How to stop the depression and crying!!!??

[kikinpeanuts]

Hi Everyone,

I have posted before when I was pregnant and addicted to vicodin and to make a long story short here it is:

I started taking vicodin for migraines, at the beginning of my pregnancy they got way worse therefore I took way more vicodin to treat them and then found out from my ob-gyn that is was not safe due to risk of still born and miscarriage to stop cold turkey so she called them in on a daily basis for me, then I had the baby(c-section) had pain meds for that, then had wisdom teeth pulled, more vicodin for that, and now three months after my baby was born I have gotten up to 15-20 pills a day.  It varies on the strength by whatever I could get but mostly 5's.  

So I had recently planned on going to the methadone clinic to try and get off the pills that way and had alot of faith in it but my family and friends convinced me to go to a detox center just overnight to see if they would be able to make me more comfortable during the withdrawal process.  I hated it!!!  It sucked so bad and was so not the place for me.  It was a loony bin!  So anyway I am going about 2 and 1/2 days with no pills and don't feel that bad physically, besides some shakes, diarrhea, and weak and tired BUT....  my worst struggle right now is non stop crying and massive depression!!!  I want to get some pills(which I know the doc will give me) and go to my scheduled appointment at the methadone clinic but my family and friends are still against it.  I just am very afraid I am never going to feel normal and be able to stop crying and how the hell do get rid of the cravings????  They're consuming my mind!  I want to pop a pill so bad to be back to what I feel is "normal" and just go on like I was.  Happy, energetic, motivated, being able to take care of my kids and household no worries... now I am in such a depressed mode all the time.  How do you fight the psychological withdrawal symptoms?  Please help!!!

[briansworld]

Don't try to taper now you are so close to feeling normal again the crying will go away in a few days.  If you try to taper you will be taking a step back you already stopped so be strong baby you can do it we all here for you

[laurel453]

Hi kikin :)

i know it is hard not to do it cause we are filled with shame and blame but please, think that you are doing the best now, addiction is not a matter of being bad or good, don't beat yourself, you need to be positive with the changes you are taking to recover your life... hang in, things will get better. It is a great step that one of looking for aftercare, well done , kikin :) so well done. Prozac will take some time to start working don't give up during those days...look at your children and eventhough it will take a little time to feel great, you are now a clean woman fighting for them and for yur life, feel proud of yourself :)

[troubleinohio]

I feel for you. I suffered very bad depression several of the times I quit hydro. You may have a compounded effect- depression from both w/d and post partum! you just had a baby 3 months ago right? Did your dr. discuss this at all? I am glad to hear you were given prozac. That medicine saved my life! It is the only a/d I've ever had that helped me. It changed my entire life. I will pray it does the same for you. Hang in there, things will get better!!!

[Lindsay_T]

HI peanuts,
I can relate to the depression. I was motivated by vicodin for so long, when i quit the pills, I didn't want to do anything. I also have kids and love to work hard. So when I was first getting off vicodin, I just had to let things go. Even my concern about my lousy mood. I was really sad and crabby and irritable. I still am very irritable and I've been clean for 43 days.
I really benefit from the advice here on how to stay strong and why using is not an option.
There are so many strong moments in your walk, but it only takes one weak moment to screw it all up. So pay attention to your addiction self-talk. It is not your voice. It is the voice of addiction.
You can pull through this and get clean and strong day by day. You can also sort out your depression and with an AD medication you'll be feeling better soon.
Be strong and keep writing.

[kc156]

Hi.  Please don't go the methadone route,for what you are hooked on.There is so much baggage with methadone,it is like liquid handcuffs.After about 40 days of coming off 2MG. of it,I am really having a tough  go of it.I took it for 5 years,to get off pills,and wish I had just dealt with the pills first.                                   kc

[kikinpeanuts]

laurel453

I feel very sad and lonely :( I saw my doc who gave me prozac but who knows how long that will take to kick in.  I still just wanna cry all the time and feel like I have disappointed everyone in my life and I am so ashamed!!!!!!  I am just like a depressed zombie to the orld and the restlessness(which is very bad) is prevening me from sleeping..  I am trying as hard as I can to resist the temptation but feel like it's always gonna be there and I don't think I can fight it forever.  I am going to and NA meeting tonight.  Post soon!

[laurel453]

hi, kikinpeanuts

How are you feeling today ? :)

[kikinpeanuts]

thanks everyone!  i need ALL the support I can get!  Going to the doc now to ask about anti depressants and the post par tum thing..thanks again...keep you posted!

[laurel453]

ooops, when i started the post, there was only inGodsHands post....i was refering to her answer not vicki's nor tramhater's posts. sorry.

[laurel453]

Hi :)

congrats on your baby and  on your clean time.

sorry you are feeling so down but i don't agree with the post above about tapering, in your case it would not be a tapering but a relapse after almost 3 days, what's the point ? as for the methadone, i agree totally with her, do your research about methadone... PAWS doesn't occur so soon but after some months into sobriety...you are still going through wds.

this is your first attempt and you are clean already.... you are saying that you don't feel that bad physically, this is a good thing, count your blessings here ...as for the mental aspects, yes... it is hard but you can do it... you are addicted to a strong substance, your brain is asking you for its dope, you can not expect feeling happy and normal so soon, it takes time.... but please, be patient, our emotions are all messed up after quitting, the mental part is the hardest, it is quite normal how you are feeling , crying and depressed.....but if you keep feeling that way, you may ask for your doctor to check on your symptoms, it could be a post partum depression....are you taking any other medicine now ?  please, don't give up now :) there is help for you without the methadone and without going back to the pills :)

don't forget about aftercare, na meetings, therapy, counseling ... whatever it may work for you.

keep posting and we will try to help and support you :)

[vicki595]

Hi Sweetie~

I agree with Tram. No Methadone. And after 2 and a half days,you don't want to start a taper.  Try to treat your symptoms. An antidepressant is an excellent idea. Our brain chemicals get sooo depleted with pill use they need to be jumpstarted!

Vitamins and minerals really help. Don't dismiss them. Get some Immodium and take some DMX found in OTC cold meds. Both will help on many levels.

Call your doctor for heaven's sake! You don't need to suffer like this. And you don't need those pills...they'll kill you!!

Vicki

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  You have to be patient.  The depression doesn't have to be treated with vicodin.  How about an antidepressant?  Would the doctor give you that?  Your physical symptoms will get better in a day or two, so just hang on!  I know that the cravings are bad and so is the crying, but you have to hang on.  It will only get worse if you get pills called in and take them.  I promise you that!  It just puts off the inevitable, which is dealing with the depression in the right way.

Keep posting.  You will get a lot of help here! : )

[InGodsHands777]

I would definately agree with your friends and family, PLEASE don't start a methodone maintenance regime!!! Methodone is supposed to be used for very heavy addictions to heroin and much stronger opiates!! The depression part of withdrawl, is what normally causes most addicts to relapse. Even after the initial withdrawing process of 3-7 days, you may have PAWS, which is Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome. Which is the depression and mental aspect, of trying to return to normal after an opiate addiction. Since your Dr prescribed the vicodin to you on a daily basis before, would they be willing to do this again to assist you with a weaning regime, instead of cold turkey? Most people are not strong enough to taper their meds on their own, but since your Dr helped you before this may be a much better option for you!! Tapering SIGNIFICANTLY decreases withdrawl symptoms!! Or..since your family & friends are aware of your situation, would they be able to dish out the medicine to you on a daily basis??