well i owned up

[dac70]

I am a 41 yr old mother of 3. Been taking hydrocodone for about a yr just because it made me feel better... then I had to take them just to feel normal. I know better than all this...it just kind of happened.
I've been reading all Ur posts all day and I hv seen myself in so many of u... searching thru my car for dropped pills...counting them over and over. But I just realized yesterday that since Jan 02

[all_alone1]

Well I am here for you just call on me if u need someone to talk to....I am a stay at home mom so I am avaliable to talk anytime

[dac70]

Angel..Lima
I sorta wish I had some to taper but I know in my heart that I wouldn't... its like the pills take control. Its a rediculous situation to be honest. When I hv them...I hv to take them. Its like I have no choice...crazy talk but I guess at least here I all understand and are not gong to treat me like I jv grown a 3rd eye. Lol
I feel optimistic and think I will push myself to at least walk around the block...
Thanks again for the support... I'm going to need it more than I know I'm sure...

[dac70]

Thanks for the comments and support...
My husband went to bed. I think it bothers him more that I kept it from him rather than the fact that I hv a problem. I too hv pushed away all my friends. Don't want to go anywhere or engage with anyone and this is no life to live... I read bout people on facebook that go running and hv these active healthy lives... I want to get some of that living back!! I am 41 and hv no life... I do want or back

[rmrobbie11]

Hello. I know exactly how you feel. I am currently on day 12 about to be 13 clean of a vicodin habit and can tell you it will be hard, by it is soooooo worth it to put these awful things behind you. The good news about rock bottom is there's nowhere else to go but up. First thing you need to do is prepare yourself for the inevitable withdrawal. How bad depends on how much and often you used. Check out the Thomas recipe. It's a mix of vitamins and other meds to help ease the withdrawal. Second go to meetings, see a therapist, something. Someone who will understand what is going on and you can share with. Some people don't think so, but aftercare is just as important as the initial detox. I finally got off my *** and went today. After 12 days and a nervous breakdown, I finally went to a therapist, who helped me a lot today. It ***** at first, but it will get better. You have to hang in there and not give up. I almost gave in today, but I didn't and I feel so much better for it. It's been 12 days and it feels like it's been 12 weeks, but it's definitly worth it to be away from these little devil pills.

[all_alone1]

My huband and I are surely getting divorced, not because of my pill usage but his mental abuse of me that certinally helped fuel the migraines and thus the pill usage.

He has threatened to take the kids but I told him that he would only be hrting them rather than punishing me for wanting to be rid of him...he know it would hurt all of us he he did someting like that

[kyle505]

You got here just like the rest of us. We are not bad people, we just made some bad decisions. And yes, the pills do make you, and me, feel good. Real good. So good that, sooner rather than later, they become more important than friends, family, and our own health. That's my story, your story, and many others in a nutshell. You are at an important juncture in your life; it sounds like your husband has had it. Now you have to decide what you're going to do, for yourself and your family. If you want to stop, you can. I did, and you can read about others who had addictions far worse than ours, and are clean. If you decide to stop, this is the place where you can get support and information that will help ease the withdrawal.

[all_alone1]

I am 38 and I have also been taking them for about a year and a half........I took it for migraines and noticed how they made me feel like me again the old me happy and careefree.....I also have kids 6 to be exact 2 are still small

I didn't feel addicted until I came across this site and realized that I was and it was a shock to me...I felt so normal so happy...how could I be addicted but I was and still am.....I am working through a taper....started at 4 1/2 10/325 daily and now down to 1 1/2.....dropping the first 2 pills seemed easy it is these last 2 that have become difficult...but I am determined to drop to 0.

My point is you are not alone I am here if you need to talk to someone...and if you don't feel like talking to me just know there are soooo many wonderful people on here to talk to

[dac70]

That I jv taken 90-10's & 60-7.5's...wow. the last couple of days I took them... they almost made me feel bad...just sick feeling...so I thought, maybe its time to quit.
So I took my last two yesterday morning and hv had none since.
I thought to keep me on track I would come clean to my husband...not so good...
We hv been thru a lot and we had a really rough time this time last yr...bout the time I started taking then regularly...I think I did it to numb myself from what was going on
.no excuse...and really they just made me feel damned good.
well as I said...my husband didn't take it well. He basically told me this was it...pills or him & the kids...let me back up... we hv been thru this somewhat before but I was not taking them like I am now. He asked of this was the last time?? I said I hope so but I can't say for sure... and he said... I can!! So where do I go from here?? Am I at rock bottom? WOW HOW DID I GET HERE???