Hydrocodone Addiction Plan

[HydroAdict]

We humans can be a stupid lot, given the right tools and a mindset based in hope and fantasy. I would like to tell you my story. I’ll keep it short, although there’s much to cover. It’s a story of failure, success, failure, success, fear, hope and confidence.

I found myself hooked on Hydro 10/500. I was taking at least 12 pills per day for about two years. I felt good. Never got high. Ever! Just felt good. I figured that I could handle this either a.) forever or until b.) my liver conked out.

But then came that moment in every junkie’s life when supplies dried up. The people here who have faced withdrawal need no rehash of their experience. It seems to be the same for all of us. I had every symptom save one. No vomiting. See? There was one silver lining.

Following those two weeks of hell, supplies were again available. I knew that I could control myself. That’s where the stupid part comes in. I DID control myself. For nearly three weeks, I took the drug exactly as prescribed.

Then came the day that my back went nuts. I could barely walk. So, I took a few extra pills that day. And the next day. And the next day. And the next week. I was up to about 10 per day. Better than before, but still very, very wrong.

Supplies got difficult again. I was down to my last 13 pills with no hope in sight for more for quite a while. I came up with a plan.

I got a pill cutter (available in any pharmacy) and cut all 13 pills into quarters. When I felt withdrawals coming on, I took one quarter pill along with one Excedrin. At first it was every three hours. By the third day, I was down to one dose every eight hours. As of a few days ago, I was down to one every twelve hours. I stopped completely while having about six quarters still in the bottle.

I’m not about to say that it was a breeze. I felt pretty lousy, but had no severe withdrawals. I was cold most of the time (not chills; just cold), had very little energy, had to force myself to eat, and had to change shirts several times per day due to profuse sweating. But it wasn’t the hell of cold turkey.

I’ve been clean for over a week now. I feel great! I had forgotten how good it feels to live a normal life. Still, it would be foolish for me to admit that I don’t miss the drug. It would be a nice thing to say, but you know that it wouldn’t be true.

Despite that void in my life, I feel confident that I won’t be back. Even though the extreme tapering was a lot less rough than it could have been, it’s not worth going though it again. The fear of failure is constantly present in my mind. I know where I can get the drug. I wish I didn’t have that knowledge. Hope is the only thing that can conquer fear, and those two have one hell of a battle going on in my brain every day. I’m looking forward to the day that hope is crowned the winner forever.

I have read all the advice posted here. The “just do it” method, the “Thomas Recipe,” the taper project, etc. Good programs, all. I simply offer my self-imposed method as an alternative that I hope will help someone as it helped me. It may not work for everyone, but it sure worked for this one person.

I honestly feel that I’m done with Hydro. I have the willpower to do many things. Before college, I was a complete slob. I got tired of it and became a neat-freak. One day I decided to quit smoking. That was over 20 years ago. I was a lousy husband to my first wife. You won’t find a more dedicated, faithful husband in the world than me since I’ve been married for 13 years to the love of my life.

People can change. You have to make the decision. I feel that I’ve made mine, but unlike the slob, the smoker and the cheating husband that I once was and recovered quickly and fully, the drugs scare me. They felt too good.

I’m not big on religion, but I’ve tried prayer. It seemed to help. I think I was praying to myself, if you know what I mean. I guess it’s more along the lines of meditation than asking help from a deity. If any of you reading this feel that they do have a relationship with God and can put in a good word for me, I’d appreciate it.

Anyway, there is hope for those of you who are suffering. Try my method. You have nothing to lose. You may find that you have much to gain. I send my love to all of you going through this awful time, and wish you peace and contentment.  

[broknbck]

so happy for you that you are free now. i think the cold turkey way is just insane to do. the way everyones bodies scream, it can not be good. i am glad that you did not have to go through that. i also tappered off before quitting and my withdrawl was mild. i guess some people just cannot do that though.

thanks for positive input and hopefully you have inspired someone to try it.

[Nicki143]

My name is Nicki Nicki143, and that really was a nice story. In the end, everything turned out great for you! Well your life already seemed to be fulfilled with the exception of the vicodin.. Anyway, I am new to this site, and just reading everyone's stories, really makes me hopeful in regaurds to my mom stopping ultram/tramadol once and for all! If you can do it, anyone can I know it! Anyway, congrats for conquring your ADDICTION!
                                 take care,
                                  Nicki

[kim715]

Well that was a wonderful post my friend and I thank you for sharing your experience.The more ways we have to conquer our addiction the better.I'm certain your post will help someone who is where you've been.By the way I have a beautiful relationship with God and I will most definitely put in a good word for you..LOL    All the best...Kim