How in the world did you all

[justwanttobeclean]

get thru this?????I tried CT yesterday off of percs and somas and barely lasted 16 hrs if that long..The Depression was frightening!!! every second seemed like an hour...I don't think I can do this..I can't see any light at the end of the tunnel..My husband is out of a job..he starts a new one in 10 days..but I won't have insurance for 6 months. I was hoping to be clean by the time he goes back to work because I have yo take care of the kids..right now I don't have to until the 18th..so that means I have to go CT...but NOTHING helps..Nothing distracts me...I feel worse than crap every second of the day whether I'm resting or doing an activity...Has anyone else felt that what..I need brutal honesty..How long will the worst of the worse last? Please tell me straight.

I was given meds for an accident I was in..For years I took them as prescribed...then, my marriage started going to hell..fighting all the time between my husband and my kids..they are his step kids..so bad that I would freak out and have a full blown panic attack..That's when I discovered taking 1 more, than 2 more than finally my allotted amount for the whole day in one sitting...I've been on these 6 or 7 years...never had a problem until a couple years ago..I was always careful not to take more than what was prescribed during the day..but I'd take most of it at one sitting just to feel normal. Now..I just want off...as I don't know if I'm able to take them as prescribed anymore since I crossed that line. I have always been depressed, but don't now if the medicine is making me more depressed or coming off it is..I need help..I need hope..I don't know how you all who got clean did it...

[vicki595]

You've got 9 days and yes it's enough time to get the worst behind you if you cold turkey.

You haven't really given this a fair shot. You said you could barely make it 16 hours. Does that mean you took something?

I can suggest this: Stop the Percocet first and then the Soma. Soma should really be tapered anyway and,truly, I wouldn't stop both at the same time.

With CT or tapering, I don't think either are easy. I think it's better to taper because it's a lot less stressful to your body and gives you time to mentally adjust to this change. Some drugs MUST be tapered and in that case it is easier!

[Bkitty]

I know exactly how you're feeling. 2pills turns into 4 then 6,,,next you're at 8-10 per day and popping them first thing in the morning just to get going or before you do something or or have to go somewhere.  You take one here, there and everywhere. But you never feel that burst of energy like you did in the beginning or if you do its short runned, ,,you will NEVER EVER get that back,,I know personally myself.  I'm only day 10 dys c/t off 10-15 perks a day. I had to look at my underlying issues first.  Why was I using? Why was I self medicating? I was in pain. I was depressed. For me withdrawal set in within 12 hours,,,I felt terrible.  You name it. Upset stomach,,sweating esp at night,,,shakey, weak,,irritable, crawling outta my skin,,,insomnia.  But it was the mental part too and at times I thought ill never be able to do this. I made sure I had no access to any pills what so ever (my cat found a bunch though and I was mad at him for days). I did use some of the Thomas recipe,,and took a pill for sleep. I will admit I abused my sleeping pill cuz I thought if I kept myself knocked out id sleep thru the worst of it.NOPE! I did sleep but in intervals still shook and sweated. I have depression and I can't cope. I can't. I had to go see a doctor, ,,,I got into aftercare and NA. this has been a GODSEND! ! Can you go to NA? when you can physically.  Do you have a PCP to call for comfort meds? The meds a lot of others have been using was clonipine and sometimes short term Valium both are inexpensive. I knew I had to tackle the mental,,,I was placed on a antidepressant and anti psychotics (wasn't happy about) but OMG did it help. Stay close here there are others with more sobriety that have amazing advice.  I was in bed 4 days and I made my profile on here,,trackers, ,the whole nine yards. I also journaled,,,sometimes 4x a day and when I was weak and vulnerable I posted like you. I laid in bed with my laptop. Exercise is very important, ,,I'm lazy and that has been hard but I found hot baths helped my legs and minimal walking did too. YOU HAVE TO FIGHT WITH ALL YOU GOT! pull it outta you,,,you should feel somewhat better by the 28th physically but mentally u will in spurts everyone is different.  St johns wort has helped some I've read,,,oh and I read on here a lot. It distracted me some,,you have to do that too. Its hard I know,,I do and I'm so sorry. If it gives you any hope I'm at 10days and I feel 80% better. Stay close and keep posting.  I'm bumping you up here on the forum.

[justwanttobeclean]

and is it easier ti go CT or taper...or are thry both about the same..My Dr. seems to think a taper..even slowly , will just prolong my agony...and agony is what I am in..like I said..since hubby doesn;\'t start his new job til the 28 I have no responsibilities..He's taking care of everything..Is  that enough time if I cold CT..Please and thanks to those who take their time to answer.

[justwanttobeclean]

Thank you for responding..Yes..I've changed up my entire routine..I've even begun to paint..but nothing gets rid of this feeling of being ill at ease in my own body...I'm sacred if I quit (I get my meds from a PM center) that I will still feel like garbage because I've been severely depressed the last 20 years.

Does anyone have any idea how long it might take til I feel at least human..til I smile...Til I have hope? When is the worst of it over..I don't even care about my physical pain..I just want to be able to smile..feel happy and at peace and motivated without taking a drug to feel so. And right now I'm not sure that can happen..Thank you for your time

[vicki595]

I know how I got through it. I just made up my mind that I was sick of feeling like poo everyday! I tapered off of a rather large amount of pills per day. It worked for me but I also HAD to taper given the nature of the drug.

Anyway, you just do it and you ask for help and then you ask for more help!  Some of us have been in some kind of recovery care. Others have found that simply having the support of their spouses/family is enough to keep them accountable.  Find something that works for you and do it!  I've found that this is not a road you can walk alone. We all need help with it!

Also, it's never good to over think this. Frankly, and I say this all the time, you need to change the way you think. You're brain isn't so drugged anymore so help it along by thinking differently about everything! You need to change up routines and you need to learn something new. I'm serious here. Learning a new "anything" will help tremendously. As we learn, we create "new" pathways in our brains. Eventually they will outnumber all the old learned behaviour/pathways. Try it. Even a new card game does the trick!

I can sure give you hope because I KNOW it gets better. Just read some of the threads by members who have a fair amount of clean time. There's hope all over their messages! They wear their hope and their truth beautifully...

It's much more difficult in the beginning, I know. For me, I struggled a lot while I was tapering!  I used to tell myself: " If I feel this horrible tomorrow, I'll just give in".  HAHA!  I said that every day for a while!  I was essentially putting "it" off another day but that turned into many days and pretty soon I didn't want to give that clean time up.

You'll get there. Be patient. Just keep going forward and don't think, just feel. Do something nice for and with yourself. Buy some new lipstick. If you don't wear lipstick, just start! LOL

Keep posting and reaching out. You can do this!

[justwanttobeclean]

I meant to say he doesn't go back to work til the 28th...will that give me enough time to at least feel somewhat better and able to take care of kids..