scared

[sick10]

i know that alot of this is mind over matter i have stuff like

   imodium meletonin motrin kolonipin is there anything else that will help with me quiting cold turkey from a vicoden addiction i was taking lots a day and just want to cry my eyes out i've heard people say try to stay busy and don't just lay around and feel sorry for ur self and drink pleanty of water any imput would be very helpful

[DavisRA]

Can't give up. I know its the hardest thing to believe in but we have to just keep the faith. The sellf-loathing and pity party, I KNOW HOW THAT CAN BE!   My GOD do i know, but what i've come to realize, that that's the "devil" That wants us to give up and give in, and everytime we feed into that negative "energy" it grows stronger and stronger, and we get weaker and weaker; it takes on our personality, knows our weaknesses and strengths and how to use them against us; fools our perceptions, it becomes that little voice that says give up, have another hit, look at all the people your hurting, how can you be so selfish, etc. And many don't understand, that addiction is a disease, and if you haven't been there, you'll have no idea what a "hell" it is. BUT its NOT the end all to be all. Yes we got ourselves into it, and only we can get ourselves out of it.  First, we have to stop giving energy to the negativeness, which means instead of being reactive to it, we become pro active and do something positive, which could be anything that makes you feel good, and it could be anything, little simple things are the best. I work in a community garden, and when i'm to wasted or feeling too parnoid to go out, i'll read the bible, or a book on poetry, watch a fav movie, anything that takes your mind out of idle mode, (which is truly the devils playground). Second we have to stop trying to understand it all, the whys, how comes, why me, what ifs-we just have to surrender to the "GOD" of our hearts who is willing to bare our burdens, and graces us with unconditional love. Now this is the hard part, we MUST think ourselves WORTHY of rreceiving such love, and grace. As the GOD of our hearts have faith in us, we must have it for ourselves. And as the CHRIST says, "There is ALWAYS FORGIVENESS" so lets forgive ourselves, and remember time is what's needed and time heals. Sorry for being so long winded but i've been where you are, and occassionally halter, but i'm only human, and know its a disease. But what i've come to notice after some 30 odd years of addiction/ withdrawal to Oxycotin for over 4 years, coke 7, meth 7, and everyting from GHB, to Special k, Crack, etc. Had every material posession you can image, and lost every material possession you can imagine, hit rock bottom, bounced back up, and hitting it again, many times wanting to give in, but for some "GODLY" reason i'm still here, at 50, and your still here, because of our higher power, which has been my only constant through all my trials and tribulations. I use to question, 'dear GOD what is the reason, why me,' "No reason needed, its because you are loved, you are my child and you are loved" free of judgement, free of threat, free of fear, LOVED free and clear. GOD is paitent, even if it takes an eternity he will not leave us, even when were in our deepest darkest, and feel so alone, were not-I surrender-i feel weak, and  grieving, i feel lost and can't seem find my way, i feel tired, hurting and frightened; i have no more will (EGO) lord, but ask yours be done." And that's all we can do, we can't ask anymore of ourselves than what GOD ask for us, "TO LOVE OURSELVES" And he will take care of the rest.
I WISH YOU LIGHT, LIFE, AND LOVE!
Reggie

[NeverDreamed]

Hang in there, it will be h3ll for the next few days, but it's only a few days.  I had clonidine and valium prescribed for withdrawals.  I had to make myself eat, which i'm so glad I did, because it gave me energy, even though nothing tasted good.  Hydrate even though you don't feel like it.  I took 4 immodium per day for 5 days, then just took 2 per day for the next week.  I had to be able to function, as I did this alone, I chose not to tell anyone, so I was allowed to have the flu for a couple of days (2), then I had to power through it.  The clonidine helped, motrin helped, immodium helped.  You can do this!  Day 19 here, and I feel amazing.  I've lost about 15lbs, my mind feels clear, alert.  I don't feel i'm hiding anything anymore, the pills are not dictating my day, I am dictating my day, my life.  Keep posting and reading here... I so agree, everyone here has been a god send for me.  

[atthebeach]

good job. you are going to be just fine. you tapered very low.you did excellent with your taper. you got this. take it second by second, then minute by minute, hour by hour, etc................. step by step......
dont project to far ahead, all we have is today. one day at a time. let go and let GOD.  keep yourself busy. drink lots of fluids. take hot baths with epsom salts if needed for aches and pains. think positive thoughts. i got this. i am breaking free. i am in control of me not the pills. keep the faith. keep on keepin on.

[sick10]

I though I posted this earlier. But not quite sure how to work this post thing and my moods r all over right now doing house work it for now it seems like a relief knowing there gone and I have no choice. Mood goes from second to second and sure there is worst a head but knowing people like u all r out there is a God send.thank you

[MikeInFrance]

Don't let fear overcome you and control you... I see it so often here and its really unwarranted ... Take this as a challenge to get back to being YOU! The real YOU! Post as much as u like here because we are always ready to help... Helping others helps each one of us help ourselves! Stay strong and stay true to yourself!

[sick10]

OK there gone and now I feel even more scared  just hope i make it know the likelyhood of dying is slim but i would love to crawl in a hole til this is over have to get ready for blood work hot shower should feel good i'll post later

[OutsiderS]

Sick- we were all in this boat.  My first withdrawal I stocked up on everything.  Jeez I was ready, or so I thought. Had Klonopin, Xanax....... Got thru the physical and than crashed and burned.  Did this nunerous times b4 success.
Well I am today 70 days clean and last time I quit I had no meds.  This is all in your mind.  Sure you will ache and burn but really it only lasts a week or so.  Throw away the pills, get your mind ready and curse the drugs (and not hypothetcally, i would literally curse them out). I was in your exact position and remember it well.  I am now on the other side of the fence and you should jump over as well.  
Forget about slipping up, it happens.  Just make this the last time.  Cuz for me, every relapse was harder than the last.  Stay strong and positive. I will pray for you. God bless

[OutsiderS]

Sick- we were all in this boat.  My first withdrawal I stocked up on everything.  Jeez I was ready, or so I thought. Had Klonopin, Xanax....... Got thru the physical and than crashed and burned.  Did this nunerous times b4 success.
Well I am today 70 days clean and last time I quit I had no meds.  This is all in your mind.  Sure you will ache and burn but really it only lasts a week or so.  Throw away the pills, get your mind ready and curse the drugs (and not hypothetcally, i would literally curse them out). I was in your exact position and remember it well.  I am now on the other side of the fence and you should jump over as well.  
Forget about slipping up, it happens.  Just make this the last time.  Cuz for me, every relapse was harder than the last.  Stay strong and positive. I will pray for you. God bless

[MikeInFrance]

Alot of people will come at me hard for saying this but .... If you have those 2 pills left then the best thing is to get rid of them right now and start this detox in a serious way. If you aren't gonna flush em then take it and start this detox in a serious way. I don't encourage that at all and I hate suggesting it but  How do you expect to detox with pills next to you? Almost impossible buy absolutely more difficult from what i see by reading ur post. Again let me reiterate ... Throw those dam pills away and take this seriously and commit to it! It's not easy, I know firsthand! But u need to do this for you so that you can be there for your kids and others in your life! U will find so much support here! Please get rid of those pills and push through this!

[sick10]

I took one this morning I feel bad about it I only have two left.  I feel so bad for. My children just can't seem to get out of myself loathing I think it would be better to have none I'm so besides myself I'm rambling sorry no one around me understand or r willing to help I feeling very isolated right now any imput would be greatly appreciated should I flush I mean after taking like 26hydro 10 what is 2of them going to do I'm thinking just take the plung?

[sick10]

Thanks it's a great feeling nowing ur not along i will keep posting and take it second by second thanks again

[LostNoMore]

Hi Sick! You might need to change your name when you get "well"!!!
Awesome you're here and getting clean. And yes, you CAN do it.

I didn't see anything about what doses of what drugs you were taking.
It's important that you consider seeing a doctor. Depending on your dose/drug and length of use, detox can be dangerous. I was using 60-70 mgs of oxy and hydro. I went to my MD just for peace of mind. It's important that you're honest. They've heard it before.

As for the detox itself. HYDRATE. Mild exercise when you can stand it. Look at the Amino acid protocol link at the bottom of this page. Also the Thomas recipe. Careful with the Klonopin. Benzos like that should not be taken long-term. I took valium for 2 days, which was prescribed specifically for detox. I had enough to last five days, but I flushed it after 2. After reading posts here for a few days, I realized that sleep disturbance would be a fact of life for a while, so I figured I would get it started, and I've been totally clean for 28 days. The first 4-5 days are the hardest, for me day 2 being the worst. Imodium, gatorade, vitamins, hot soaks, a lot of books, music and movies. STAY around the forum. Even if you use, POST. BUT DON'T USE!!! Just for today.

[justneedtotalk]

Northeast is right.....The first week is the toughest because EVERYTHING and I mean EVERYTHING is going crazy within your body.  The anxiety, fear, and physical symptoms combined is what makes this such a difficult process.  If you stick around you will hear a lot of people talk about time.....Time is what needs to pass and time is what heals.  One of the biggest rules of thumbs when going through this is you get out of detox what you put into it.  If you keep your mind occupied and drink lots of water while getting as much of the supplements down will greatly reduce your detox time and get you back to a manageable state.  If this is your first time going through this, it can be scary but you can do it!  You just have to try and relax and keep your mind off of the pain and misery the best you can.....The next thing you know, you will be slowly rising above the fog and you will once again look upon life with clear eyes and mind.  It is a great feeling when you get to the point where you are functioning daily without the use of pills.  This is one of the most difficult things a human can go through and that is what makes it sooooo rewarding when you get through it!  Hang in there and good luck.....We are all rooting for you!

[deandean185]

Take up a hobby. It also helps to talk to someone who has went thru the same thing.

[lal757]

   You can go to the Thomas recipe and see what you will need to help you with the wds.  Its on the bottom of the page.

[NorthEast213]

Hello my friend.

I am on day 6 of a virtual C/T for a 300mg a day oxy addicition. I say Virtually bcuz I took a few doses of suboxen in which in my case was a bad decision.  Made me feel worse.  Day 4 I was really crappy scared etc.  I invite you to look for my post in the forum from a few days ago and see where I was at mentally and physically then and how I am now.  Do I feel great? No.  But I feel a HECK of alot better.  In 6 days I went from a basket case and fearing what was around the corner to Positive and excited about what is to come for me.  Be strong and  NEVER under estimate the power of a good old big dose of Imodium.  It helped me in more areas then just my stomach.  YOU CAN DO THIS IS IF I CAN.  TRUST ME!!!!!

Stick around and keep posting.  Do it often. It helped me so much the last 3 days. I will be happy to keep checking back as much as I can to respond and help how ever I can.  The people are GREAT on here.

Good luck my friend and just remember you can do this.  You are stronger and more resilient then you will ever know.

North East