Medically induced addiction? Thats what I believe......

[honu11]

Hi everybody, I am new to this site but I wanted to share that I have been going through complete hell and torture for the last 4 months because I realized that I was addicted to Vicodin.  I had a neck and shoulder injury 2 years ago and I have been on Vicodin 6-9 tablets a day 5/500 for the last year and a half.  I have never done drugs and I do not drink so I thought it was no big deal because the doctors prescribed it for me right?  Wrong. I found out I was addicted because one day I finally stopped taking them because the pain was much much better. Well, my whole life got turned upsidedown. I literally freaked out and even wanted to sue my doctor.  I have never felt so sick in all my life and I have never been so damned depressed.  The nice doctor that prescribed them for me, stopped being a doctor for me and refused to acknowledge that I was totally addicted. I ended up in the emergency room.  The doctor there told me that he thought I was addicted to vicodin and he told me that I should see my PCP for further treatment.  I was devastated.  My PCP put me on a weaning program and I swear to the good lord up above that I hated her.  I was so lost in a world of pain, shakes, chills, cramps, vomiting and very bad diarrhea. Well 1 month ago, I decided to take matters into my own hands.  I followed her program as best as I could but I felt that it wasn't working.  So, for the last month I have been taking 3 vitamin c's a day as well as b-12. I have also taken to sitting in a steamroom at 24hr fitness for as long as I can stand it.  It has been 1 month and this is my third day of having only 2 vicodins a day.  I feel so much better and I feel so much more in control of my world again.  I wanted to post this to just to say that I am so glad I have been able to read so many of your posts because you were all with me during the many many nights that I could not sleep.  I thank you all for sharing your stories because I thought I was so alone.  My PCP started me out on 60 tabs a week, then she minused 7 tabs a week. At first I couldn't follow her program at all. After a while I got the jist of it and now I am way ahead of her plan.  I should be on 4 a day but I am actually taking just 2 a day.  I believe that the vitamins and the steamroom have been a silent miracle. It really helped me, along with a little will power that seemed to get stronger as the days went by.  Thanks to all of you for listening and God Bless

[mellie4]

I'm  a pain management patient on many medications after having 9 surgeries on my hand that didn't work.  Now I'm with a pain management team, but when I first started taking narcotics prescribed by my surgeon, I spoke with him about my fears of addiction.  He basically laughed at me and said, "What? You think you're going to start robbing pharmacies?  You won't get addicted."

I've seen what addiction does, both personally with my ex-husband and professionally; I work in a courthouse.  

As the years went by and my dosage increased, I would talk with him again about my worries and he always laughed it off.  When I joined up with the pain management clinic, who are terrific, I mentioned my worries again.  They were more open to hearing my worries but said less than one percent of chronic pain patients end up addicted or misusing their medication and told me I was confusing dependence with addiction.

Of course, dependent or addicted, you still have to go through withdrawal.  Which I had no idea that could happen.  I often would let my prescription run low because I would very often take less of the medication and I'd just forget to get it refilled.  I'd call and have the script mailed to me or I'd go pick it up and never had a problem.

The first time I experienced any withdrawals I had no idea what was happening.  I had surgery and as I often do after surgery, I was vomiting.  This time, though, the vomiting went on for a few days. Most of my pain medication was getting thrown up and I ended up in withdrawals.  I realized this in hindsight.  At the time, I thought I was just having a very bad reaction to the anesthesia and surgery.  When I went in for my post-op checkup, I asked the nurse practitioner about how bad I was feeling and she told me that it wasn't from the surgery and anesthesia and that I must have caught a bad virus.  I was sick for 10 days.  But I never put two and two together and realized  it was withdrawals.

Then once there was a delay with the mail and I ended up in the start of withdrawals. At first I didn't realize what it was; I thought I was getting the flu.  But I had never been as sick as I was with the flu.  Again, I went into the beginning of withdrawals.  And again, I didn't realize it was withdrawals.  It wasn't until my script came and I took the percocet that I realized it was withdrawal.

I was devastated.  I talked to the prescribing doctor and again, they went into dependence versus addiction.  I know there will come a time when I will want off all the medication I'm on for one reason or another.I'm scared to death of the withdrawals. The pain management team has assured me that when I want to come off they will taper me down slowly and I won't have any withdrawal symptoms. I'm not sure I believe it.

Right now I take less of my breakthrough medicine that is prescribed and I plan to keep cutting back on it

Good luck with all of this.  It is really wrong that doctors are not very forthcoming with this.  I think all patients should be fully informed about addiction and dependence because too many of us get blindsided by the fact that you can become addicted to a relatively small dosage and within a fairly short time.

Best wishes.

[honu11]

I will keep you posted.  I think I may try to have zero beginning saturday because I am off during the weekends?  That may work for me........ Wish me luck.  Now that I've said it, I have to be committed. Geeez, already I am a little nervous. Hahaha. I will continue to share........ Thank you so Much

[DayToTry]

Oh denial definitely happens with pills.  I think that's one of the big things it does.  But aren't you good to see all this.  And see what a bad situation you were getting into.  A year and a half isn't that long really.  I've seen stories of people on here saying they've been using for 10 years ... 15 years.  I think you are going to do great.  If you really feel you must continue tapering ok, but think about trying to just quit.  

[honu11]

I'm a little afraid to just toss it all in. I know I should and I think you are right. I believe the withdrawls could be a lot less than what I originally went through.  I'll keep posting and let you know.  
I kinda feel bad for blaming my doctor but I was just so devastated that he wouldn't try to help me with the mess I got myself into.  I know I should have been more aware of the fact that I was getting hooked. I think I was in total denial?  Anyways, thanks so much for the reply, and I'll try to keep you posted...... Aloha

[DayToTry]

I'm so glad to see that you are making progress.  At two a day I think you could jump off now.  I was taking 3 a day and I had very little withdrawal symptoms.  I don't want to get your hopes all the way up because it is different for everyone, but why not hope for the best, right?

For me personally, I don't like to blame my doctor.  I'm a big girl and knew what Vicodin was.  I think my dr was truly trying to help me deal with my pain issues and had no ill intention.  I'm the one that got caught up in.

Keep posting on here.  If you're able to taper like that I'm confident you'll also be able to quit entirely and am excited for you.

[honu11]

Point well taken. At first I just couldn't come terms that I had allowed myself to be this blind.  I do realize now that ultimately, we are all responsible for our own choices.  Thanks for the reply.....

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

I am glad you are getting through this and hope that soon you will be free from those devil pills.

I suggest that in the future, when a doctor prescribes something, do research before taking anything. Yes, we want to trust our doctors and I believe we should. However, we need to take responsibility for our healthcare as well.

Best of luck and feel better It will be over soon.