WHY

[pill_Deamons]

I was clean for a long time have NO clue the days but I have slipped up and now on day 2 of CT withdrawal. I lost my mom a few months ago and slipped on the pills bad when that happened then I started to get clean and broke my damn knee on my dirt bike being stupid. The DR pumped me up 240 pills a month from breaking my knee joint in half talk about pain. Now I got right back up to 5 10 15 pills a day. I have done about 10 15 a day for about a month straight. Now I have said enough is enough I go back to DR in a week to finally try to walk again on the knee. Been two months of not even able to put my foot on the ground. Now it has been a week of putting my foot on the ground on a scale with 50 percent of my body weight. Damn it hurts sooooo bad to do it and with no pills but IBnothing. I am actually fine for the most part I did sleep last night about 5 hours and been up since 5 am losing my damn mind from boredom. I cant believe I have had no real issues from this CT withdrawal besides being sooo bored.



What can I do to pass this time I have NO ONE with me I moved back to my parents house to be here for my dad after my mom passed and he has been working all day everyday. I am alone none stop I live far away from a town and or friends I cant drive as of right now from the knee and having a car that is a 5 speed GRRRRR yea it $UCKS. SOME one talk lol

[pill_Deamons]

  Where is everybody? Slept only 4-5 hours again last night been up 30-45 minutes two cups coffee in me and still feel sooo tired sluggish and out of it. it is 30 minutes or so tell I hit my 84 hours of CT withdrawal. I have a slight head ache right now just took some motrin hoping that will kill it. I am hoping today is a good day like the last three have been well see how it goes.

[pill_Deamons]

          Man I am still having a little hard time with this boredom nothing too serious though. I have Pink Floyd Dark Side Of The Moon playing surfing the web keeping demons under control. Don't know how this is going to turn out I need to really figure out what life is and where to go what to do and how to handle life again. Haven't handled life sober in so long. I use to just be in my own world and play video games and pop pills. I don't even have  a urge to play them any more really I have tried but not even into it. I don't know what to pick up I know I will be finally finishing my car for sure that is all in good time though and a lot of money. Will finally be able to finish the body motor and everything else on it that I want to redo.

[pill_Deamons]

TY for your words I am doing very well right now actually it is 12 hours before the 72 hour mark. Every time before this I have been in horrible pain and withdrawal. This time has been a walk in the ball park to be honest. It is very weird how I have not had a head ache body ache RLS or the arms is where it really gets me. I have slept every night so far. only like 5 hours but I will take that all day then go four days straight with no sleep like I have prior.

[meegWpaw]

deamons, it sounds like you a doing a great job of entertaining yourself despite it being a beeiotch!   sure sounds hard, what you're doing but try and hang in there and just come on here every so often or more and strike up a conversation with people.  I don't get on here til late but I know there are lots of people on earlier who would chat with you.  I like what VIC said about trying to get to a meeting but if your biggest attention holders are nature and music, keep doing that!  movies helped me a lot.  sorry you are going through this ... stay strong!

[pill_Deamons]

Yeah I love the nature I live well my dad lives on 5 acres so I am kind of deep in the woods. I have been out on the deck watching the trees birds and doing what I can as long as I can. I cant last longer then 15 MINUTES MAX doing anything besides having the ipod on shuffle hooked to the surround sound. I am doing okay just need to relax and stay calm not let this boredom get the worse of I.  

[VICourageous]

Yep! Boredom and Drama, Stress and Pain can be a big Trigger. Can you get a ride from someone to take you to a Meeting or even to the Park or Beach. If you lived up here where I am I should would take you to a Lake or River just to get you out..It is great therapy to get into Nature. Just hang on to the Surf board and Ride it out, You will be walking on the Beach in no time..Talk to us if you get to loosing your mind..OK
Bless

[pill_Deamons]

    TY for all the words and help I tried walking BUT I am on crutches so dont go to well I have tried watching netflix playing ps3 watching tv reading drawing listing to music NOTHING can or does keep my attention. YEAH a girl might work but I need to focus on my issues before I get involved with a female I just pushed one away actually lol stupid I but was for my best interest.


   I know you all are here as spoke by CKN30 that is why I have came back to talk and help ease my mind some. I just want to fall asleep for 2 or 3 more days then wake up and I know it would be fine after that. I dont have money to go to a rehab to be put under for a few days and I can do this like I have before.

   Before it was the insomnia and the arms twitching so bad that drove me crazy but I have slept every night so far for a few hours so that is not a issue. It is just this f**kin boredom I am going through.

[CKN30]

You got all of us ;) a whole place full of people. Whatcha wanna talk about ? Good for you for getting clean again. Sorry about your mom, sounds like a rough time

[michael1953296]

Just be careful it's a known fact that more than not by taking that many pills while your knee is in recovery the pills will actually make the pain greater.

Hmmm I say find a girl to hang out with..sure if that happens time won;t be a issue and you will think up a lot of stuff to do..
Best
Michael

[samanne1987]

First of all Holy ****!! Ouch!!!
Good for you for wanting to stop. I'm sorry to hear about your mom when things like that happens in our lives it's so easy to turn something that will give us a little numbness.
Do you do anything other than ride? I know movies and reading and stuff do get kind of old.
What about drawing or painting or anything? That's stuff I do it passes time.