Im back yet again and need advice

[Dadof5kids1973]

My problem is that I can stay clean for a few months and then BAM I give in. My problem is that my disabled father lives with my family and he takes hydrocodone. My wife will hide them then one day Ill decide to find them. I do aftercare at local church with other addicts but something gota give as I really want to stop. I guess i just wanted to vent. I am starting day 3 as of 6 am today. WDS are not bad at all....a little sore, trouble sleeping but not bad so I know thats not the hard part its the stying clean thats hard.

[atthebeach]

hey dad,
you need to seek out your sobriety with as much fervor and intensity as you would search for the pills in every corner of the house. increase your meetings, seek counselors, figure out your triggers.
wouldn't it be great to be clean and sober at an event.
pray for the chains of bondage to addiction to be broken once and for all.
have a merry christmas
god bless,
debbie

[gnarly_1]

Hey dude good to see you back....wish it where on better terms relapse su cks but its a fact of life for a lot of people you already know the drill force the fluids hot baths the thomas recipe...all I can suggest is stepping up the aftercare going to meetings is good but working the program is where the real victory comes in go to a few N/A meetings find someone there thats got what you want ask them to sponsor you work the 12step program
it will change the very way you think and thats what it takes to beet this thing
as for the pills its got to be under lock and key or like you say when you crave or are weak you will find them and use....at least your most of the way threw your detox stick around
this forum keeps everything fresh in your mind I hope you can end this cycle good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[Punkinhead75]

Getting involved with mtgs and getting to know ppl just like us is a great idea.  It saved my butt.  Understanding that these folks have been through early recovery and being willing to listen to suggestions is big plus too.  I was laughing as I read how we search and find the pills or drugs.  I remember tearing rooms apart trying to find the ol lady's stash.  Glad today that all I have to do when cravings hit is pick up the phone a call someone.  Then like magic they seem to disappear.  Glad your back!!!!

[lifewithoutcoke]

It's amazing what our minds are capable of when we want something badly enough, isn't it? LOL, too bad for us addicts that usually isn't a good thing.....unless we change the way we think, our attitude, and what we want.

I'm glad you picked yourself up off the floor, dusted yourself off again so quickly. That's a big step and you should be proud of that.

So now what? Yup, I think you are right about seeking out further aftercare. Try working the steps with a sponsor. It can't hurt. Have you thought about therapy or a counselor?

I'm only at 4 1/2 months clean myself, but it's the longest I have stayed clean in 15 years. I'm finding the one true thing that's working in the long term is changing the way I think and therefore the way I react to life.

Giving our minds less power, because they will talk us into destroying ourselves again if given 30 seconds to do so. Basically unlearn all of your old behaviour and thought patterns and learn new ones.

It's a slow process, but I have to tell ya, it get's easier every day and it's so much easier and more peaceful living clean. Without the guilt, shame, etc...

Welcome back, and hope you stay and keep on posting and sharing with us:)

[Dadof5kids1973]

lol me to. I would find them in 15 mins if that. I have found them in a shoe in a shoebox in her closet (she has 50 pair of shoes in boxes), found them in the bag of the vacume cleaner, she even hide them in the air duct. and I swear everytime It was like you said....my senses took me almost right to them.  Oh and this last time she hide them in the angel of the christmas tree,...that actually took about a hour to find but never the less I found them......sigh.....SO SO SAD.

[tired_of_oxy]

Lol@ domino--bloodhounds is right!

I swear I could find them in under 15 minutes every time my hubby hid his. And we lived in a 3 level house with a garage. My spidy (oxy?) senses would lead me straight to them..He finally had to take them with him wherever he went. But then I got my own script. Thought I was so smart at the time..yeah, I outsmarted myself into a killer addiction.

Dadof5kids1973 - I agree, have her lock 'em in a heavy duty safe..the opportunity to play hide and go seek with them is just too much temptation..

[Dadof5kids1973]

Gizzy, I actually stayed clean for a month after we picked up the pills last time, I went to colorado for a few weeks to visit. It aleays starts when some sort of event is going to take place and you all know the routine.....Just this one time, I want to feel great for this event, I can control it, knowing that I cant. It always gets me just when i am starting to feel 100%. then I "think" oh i will just take a couple and thats it. I will get my wife to buy some sort of safe. I think I will upgrade my aftercare to meetings, a sponser, whatever it takes but I want to do this. Like right now I know right where the pills are but havent touched them so far. so ya I will tell my wife to buy that safe. Thanks for the ear.

[ang_811]

Im happy to see u made it back to us and r ready to fight again. After each relapse i have to always think about what made me use and then work on that with my counselor...U have to find a way to stay away from those pills..I agree with sara, we will find those pills no matter what...find away to get those locked up..keep posting for support and good luck to ya.....Angie ♥

[dominosarah]

Congrats on getting back up again and being on day 3!!  What are you doing for aftercare?   Is there anyway that these pills can be locked up?  We are like blood hounds if they are just hiding.  Keep posting~~~~~~sara

[gizzy32]

Welcome back and glad you stopped again. How long were you using this time? It must be hard knowing pills are at your house, I know myself it would drive me crazy. Can your wife lock them up in a safe or something like that?

Your right, it's the staying clean that is the hardest part and takes a bit of work, but so worth it. I read one of your last posts months ago and you were going to the pharmacy to pick up your Father's pills and shortly after you stopped posting here. What are you going to do different this time so you don't go back to the pills?

Congrats on your 3rd day clean and I hope you continue to post and get support. Using is not an option.