detoxing myself and so scared!!!!!

[kash20]

hi all im a 41 year old mom of 2 amzing kids 16 and 8 i am hiding and fighting with a pretty severe roxy addictiion up to 8 30 mg pills a day for about a year please give me words of wisdom and some advice how to do this i have lost my insurance so cant really go to the dr for financial reasons,but i am READY TO BE DONE I HATE THIS LIFE i want me back any words of wisdom would be amazing im so scared  had a boyfriend who was also addicted and think ending that was a start im not blaming him in any way i did this but i heard to get rid of all triggers,rehab is not an option for me because i am a single mom with no family to really help im alone and scared and living a terrible secret thank you all so much

[kash20]

i belive im going to have to do a taper the chest pounding the sweats the crazy mood swings gave in and took a xanex didnt know what else to do its almost like i cant breath the joint pain is un beliveable the acid feeling in my chest and i belive so much is mental and im fighting the best i can i cant do the ct thing i panic iand i also have a yippy little dog and my moods are so crazy that when she barks its almost like someones hitting me with a bat im down to three oxys and i am like holy s^&t then what its amazing how this tiny little pill can take all your good,im just never happy always on edge and all i want is to be clean healthy and the best mom because my children desrve it and need me back i will beat this but  just so so scared and mentally tourtured im so glad i found this forum its amazing how many people from all different worlds are struggiling wiyh this sick sick addiction, but all i know is i would rather live with pain then this monkey on my back theses doctors are so fast to write these scripts i think it should be somesort of law that the dr should inform more info idk what the hell im even saying just know im scared so scared but am so ready to be me again,how long will it take to feel normal i dont mean feel great but just good enough to be ok,god bless you all and thanks so much for the advice and the careing words means so much xo

[mellie4]

You're in the right place.  There are so many here in the same boat.  I'm on a taper.  I can't do CT.  I'm still feeling rotten, but I've already come off a ton of stuff (prescribed.)  I'm a single mom of 4 kids.  My fiance lives with me (he's also a pain patient and pretty disabled with a neck injury.)  I have my 83-year old dad and LOUD yorkie terrier who refuses to potty train.  There are moments that I think, "Geez, just take an oxy and you'll be fine."  But I refuse.  I'm not going back in that direction no matter how bad I feel.  My emotions are all over the place, but at least I AM feeling my feelings.

Good luck.  Listen to those who've come through this.  You can do it.

[kash20]

THANK YOU CATUF IM GOING TO TRY THE MEETINGS MY FATHER  JUST CELEBRATED 25 YRS SOBER  IM SO PROUD OF HIM,IM JUST TRYINGto find my way i feel ive lost control and all happiness just want my world back,my first step was admitting to myself that i am an ADDICT looking in the pill bottle counting what i have left its so sick counting days am i gonna make it IM DONE nobody knows because i am ashamed of how i allowed these stupid pills take me!!!!! i will try anything and am grateful for all the great words and advice, i feel very comfortable on this site looked for weeks and alot of them were  bashing people not for me i came here a while back and each day kept coming back and i saw that the people here are really here to help each other and respect that it was liked i walked in a room and everyone just hugged me so THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH

[IBKleen]

Hi Kash & Welcome to the community,

I agree with CATUF--if you are serious about STAYING clean, listen to what he said.

I went through many a detox in my time but did not find recovery until I reached out to people who had gone before me and were living life without the use of drugs. It is a humbling experience and requires blind faith but it could and may just save your life.

I wish you the best and glad to see that you found your way here. Hope you stick around.

[CATUF]

If you're serious about quitting and STAYING QUIT, find yourself some AA or NA meetings and start going.  Go to 90 meetings in 90 days.  Get a sponsor and start working the steps.  Go to lots of different meetings until you find a few that you like.

I'm mainly a drug addict, but I find AA to be the best fit for me.  It's all the same disease (addiction), and as they say in NA "alcohol is a drug.  Besides, neither AA nor NA is about drinking or using (or even not-drinking/using).  Both are about living in recovery.  Not-using/drinking is not the goal of the programs.  Not-using/drinking are simply the starting points.  The goal is for you to be happy, joyous and free, in a life that does not include using or drinking.  

Take a look at NA's Basic Text - http://www.12step.org/references/na-basic-text/introduction-to-na-basic-text.html

And AA's Big Book - http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/

CATUF
2153

CATUF

[kash20]

im going to do this i feel like i already came to a great place coming to this site i am just scared thank you all so much and thank you for your words of wisdom i am mentally beyond afraid and more because no one knows im actually going to try and set my self free thanks all

[bigz2011]

no pain no gain. think of how better you will feel when you finally cure yourself from this disease. How better you will feel and be with your kids

first of all get plenty of fluids nearby, plenty of food close by because if withdrawal is severe you will probably be unable to do much.

also check up for any natural products to aide the process. Like for insomnia, cramps, diahoerea etc. remember go in natural store. good luck .

[shilohpeace]

I live in North Carolina. I wish you were near me because I would come by and help you to the best I can. I am also going through detox alone and I can't imagine doing this and having kids to look after.  Some say cold turkey.. I can't do that. So you need to taper.  EAch day, do not take as much as the day before. My suggestion is to take it as fast as you can bear it because if you don't taper and keep yourself feeling somewhat ok, you will relapse.  I know this because I have tried to detox from oxys (same thing as percocet and roxys but just time released) at least 4 times. You are going to feel like crap.  Please prepare things for yourself since you are alone. Stock your fridge with healthy foods. Lots of water like Kash said.  Get the Thomas recipe.  Do this when you know you can take some time off.  Force yourself to walk even if it is around the house a few times. I have noticed that when I force myself up when I feel bad and go outside and get some fresh air I do feel better. Also, hot showers do help me.  Hot baths as well.  This is just my advice based on my experience.  Please let me know how you are doing.

[GMcp]

good for you! commin here was good, i dont think id get this far already with out the ppl on here, im on day 11 i got 3 little kids and it was brutal! but after day 8 you should be ok, im feelin better with the withdrawals but still have the underlining issues of pain and tryin to treat that with motrin, i hope we all can make it through this and with each others support it WILL happen
i really think what helped me most was when i started drinkin about 6-8 bottles of gatoraid a day and fish oil and a bunch more vitamins you can do this as long as you keep it in mind this is what you want and nothing can stop you
xoxo

[kash20]

thanks so much im so glad your on day7 thats amazing so proud of you i want to be done bad and want my life back,how long were you sick? were you scared? how do i start god help me but i CAN and will do this CONGRATS AND GOOD LUCK

[wantitdone]

Today is my day 7 , 4th time and last at this..You can do this... please keep reading on here check health pages bottom right get thomas recipe read!! Hot baths, tea,,, It can be done!! No fun BUT SO WORTH the prize ..I am single mom 2 small kids & eldery mother...Today I am actually cleaning taking care of things & best part sober mom!!! . Lot's of water GOOD LUCK!!!