Aa
Hydrocodone/Oxycodone addict
Hey guys,
I've been an addict to hydros for the last 3 years starting w 1 pill a day going to 10-15 10mg hydros in a day at my worst. My issues started a year ago when i noticed how well they helped my mind. Like many of you have described them they are "superman" pills. I cant do it anymore though, i'm on my 2nd day of being clean. i am on suboxone treatment. The suboxone is a God send considering I waited til the withdrawals were an 8 out of 10 before i took it like the nurse had told me to. They were bad and they came on very quickly. About 16 hrs after my last dose. Then it dawned on me that i hadn't waited that long to take a pill in over 2 years. My suppliers were THAT consistent. I want someone on here to reply w/ the truth. I will respect any comment. Depression is my worst fear. I've found myself very depressed, so depressed that i couldn't move - even shortly after taking a cpl 10's (1hr - 2hrs). i want to be off of these things but i fear that I've abused them way too much and i'll be depressed longterm bc i don't have these anymore to better my mood. i travel around the midwest for my job so i'm constantly in my car and I would take these pills and create scenarios in my head of "happy" situations whether it be a social encounter, or an illusion of me driving the new truck that i want, or a great sales call. Either way, the pills pleased my mind in that kind of way. I've always been like this in a sort of way a "daydreamer" if u may have it. I just hope that over time my brain will function like that w/out them. If anyone wants to follow me on here and see how my "Detox" is going, keep in touch. Drop me a line and i will respond. I'll answer any questions and i'm sure i have questions for you to answer. whether ur high or not may ur day be good. one love
I've been an addict to hydros for the last 3 years starting w 1 pill a day going to 10-15 10mg hydros in a day at my worst. My issues started a year ago when i noticed how well they helped my mind. Like many of you have described them they are "superman" pills. I cant do it anymore though, i'm on my 2nd day of being clean. i am on suboxone treatment. The suboxone is a God send considering I waited til the withdrawals were an 8 out of 10 before i took it like the nurse had told me to. They were bad and they came on very quickly. About 16 hrs after my last dose. Then it dawned on me that i hadn't waited that long to take a pill in over 2 years. My suppliers were THAT consistent. I want someone on here to reply w/ the truth. I will respect any comment. Depression is my worst fear. I've found myself very depressed, so depressed that i couldn't move - even shortly after taking a cpl 10's (1hr - 2hrs). i want to be off of these things but i fear that I've abused them way too much and i'll be depressed longterm bc i don't have these anymore to better my mood. i travel around the midwest for my job so i'm constantly in my car and I would take these pills and create scenarios in my head of "happy" situations whether it be a social encounter, or an illusion of me driving the new truck that i want, or a great sales call. Either way, the pills pleased my mind in that kind of way. I've always been like this in a sort of way a "daydreamer" if u may have it. I just hope that over time my brain will function like that w/out them. If anyone wants to follow me on here and see how my "Detox" is going, keep in touch. Drop me a line and i will respond. I'll answer any questions and i'm sure i have questions for you to answer. whether ur high or not may ur day be good. one love
At the beginning not so smooth, felt a little off my game and tired, day ended up getting progressively better and better… did not take suboxone. Overall it ended up being a good day but like i said i was draggin *** all morning/early afternoon.
Absolutely will do. I took a nap today and I'm starting to dream again. I remember having vivid dreams until my addiction became severe and essentially woke up in withdrawal. Thanks for staying here w me, u are the best.
Right on! one of my fav things to do was eat a cpl of hydros and jam out. i need to switch it up. I'll look into the recovery CD's and def Dr. Kevin McCauley. i was thinking maybe Rosetta Stone to help w my Espanol! My day 3 went great my mind was focused ALL day and didn't think about a hydro. i'm hoping all days are like this even though i know they won't be. Also went fishing and did very well. Keeping my mind busy and occupied is my main task. i ate 15 10 mg watsons bt 2pm tues and 4 pm wed of this week. and now 3 days later they haven't crossed my mind. Not saying to brag just letting you guys know so far so good. The real test will be while i'm in my car next week. Will keep everyone posted on what goes on as far as thoughts and mood. Thanks for staying w me!
You sound good today....and being involved in a recovery program is the best insurance you can invest in!! Glad to hear you will add some meetings next week.
For 13 yrs, I, too, traveled for my job. I covered a 5 state area and St Louis was one of the many cities I traveled to. One of the things I loved about my job was that my car was my office (most of the time) and in between sales calls I could listen to and feed my mind and heart ANYTHING I wanted to. You have a golden opportunity to listen to recovery CD's of ALL kinds, music that will lift you up and encourage you, books on CD, etc. One of my favorite addiction guys is Dr. Kevin McCauley....he was in the military, a flight surgeon actually...got addicted to opiates, sent to Leavenworth Federal Prison and spent every waking moment studying the brain and addiction. The library should have lots of material you can check out and take on your road trips with you.
Hope you will find the courage to tell all your work connections that you are done so that door is closed for you. Let us know how you're doing....we'll be here for ya all the way~
For 13 yrs, I, too, traveled for my job. I covered a 5 state area and St Louis was one of the many cities I traveled to. One of the things I loved about my job was that my car was my office (most of the time) and in between sales calls I could listen to and feed my mind and heart ANYTHING I wanted to. You have a golden opportunity to listen to recovery CD's of ALL kinds, music that will lift you up and encourage you, books on CD, etc. One of my favorite addiction guys is Dr. Kevin McCauley....he was in the military, a flight surgeon actually...got addicted to opiates, sent to Leavenworth Federal Prison and spent every waking moment studying the brain and addiction. The library should have lots of material you can check out and take on your road trips with you.
Hope you will find the courage to tell all your work connections that you are done so that door is closed for you. Let us know how you're doing....we'll be here for ya all the way~
AWESOME!!!!! You sound great and have a great plan in place! Hey, as for the long dreadful car rides, aside from blasting the music, make phone calls and catch up with some friends and family, get an audio book, anything and everything to keep your mind off the pills:-)
No subs yet today, day 3 is good so far I'm actually waking up not in withdrawal and having to take 2 pills to feel right. I'm involved in a recovery program and will go to meetings come next week. I honestly have no idea why i started abusing these things. i didn't even like them at first, but my doc insisted i keep taking them to control the pain and then one day i "liked" them. prob was the same day i got hooked. i had broke some ribs then shortly after got bit by a king mackerel and got an intense staff infection in my finger. it was like a whirlwind of pain pills for me during that duration of time. and after that i realized the good they did and then realized the ppl i work w had them steadily available. i travel for my job and started taking them only while in my car so i didn't get bored. I'm praying to god i don't relapse as right now it doesn't seem possible but i also told myself getting addicted would never be possible and well…..look at me now. my treatment is a good program it came highly recommended. hopefully w Them, u guys, some will power, finding out and pinpointing the underlying cause and staying away from the wrong ppl will keep me from relapsing.
Again you and I are much alike. I lost a lot of gym time while being high. I traded a high from being in shape for a lazy high that only slowly destroys us. Working out hard is an overall much greater feeling than what a few pills can do.
That HD feeling is true. Atleast for me it was. We stay high so long we forget how it really feels to be alive.
That HD feeling is true. Atleast for me it was. We stay high so long we forget how it really feels to be alive.
welcome to day 3. Are you taking subs? anyhoo, i just wanted to add that exercise and this forum alone is not enough to keep you from relapsing. You have to share your secret to those you love and trust, remember our secrets keep us sick. Go to meetings, church, an addiction specialist, anything that you feel comfortable with but you have to get ALL the help you can get to keep yourself clean. We tend to use pills (drugs) to hide or cover up our emotions once the detox period is over its time to figure out why you used, getting down to the underlying issues as to why, now that is the ultimate challenge, i do not want to scare you but the detox phase is uncomfortable and miserable, the mental phase of this is the hardest part of all, and that is where aftercare comes in and its so important. Please just think about that.
I quit exercising. Something i plan on jumping right back into as soon as these withdrawal affects are gone. that made me feel accomplished at the end of the day and the gym was my place for motivation. that for me including this forum could be the sole reason i don't have any relapse issues. thanks!
Absolutely what I was hoping to hear. I'm finishing up day 2 and feel good that I'm doing it. Day 3 & Day 4 I'm hoping will be a breeze as well. I know there are cravings in the near future that i have to overcome, and will assess and handle accordingly and in the proper way. By expressing it and recieving hope and motivation from everyone on here. Y'all are awesome and i thank u bc its true support. You are exactly right T.I.M.E is everything in this. I'm hoping it goes by fast lol
Hey there and welcome. I am jumping in to offer support. You and I are from the same neck of the woods. Very cool. I was on vicodin for quite some time and can totally appreciate where you are coming from as well. As others have said, it takes time for our body and brain to heal. As you heal, your body will create natural serotonin again which should help you immensely. Also, if you exercise you can create endorphins to help as well. Keep pushing forward friend. You will never regret your decision to jump off of the pill roller-coaster and start your sober life. Keep posting with any questions...or just to vent or for support.
I abused the very same drug for 4+ years and while I questioned my sanity and longterm damage to myself.....in TIME (the 4 letter word we grow to hate)....I am healing and so will you.
Initially, the reason for anxiety and/or depression can be attributed to a drop in serotonin levels....but as long as we don't put an opiate in our bodies.....we heal every single hour of our recovery. There are stages....and some people choose short term supplementation of an anti-depressant. Others choose natural supplements such as 5HTP, SAM-E, etc.
At the bottom of this page you can read the amino acid protocol for us in recovery and learn more about this. The re-posted Thomas recipe is also very helpful to a lot of people. They are listed under "Most Viewed Health Pages". There is a wealth of information in those health pages should you choose to take advantage of them.
I wish you well on your recovery road.....once we stop romanticizing the pills and stop chasing that "euphoria".....reality and healing can begin.
Let us know how we can help you....and how you are doing as you detox.
Glad you joined us~
Initially, the reason for anxiety and/or depression can be attributed to a drop in serotonin levels....but as long as we don't put an opiate in our bodies.....we heal every single hour of our recovery. There are stages....and some people choose short term supplementation of an anti-depressant. Others choose natural supplements such as 5HTP, SAM-E, etc.
At the bottom of this page you can read the amino acid protocol for us in recovery and learn more about this. The re-posted Thomas recipe is also very helpful to a lot of people. They are listed under "Most Viewed Health Pages". There is a wealth of information in those health pages should you choose to take advantage of them.
I wish you well on your recovery road.....once we stop romanticizing the pills and stop chasing that "euphoria".....reality and healing can begin.
Let us know how we can help you....and how you are doing as you detox.
Glad you joined us~
Truly thank you! I can't wait to see things like that (again). You put it into great perspective
My question is: After have abused these for 3 years (by taking 3-6 the first year 4-8 the 2nd year and 10-15 the 3rd year) and taking so many at the end if i did something longterm to my brain like cause myself depression for the future?
Hey there and welcome. YEs the pills gave us a "FALSE" sense of happiness but look at it this way, it numbed you up from reality. Nothing so good like "superman" comes without consequences, chocolate for example causes weight gain (LMAO) pills(drugs) its all fake, a fake happy, a fake you. Once you get clean and free you begin to see and feel with clarity. I remember so vividly when i first noticed the sky, sun, just nature in general and i said to my self...."Holy $h!t everything looks like its in HD!!!!" i cling to that moment as i was so lost and so numb, that i actually felt like i had 3D glasses on. SO congrats to you on 2 days and just know that you deserve a life, a full happy life. Cut all ties with your supplier and reach out for help and dive into your recovery, i wish you the best
Welcome to the forum~
After reading your post above, I wasn't sure what your question was?
After reading your post above, I wasn't sure what your question was?
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