How do you stop taking Vicodin

[LATR]

About a year ago I started taking vicodin. My doc prescribed it to me because I have severe lower back pain. Well I find myself today hating the person I have become. I am a mother of two boys 11 and 2. I have recently separated from my husband that I have been with for twenty years. We were high school sweethearts. I say to myself everyday that I am going to quit tomorrow but then tomorrow comes and the same thing happens. I cant get my mind set right. Why is it so hard. I feel like it is such a mind game. I want to quit so bad but yet I dont. I am taking 8-12 norco a day. Then I take a zanax at night to fall asleep. My life has changed so much and I want my old self back. Why is it so hard please someone give me good advice. I feel so alone and I have not told anyone my feelings. I am embarrased and ashamed of myself

[extrmeski]

Right now you need the people that love you to help you.  Otherwise you jus can't do it with kids.  Someone will havae to watch your kids for at least a week or more for you.  The first 3 days are horrible but you get through them hour by hour.  After that you will still feel bad but not quite as bad.  Take baths showers what ever makes you feel good.  If I can detox off of fentanyl which is 80 times stronger than morophine you can do this..  Read my posts...  good luck

[road2recovery]

I am so sorry you are having such a hard time....Plus going through a seperation does not help...I agree with wannabefree, your mom will help in more ways then u will imagine...She loves you..and sometimes we think they don't know and are surprised later that they actually knew all along....
We all are here for you when you are ready...
praying for you
r2r

[seeksolice]

I wanted to add, that tapering is the best bet if you have someone you trust who will hold the medication for you.

I didnt read the entire thread so i dont know if this was already mentioned..

good luck xx

[wannabefree330]

We have been where you are.  I would recommend you lean on your mother as much as you can right now.  I can guarantee she only wants you to be well, and she will support you fully.  If you can't be totally honest with herright now, that's ok. at least tell her you plan on being sick because you want to get off of these pills.  Physical dependence is a natural occurance and is unavoidable so you would not be lying to her when you say you are preparing to be sick from w/d.  
Being scared to flush your stash is classic addict behavior.  I don't know how many times I was kicking myself in the a$$ after flushing.  But know what?  It was exactly the step I needed to take in order to get better.  Either take everything you have left quickly, or get rid of them.  If you want to enjoy your vacation next week, you don't have much time here.  As far as the separation and broken heart-I'm really sorry.  But try to focus on one thing at a time.  Get clean, that will allow you to deal with the other stuff and in a rational way.  Trying to deal with too much all at once is very overwhelming-even if you aren't an addict.  Take it one step at a time.  And for today, that means just getting through the day.  We're here for you girl!

[LATR]

Thank you all for your support. I just cant get my mind set right but I am trying my hardest. I just recently seperated from my husband (3 days ago) so I am also dealing with a broken heart. My sons are wonderful. My two year old is a handful. I am so scared to just flush the rest. I am afraid I am going to freak out when they are gone. I do have my mom who could help me but I am afraid to let her know how bad I am. Shes my best friend and I have two wonderful sisters. But I have kept this to myself. Thank god for this site. I feel like I can't function or be happy without these pills but yet when I take them I feel like ****. What a mind game I play with myself. I am supposed to be going on vaction with my two sons and my parents, sisters next week. July 5th we leave and I am hoping to be over this by then but who knows. I take zoloft also and I upped my dosage to 100mg instead of 50mg. Like i said I take a zanax every night to before bed because you cant sleep on vics. Im a mess

[Decisions]

I would like to add, that quitting c/t might be the blessing in disguise I needed to stay off.
I did sucessfully taper 2 other times, but did go back.
I was , more or less forced into a cold turkey, and so I have done both. C/T, is a painful way to go but the benefit is a memory of why NOT to go back.

Like wannabefree said, if you can find some help with the kids, then you can have the "flu" for 4-6 days, and then c/t might just be your winning solution.

Hope you can find someone to help you!
Best wishes..

[wannabefree330]

Do you have anyone in your support system that can watch your 2 yr old for you?  I personally do not have the strength to taper.  I never stick true to myself and therefore quit ct.  Sounds as if you may have to do the same.  Even if you don't have someone to lend you a hand, your 11yr old will be able to help you somewhat.  If they have to eat PB and J sandwiches for the next few days, so be it.  In a weeks time, they will have their mother back and it will have been worth it.  I would suggest flushing what pills you do have and get this done and over with.  I agree w/decisions-you HAVE to want this more than anything else in your life right now.  You will have to put as much energy into getting clean, as you did finding and using your drug.  Keep posting, as the mind games this disease plays is the worst part and there are many wise people that will help you here.

[Decisions]

You do have a dilemna.  You have young children that you need to take care of.  Unless you have a source of support, it will be diffcult to go cold turkey.  I just went through cold turkey (taking a bit more than you), and I don't think I could have handled a 2 year old.  I suppose if I really had to, I could have, but it would have been utter hell.

Tapering is be best choice for slowing down the withdrawal symptoms.  But you say you can't do it.  You need to make a decision. Either you want to quit and follow a strict taper, or you don't want to quit.  I have a slightly different attitude about it.  Admit your problem to yourself, and then find true DESIRE to quit.  Then be faithful to your decision, and follow the taper schedule.  IF you don't want to quit, failure is enevitable.

The simple of it is..   You have to be willing to give up your evil devil friend (pills).

Try to remember what it was like before taking.  Before you knew about these pills.  You felt normal then too probably.  Now you take them to feel like you did before you even knew these meds existed.  That is what you want to get back to, the "normal" you felt without taking meds..  

[worried878]

Ct may be the way to go...flush the rest..or give ur pills to someone u trust and taper down and quit..pick a day to quit..important....doesnt sound like they r making u very happy anymore...when u do decide to quit...get rid of any leftovers ...just gotta make up ur mind and go for it

[malenurse57]

Sounds as though c/t will have to be the way you go, it is rough but doable. Like the others said read the thomas recipe and the amino acid protocol. Have you thought of just flushing them. If the are not readily handy then you can't just reach for them when you mind tells you to. Either way good luck and God bless.
"T"

[LATR]

Here we go again. I just took two looks like today is not the day to quit. Very depressed

[road2recovery]

worried----very well said...how true that is....
LATR---  you have to want this more then anything ., it will not be easy, but worth it in the end, for you and your kids...
we are here when you need.....
r2r

[worried878]

tapering is hard to do alone for many...it was impossible for me...i admitted defeat and handed my pills over to someone to give to me each day...and even then i cheated...but i did get my dose down til i had a few days off work and quit on my QUIT day,,,,,important to have a QUIT day...there is a tapering article and the thomas recipe in the health pages....read and learn...CT is not out of the question for u either,...the main ingredient to the thomas recipe or any recipe is u...u gotta want it....deep down u just have to or u wont make it...keep posting

[LATR]

I do work a few hours in the morning. But it just seems that when my mind is set on taking some it does not matter where I am or what I am doing. I just don't know how to get strong enough to do it. I know that I cant stand the way I feel anymore. I feel like theres no hope

[road2recovery]

The mind is a powerfull thing....I know for me when going through w/d's i have found that the mind and body are so seperate...and both need to be treated differently...For most the mind is the hardest thing, even with the **** that our bodies feel, our minds will find a way to make us think we need the poison...Even when our bodies have been through h e l l to get rid of it.....Mindset is so important...Detoxing is not fun, but actually easier then staying clean....But you can do this , and think positive, read positive post.....Find ways to take your mind off of pills....
Do u work??  if so can you take time off to do this?
you really need to have a plan and then go for it
r2r

[LATR]

yes I have tried to taper and have gotten down to just a few a day but the I loose control again. I feel like I've ruined my life and I cant really talk to anyone. I am going to try tomorrow again to say I QUIT but lets see what happens in the morning again. Its my mind that keeps playing games WHY?

[road2recovery]

I am also a mother, and understand exactlly what you mean...As well as everyone here, can all relate...But please don't be embarrassed, you are making a great step to get help...This doesnt mean you are a bad person...
have you ever tried to taper??  Do you think you can?
r2r

[PromisedLand]

You've made the first step by coming here. Go see your doctor and tell him/her what is going on and ask for his/her advice for tapering off.  Request that he/she prescribe clonidine (a blood pressure med that has proven to be a great help in dealing with withdrawl.

We've all been exactly where you are..we don't like the people we've become..and you can turn it around..it's not easy..but you can do it.

I'm sure there will be plenty to respond to you with advice..you've come to a very helpful loving place.

Good luck to you

Jim