rehab, I feel confident in my opinion. By hiding this situation from your family, you are facing it alone and thus isolating yourself. At the end of the day, what you're doing is lying. You're lying to your family by putting on one face and really being another, and you're lying to yourself if you think you don't need treatment. Your active addiction is what is causing the thoughts that tell you that no one would understand. You talk about the money you've lost to this addiction, but you didn't mention the dignity and self-respect it has (and will continue to) cost you.

There is absolutely NO SHAME in reaching out to those around you. Suboxone is addicting. It's another crutch in the way of your sobriety. Just like with seeking drugs, if you want sobriety bad enough, I'm sure you'll find a way to get it.

How bad do you want this? If getting sober is a bad thing to your husband, do it anyway. You HAVE to take care of yourself first. This addiction doesn't care about you. As with a every false-god -which is exactly what this beast is- you will continue to give and give and give and never get anything in return except for devastation and heartache. Give a little more credit to those around you. People are more comapssionate, understanding, and caring than what your active addiction will ever understand or allow your sick mind to believe.

Tell someone, and then fight your way into treatment. Do it at all costs.

If not now, then when? If not you, then who? Nobody, not even you, did this to you. It's an all-consuming, compulsive cycle that you find yourself in. Active addiction was the darkest place in my life. It took me places I never wanted to go, and it kept me longer than I ever wanted to stay. I know this is how you feel, and because nobody did this to you, while seeking sobriety, nobody can do this for you...nobody but you, my dear.

My words may sound harsh, but they come from a place of deep concern and complete understanding of your value as a person...and also from the deep heart of a man who hates addiction and wants to see another great soul pick itself up and slap the absurd face of nothingness. Please find a way to love yourself.

[Florida_Guy737]

Hi What....the taper is probably a good way to go.  I was also on percs and successfully tapered after 3.5 weeks.  Worked through the whole time as well.   The Thomas recipe and the Amino Acid Protocol contained within the Health Pages of this site contain some excellent guidance.

Just my thought but I would not take the sub route...why? Because sub is expensive and addicting as well....you need to get your finances back in order and probably tell your hub as well...I know if my wife came clean about something like this, I would do anything to help her succeed in her recovery.

Good Luck,

Guy

[WhatToDo_Help]

How long have you been going through w/d? And trying to get off?? I take 7 pills....3 to 4 times a day. That is like 21 to 28 pills in a day.....and sometimes more!!! But starting tomorrow.....I am going to try taking only 15 for the whole day. I will take 5 pills 3 times through the day. I hope that will help. Then I will keep going down on the number of them. So I will be on here today......needing some more support. I know you all will be there for me. And I believe that will also help me. So I will keep you all posted!!! As for you stilltrying......I am so happy for you:) I hope you get through this.We can do this together.....and with others just like us. This site was the best thing for me. I am so happy that I'm on here. Well good night all......we will chat later today. Thanks again to all of you who are posting and giving me your support. I know it will help!!! xoxoxoxo

[stilltrying1965]

Im in w/ds just now and finding it hatd to concentrate or type for too longbut i seen your post and felt i had to try and help first it is not going to be easy but you can do it you will lose some sleep and the feelings in your legs are called restless leg syndrome which some people are unfortunate to get it in their arms and hands my wife does and its one of the main reasons people find it hard to stop but it can be done try get some valium to help with the sleep and tonic water for the rls i know you can do this you are ready and not alone this place will help you come through it like it has helped me good luck and keep posting

[Ella789]

That is 4 pills a day........  listen, you have to buckup on this, I know that to tapper is a tough one for you but alot of the mental has to do with willpower.  You can make it thru with only four pills a day... it is doable.  Take the last two at night... you can sleep with two...  I know you can...
Some on here are just no good at tappering,  and I know you are taking way,way too many during the day,  so if the other plan does not work out for you then perhaps you should just get it done when you are out of the pills, whenever that is.  
  My Dr. would just be all over me for taking more than 6, yes, SIX,  7.5mg lortab a day!!!  My husband thought it was awful too!   I read so much on here from people taking 6 times the amt. per day that I was on.  It scares me for their liver, yes liver!!  Please, get the help you need for this and ask for an antidepressant too.  I was very depressed but I have had a prob. with that for many years.  
You will be amazed at how your pain levels will go down after you detox,  I am a chronic pain sufferor my self  with SLE,fibro,raynaurds, and I am taking Cymbalta x 2 day, and remeron at bedtime, along with 1800 mg neurotin a day.  Sounds like alot but not really.  I will do abt.anything to not be addicted to opiates again,  it brought me pain relief but caused me so much sorrow too.  At least now I am clean and dealing with the pain in other ways.    I hope and wish the best for you.  P.M. me any time.

Ella