Living a life second to his drug choice....

[casper_47]

I am living a life second to the drug of Opiates..Wife of a user..Wow for life?  I don't think I want to finish the rest of my life with his addiction.. If he goes back to it again I am done... suboxone for 3 weeks and 5 NA meetings...
He too has real pains... He seems high like he did when he was taking opiates by his eyes.. One half open rubbing his chin and lips.. like he did when he was high.. We talk nothing about his meetings and his thoughts... I try by saying how was the meeting he will respond with I dont know got a key chain or a book.. some phone numbers... but the book still sits on the table  Ive not seen him on the phone.. He has said things like yea I need to find ways to stay off drugs but thats about it... I am sorry if I dont believe like you said its been 30 years of tomarrow tonight baby maybe next weeK I just started to live my life for me... And came back for this.. now I am scared that this may not be enough and will continue living my life as his second choice..Hope has run out of my heart... I want to believe more than anything that he can get and Stay CLEAN.. glad to hear from you again..~♥~ Casper

[gizzy32]

you have every right to feel the way you do. i would be full of doubt too after all this time, but he has shown signs of improvement, the meetings are great and i hope he got as much out of them as i did. it still sounds like he is struggling and not overly enthusiastic about staying clean, but it's still early. you have been patient all these years, i say see how it goes over the next month with the suboxone and meetings and only you can judge if he wants this or not. this is his last chance, i hope he knows that. i think your being as supportive as a person can be.

[cocobeanlisa]

It sounds like you really really love your husband, hold on
for a little while longer.  After your first post I asked my DR
why they would put him?someone on a high dose for to
begin with.  He explained to me that when a person uses
for a long time it's best to start at a high dose so they do\not crave their DOC
(drug of choice)  than they bring the person down slowly, this gives the
mind and body a chance to adjust to the change.  At first he might seem
high on the suboxone (this weill chaneg soon) and meetings might be
a little hard for him to understand right now..As long as the DR drops
his dose in about a week I would not worry yet.  Once his dose is lowered
and he doesn't make meetings than get on his As$ and tell him if he doesnt
start meetings and get a sponsor he's out of the house..and stick with it.

You have held in there for 30 years so please do not give up yet.
I know for me that suboxone allowed me to get sober/clean
without the cravings and I was able to go to meetings and such.
SO far I have stayed clean.  But it took me 3 to 4 months to get there.

So wait and see if he works the program once his dose is lowered.  any
questions please feel free to PM me.

cocobean