Life

[Dane74]

Hi all, I am pulling myself up from my slump.  After my relapse, i became very depressed and anxious to say the least.  I am doing all the nessary things i need to do to take control over the situation.  I went to my primary care dr, confessed to him about my love affair for the pills told him about my relapse and wow, the saying goes"the truth shall set you free"!!  Well i felt better getting that off my chest, and as a result i was put on an anti depressant, i am not liking this idea but i do believe its necessary.  So, hopefully in 2 weeks i will notice some improvement.  I am currently on day 8 clean now, i would have been around 80, but its time to forget that mark and just work from day 8.  I cannot begin to stress the importance of AFTERCARE, i found an addiction therapist, she is a blessing, and i see her once a week.  Not going to lie, after one hour in that session, i walk out of there drained.  We all use or used for a reason, basically to escape reality, well, now i am in the learning stages of coping.  The only way  i know how to cope is to take a pill so i really look forward to embracing life and see what its all about clean and sober.  YES, its scary, but its a fact of life.  

[Dane74]

Hi Vicki, i know i was in shock that she said she will go with me, she wanted me to go today and i told her i m am too chicken poop to walk in a room filled with people, another issue i have among the many.  But, she made it clear that this is beneficial for my recover and she knows i wont go alone at first, but made it clear that we cannot be friends as it is to detrimental to the therapeutic process so she  won't cross those boundaries, sad becasue i really like her.  Leave it to me that i want to be friends with the shrink... We are the same person from the same mold but i get it, but as you know the truth hurts at times.
   Yesterday was just a day from down under and who knows why, i did take Klonopin i was so anxious all day and came home after dinner and had some wine to unwind a bit, it did help. So, hopefully today is a better day, i am just so blahhhh, and now im freaking out over Monday going to AA.  Im confused with AA and NA?  Why AA, shrink says i will like the place she is taking me too and there are people there like me, but im not an alcoholic. Thank God, i have enough issues to deal with.  

And Vicki, i wish you could take me, you would kick my a$$ through the door and say sit down and listen!!!!!   XOXOOX

[atthebeach]

hi dana,
that is great your therapist will go with you. sometimes it is good to have that arm to lean on. that will be a huge step for you. as i said the other day if you see someone you know, they are also there for help and the meetings are confidential.
please keep your head up. GOD loves you. you are moving forward in the right direction. you are healing. HE is faithful to sustain you.
sending hugs and prayers
debbie

[vicki595]

She said she'd go with you???  WOW!!  That's great!
You'll be fine. You walk in and folks are gathered around...everyone says hello and welcomes you here and there...it's very casual and laid back from my experience...
Another story...years ago, one of my Uncles had to go to AA. He was getting older,pissed off,couldn't drive there(no license for a few months)...not happy! He was,also, in the early stages of Alzheimer's...

We arrived at the meeting place and folks started coming up to him with warm greetings,"Great to see you", etc...and he was so happy to see so many "friends"!!  He felt right at home (and invited everyone back to the house for a beer!!  UGH!!!)  He thought they all knew him and he felt like the Mayor!!      My point is...I had to drag him kicking and screaming and after that he was dragging ME!!  It was all good...I've been several times more recently(in my home town) and it's still the same!!

Don't worry!!   If we lived closer...I'd go with you!!

How are you today?

[Dane74]

Hi gnarly, thank you for asking, i am hanging in there, going one day at a time, somedays i cant wait for it to be over, this way that is just another day i made clean.  Waiting patiently for the AD med to kick in, the emotions are all over the board.  I reached out to my addiction specialist via email she told me anytime i can, and she is going to take me to a AA meeting on Monday.  I am scared as poop to go through those doors, and i wont go alone, so she says i need to go and is willing to take me, so i would be a fool if i gave up that opportunity.  I dont have a clue as to whats it all about and i hate the unknown, but hey thats "LIFE"   LOL
Thanks for the concern

[gnarly_1]

HOW  you doing tonight Dane//??

[Dane74]

Sara, I appreciate all that you did and still do for me, and sorry it consumes you, but put yourself first before others.  I know you care deeply i was just in a deep dark place back then and thought everyone and everything was out to get me, i now see that you only wanted the best for me, and i so appreciate that.  Never hold back your feeling to me, i need to hear it loud and clear....