Found 15 hydros

[Madmax88]

Well I have almost 120 days clean off opiates or any drug for that matter. The last few days have been harder mentally and sure enough while cleaning garage I find 15 hydro's I sat there and thought about a relaspe for an hour. So I put em inside and tried to forget about them (didn't toss them like I normally do if I find one here and there. Then I woke up at 2am and it was the first thing on my mind I couldn't sleep still can't. So I just flushed them and it was hard. I've turned down these pills so many times since getting sober so idk why this time was so much harder. I can be doing great for a week then il have a week where I'm foggy headed and depressed a bit with a little anxiety and I'm having one of those weeks as we speak so I'm hoping that's why I was really questioning a relaspe. Il be at NA tomorrow for sure but damn if this didn't bite me on the a@@.. I didn't even relaspe and I feel like I did, I know it's my brain playing tricks on me saying " you threw away our ticket" and now it's not letting me smile. Sobriety man it gets tough. Staying positive or atleast trying!! Just needed to say this. Yall have a good day!

[Helpinghand2016]

Hey Mr 121 days clean! Way to go.. I'd say you did wonderful. If getting clean, staying clean was so easy... Then we wouldn't have forums like these.. Right. It will get easier, good time to not lapse cause your brain is at the point of doing some great healing in that head of yours. Our tricky minds!! But if we can just stop.. Our wonderful brain can always find the safe answer if we just give it a little time. You go rock that NA mtg. Wonderful job

[10356]

That is so hard to to but you did it You made the right choice Even thou it was difficult you are training your brain to make the right choices, good on you ! The more you practice good choices the easier it gets even when we feel like c rap.. Proud of you Congrats on 121 days !!

[VICourageous]

VERY GOOD!!! Yahooooo!!

One of the things that the 10th steps says in the AA 12 step is...Booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness..when we are temped by the bait, step back and THINK!!  First job is to sidestep the traps.

Learning daily to Spot, Admit and Correct these flaws is the essence of Character-building and Good Living.
Most of us have Emotional turmoil before Serenity!!
What a GREAT way you handle this situation! You did step back and think before you jumped. Give yourself a BIG pat on the back..YOU are getting way better at Sidestepping now!
The Mental will still take you some time, as the Chemical make up of the Brain is still adjusting back after the removal of these Stims. Time & Patience it will take, but you are just jumping in with all forces here. Very Proud of YOU!!
Bless U
Vickie

[msdelight]

Good job Max! You should be very proud of yourself.  Life gets tough sometimes. I suffer from episodes of depression as well.  On the the pills life seemed good, all ups and no downs. Except when you run out right? Well that's not life,  its prison. So glad you took the tume to think this through to its logical conclusion. Please don't feel guilty about "sinning" in your mind. We are addicts and this will happen at times. Temptation is everywhere. You passed a very hard test. Congratulations!