I messed up :(

[ronny3]

Some of you might remember me starting my detox in December...i was doing so good i made it to about 100 days sober, but i still ended up relapsing....I am very embarassed..especially after trying to help people and myself i end up back in the same spot..when i said that it would never happen again...

I should have gone to meeting and that was probably my biggest mistake, the PAWS really got me and i started to forget why i got sober.  I finally know where i went wrong, but it kills me that i have to do it all over again i would be about 6 months or so clean right now if i didnt...

Im in day 3 of detox, i was too embarassed to post the first 3 days...The thing that is really killing me is that i have to do everything all over again...it honestly scares me, i know i am going to do it, but it scares me bad...

This time it caused alot more damage, with my girlfriend and even family...im sick and tired of it.. but i know im ready to live my life and correct what i was doing wrong while i was sober....TO EVERYONE....when you get clean you need more help, it doesnt end there...life gets better, but you need to goto meeting or to talk, otherwise you might suffer my fate and relapse...

Thank you to everyone who helped me in the past...i have not forgotten...

[road2recovery]

Glad you are back...Just found your post..I am really glad that now you see how important aftercare is....You will get back to that number , right now just get through your w/d's and try and eat, and get some excercise, well u know the drill!!
God bless and good luck
r2r

[flmagi]

Welcome back Ronny!  Don't be embarrassed about the relapse, most of us have been thru it too. It's a learning thing.  Sounds like you're on the right track this time.  Hang in there.

[worried878]

keep posting this time!   dont feel bad cos relapse is part of recovery for most...few make it on the first go around...live and learn...aftercare is so important....keep moving forward and make a plan for when u crave...keep posting

[Kevin_Bacon]

Reminds me of my first real attempt at quitting smoking ... after about the same length of time as you, I was really down on myself about it, until I realized that I just went almost six months without a drag! I decided that it was a really good "practice" run: I now knew how to get by without smoking, after six months of successful strategies and tricks -- so, no, you're not back at Square One -- you know how to live without 'em, and you can apply that knowledge here.

So there.

[dominosarah]

Dont beat yourself up.....You are back now and realize what you need to do.  Focus on the positive and not the negative.......You can and are doing this!!!!        sara

[SophieShine]

I am good I'm almost done with my benzo taper!!! It took me 14 months and I'm about 2 weeks away from the big jump, I just can't waiiiit !!!!!
I am soooo sorry, but look at it this way, you have 3 days behind you already and you're back on here. So CONGRATS on 3 days and on wanting your freedom back for good!!!

You can pm me whenever you feel like it, ya know me!!! lol.
All my strength. xoxoxox. sophie.

[ronny3]

heyyy....how are you doing? better then me i hope.?  I know now when i should have listened to everyone about meetings, but my fear of them and me thinking i didnt need them was my biggest mistake.  I know whats ahead of me now...i wish i didnt have to do it again, makes me want to go back to the day i relapsed and beat myself up...

Yeah...you know i know about the aminos lol...and baths...oh its so sad how many times i felt this...:(

[SophieShine]

Hey Ronny!!!
I remember you and the Kelly's !!! LOL. You guys were hilarious!!!
I am sorry to hear what you have been thru, you learned the hard way how important after care is.... Don't beat yourself up, you know there's no judgment here... You came back and reached out, you are honest about your relapse, you'll find all the support you need. You got mine!!!
Now, I guess you know the procedure, Thomas recipe, amino acid protocol, hot bath and exercise and please keep posting...
All my support. xoxoxo. sophie.
PS: Back then my nick was totallost...