Life's decisions and what they mean to those around us.

[MethMan]

I can't speak for others, but for me, years of methadone addiction and the disease helped me become a very selfish individual.
With every day getting better, it becomes clearer to me the vast amends I must make to family and friends alike.  Materialistic desires have but all vanished from my thoughts and are now being replaced with a desire to help repair emotional damage that I have caused without knowing until now.
The main benifactor of my relentless self pity and emotional wreckage was unfortunately my daughter as I was the only parent that was around to spend time with her. Mom was gone emotionally and physically most of the time so we went through life together.
Her undying love for her Dad and was shaken when after a car wreck, I was airlifted to the hospital and given Nubain.  Since I was an opiate addict, detox occurred almost immediately and I began to yell and move uncontrollably.  From the waiting room, my daughter heard me and ran back to see what the problem was only to encounter an ER doctor reviewing my chart and finally reading that I was on methadone.  When she asked what was wrong, he yelled, "Your Dad is nothing more than an Addict.". Even in as rough a shape as I was, I still remember her face.
Forgiveness is easily attained simply by asking but the emotional pain and suffering of those around us could take years to repair if at all.
Most of us here have found a way to get back our lives.  But what about those victims we left in our paths?  Do they not deserve the same dedication and time we spend on ourselves?

God Bless,
Mike

[MethMan]

The deer meat I can handle. The grits... well, you've had grits haven't you?  
Peace my brother,
Mike

[CATUF]

Sometimes I think I've got it tough.

Sometimes I pray to God to help me completely out of the mess I got myself into with hydro, thinking I just want to get my life back and have the hydro use as nothing but a distant and hard to fathom memory.

This weekend some folks I know found their high school aged daughter dead in her bed.  She had been in an accident several years ago, with a lot of facial damage.  Apparently, there was some undetected opening into her skull from her sinuses and what would have otherwise been a minor infection killed her without warning.

So right now I'm thinking I'm very lucky and I need to stop all the whining I do (even if it's only to myself).  I may have made a mess of things, but all the pieces were left more-or-less within reach.  All I need to do is pick them up and hold them in place until the glue dries.

I don't know what I'd do if one of my 4 kids was snatched from me --  I don't think they make the type of glue needed to fix that.

CATUF
@51

[MethMan]

I'm with you Catuf.  I think both of us have it made compared to some of the stuff others are dealing with on a daily basis.  It's quite humbling to realize that I got away with a lot and am pretty much unscathed.  There are people here that have to deal with the pain for a lifetime. And here I find myself whining about my withdrawal symptoms.
There's an old saying I like. "There's no such thing as a normal life.  There's just life.  Get on with living it."

Another favorite of mine (which has nothing to do with this thread) is from Mark Twain.
"Clothes make the man.  Naked people have no influence in society."

For what it's worth...

All the best,
Mike

[southernbelle]

hi catuf.  your post sounded eerie to me.  i just found out yesterday that a very very close family/childhood friend died.  he was the picture of perfect health...tall, handsome, health conscious---he had a brain aneurysm, all of a sudden -- he just slumped over and died right next to his sweet wife.  it is breaking my heart.  he will be missed so much.  we grew up together.  and i mean grew up together.  he was practically my brother.  sometimes i can't stand myself for being so wretched.  here i am with this addiction that i'm really afraid to face.  and right now, his mom is sedated and is grieving so much she can't talk.  sometimes i don't like this world too much.  it's too much to take.  guess that's why i slip and take these pills...it just helps me cope, i guess.

[groovygirl]

We call a truce, and then you find out my personal email address and email me there...when I ask how did you get this address, you lie and say medhelp gave it to you.  When I ask you again where you got it, you conveniently stay quiet.  Why are you doing this?  Why do you lie?  I had said NOTHING on the new forum to warrant your post to me...you immediately assumed I needed a detailed list of the rules from you.  You set me up to fail there, as we had already been fighting here and I went there to basically escape from you.  If I had known you were there, I would never have accepted Michael's invitation.  

You asked when you crossed way over the appropriate boundaries into my PERSONAL email if I wanted you to stop posting here...that I could have this forum and you could have the other.  My answer is yes...please.  Please let me try to have peace here...I am really trying.

[bmac]

Not to be rude or start anything with you but mrmichael isn't the ******* you make him out to be.If it wasn't for him dragging me out of my fog I would have been dead weeks ago.believe me.
All of this is starting to sound way to familiar doesn't it.
You have always been kind to me and I have no reason to flame you BUT please try and understand he is very good people.
As for the other forum,it is great.No BS no rudeness only a helpful bunch of people communicating with each other.I know Mariposa came there and didn't make it there but that wasn't my fault it was hers.I only repeated the rules to her when she started her usual flaming.(And Mariposa don't start again please).It's the truth.As I said hellbent, mrmichael isn't an ******* or whatever you think.He is a very caring and informed
man.Sincerly,bmac