How in the world did you all

[justwanttobeclean]

get thru this?????I tried CT yesterday off of percs and somas and barely lasted 16 hrs if that long..The Depression was frightening!!! every second seemed like an hour...I don't think I can do this..I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel..My husband is out of a job..he starts a new one in 10 days..but I won't have insurance for 6 months. I was hoping to be clean by the time he goes back to work because I have yo take care of the kids..right now I don't have to until the 18th..so that means I have to go CT...but NOTHING helps..Nothing distracts me...I feel worse than crap every second of the day whether I'm resting or doing an activity...Has anyone else felt that what..I need brutal honesty..How long will the worst of the worse last? Please tell me straight.

I was given meds for an accident I was in..For years I took them as prescribed...then, my marriage started going to hell..fighting all the time between my husband and my kids..they are his step kids..so bad that I would freak out and have a full blown panic attack..That's when I discovered taking 1 more, than 2 more than finally my allotted amount for the whole day in one sitting...I've been on these 6 or 7 years...never had a problem until a couple years ago..I was always careful not to take more than what was prescribed during the day..but I'd take most of it at one sitting just to feel normal. Now..I just want off...as I don't know if I'm able to take them as prescribed anymore since I crossed that line. I have always been depressed, but don't now if the medicine is making me more depressed or coming off it is..I need help..I need hope..I don't know how you all who got clean did it...

[justwanttobeclean]

I'm in such mental anguish I don't know what to do..Every second is pure hell!!!!

[ricart70]

Hi,The agitation will be  less in four or five days.In 21 days it should be noticeably less.

[justwanttobeclean]

Thank you..I REALLY needed to hear that...The agitation is the worst,,Does anyone know how long that lasts?

[ImDONENoMore]

That's okay.  You SHOULD be on here - it helped me so much and I think it's going to help you too.

And YUP get that whole thinking about needing a pill to do ANYTHING.  Jesus, I needed a pill to get out of bed.  Actually I needed a pill to BREATHE.  So I get it.

And YES flush the pills.  The sooner it's over the sooner you're on your way to recovery.  Scary?  Of course.  Necessray?  Of course.  Until you put it behind you, you're hanging on to a life that no longer works for you.  So better to be done with it and get going than to hang onto that nightmare.  So I say do it.

And this forum SAVED MY LIFE.  Yes, others find meetings or therapy to help but for me, it was this place.  I could remain anonymous and still get the help I so desperately needed.  So please keep posting.  You need to FEEL this experience to truly benefit from it, no matter how hard it gets.  And that's the great thing about this place.  Someone is ALWAYS here.  :)

[justwanttobeclean]

Thank you both...I would hate to even go to a nail or hair appt. because I didn't want to be around people..I would have to take pills just to keep an appt..and then it was still hard...I'm just in such a black hoe that feels like a bottomless pit..I'm afraid I won't be able to climb out...I'm afraid I'll never be happy again without the pills..even if it was a drug-induced happiness..

My friends are all inviting me out for fun evenings and activities but I have zero inclination to go..unless I take some pills..It's crazy..I rely on pills to have a social life..Heck..to have any kind of life..And they sure don't work anymore like they used to..They barely just tale the edge off.

I still have some...Should I flush them or hang onto them in case I can't do this CT...Is tapering any easier or better or does it just prolong the inevitable..I appreciate all answers..Who knew a car accident that broke my back would get me hooked...I wonder if in my law suit I can sue for becoming addicted..If it wasn't for that fateful day I never would have had an accident, been injured and become hooked.

I should know better too because my friend across the street abused pain meds and they killed her..she was young too.

I'm going to be on here a lot the next few weeks..so please bear with me..Thank you.

[ImDONENoMore]

Okay well yes, I too still love to lay in bed and watch movies all day!!  But at least now, when the phone rings, I WANT to answer it!!  lol