pillssuck20012

[pillssuck2012]

I have a crazy pill addiction and I need help. When I was younger I was told I had scoliosis. It had always bothered me but I was young and could deal with the minor pain. The addiction started 2 yrs ago when I slipped and fell off of a deck. Went to the ER and they said that I had bruised my tailbone and my lower back really bad. They gave me a script for 15 5/325mg percocet.  3 days later I followed up with my family Dr who prescribed 60 vicodin. Then another 40 vicodin a few weeks later.  I was hooked. :(  My Dr wouldn't give me any more when I asked for more after that.  God bless him!!  I should of stopped right there!! But I was still in sooooo much pain, so I went to a chiropractor a couple months later because I couldn't stand the pain any more.  The 3 times that I went there and he adjusted my back I left bawling my eyes out.  He then ordered a bone scan and MRI.  I had broke several vertebrae and several ribs according to the bone scan and MRI. The bones didn't heal right because nobody knew they were broken. I also was diagnosed with degenerative disc disease, which didn't have anything to do with the fall.  But the fall started to send shooting pains out into my shoulders and up my neck due to the degenerative disc disease. The pain was excruciating and I didn't want to go back to the chiropractor because it just made the pain worse.  He ended up sending me to pain management.  Biggest mistake of my life!!!!!!  The pain management Dr prescribed me 60 vicodin. (2 a day for 30 days)  I took them as prescribed for the first couple months. Then I started taking more and more up to 4-6 a day because as we all know you end up building up a tolerance.   I eventually told him that I need something stronger. So he switched me to percocet 5/325mg (2 a day for 30 days).   Again I started taking them as prescribed for the first few months.  The percocet made the pain go away for about 3 hrs at a time.  So I started taking them every 3 hrs instead of every 12 hrs.  I was taking up to 5 of them a day.  Obviously I ran out before my next appt. so I started buying them off of a friend, who got them from a friend, etc.  Now I was taking 10-15 of them a freakin day!!!!!!  WTF???  I was spending over $1,000 a month on these stupid things!!  When I couldn't find any or ran out I would go through the crazy withdrawl. (sweating, restless legs, absolutely no sleep, crapping my brains out up to 20+ times a day....that's gross I know but everyone on here knows what I'm talking about, mood swings, depression, etc.)  Every time I would go through that for a couple days, before I could get more, I promised myself I would quit doing this to myself!!  But as soon as I got that call or text I would run out immediately and get more.  I got so sick of all of this s**t I ended up calling my family Dr and told him what was going on. I asked him if he could put me on suboxone, cause I heard that helps with the withdrawl.  Apparently he couldn't prescribe suboxone.  You'll never guess what he did......he gave me more PILLS!!!  40 vicodin......Really???  I tell you I have an addiction to pain pills and you give me more?!?!?!  Anyways, I was supposed to ween myself off of them (4 for 4 days, 3 for 4 days, 2 for 4 days, 1 for 4 days and then stop)  Easier said than done!!  But I did well and I took the pills like I was suppose to.  Until the last day.......My boyfriend is also in pain management for a herniated disc.  He gets 120 10mg percocets a month.  He got them the last day of me weening off of them. So, I started taking the percocet again of course because I have no will power....up to 5-10 10's a day.  When I can't get percocet I can usually find vicodin.  I go back and forth between the two. I can't do this any more!!  I have decided that I am completely fed up with this and I want to stop!!  I have vicodin left that I am going to try and ween myself off again instead of going cold turkey cause that is absolute HELL!!!!  My boyfriend is going to quit cold turkey.  We promised each other that we wouldn't go back to pain management to get any more or try to find any more on the "street."  I hope and pray that this works!!!  Wish me luck!!  And good luck to all of u!!  PILLS ARE THE DEVIL!!!!  I HATE THEM!!!!

[overopiates]

Congrats on ur decision.Ur dr gave u those to taper and quit.he had the best intentions.What u need to do is call ur drs tell them ur quitting and get them2call u n some meds that will help tremendously w/ur w/d.I and many others took clonidine its a blood pressure med but used for opiate w/d too and they help w/lots of the w/d.Also if u dnt have any ask for a small supply of a lomg acting benzo(take for only a week and the smallest amount to keep ur anxiety controlled).Also something for nausea phingren would b ideal.A sleep aid but I would go w/otc on that.Also if u or he has a problem w/rls im sure they can prescribe something for that.There r otc meds for most of this stuff too.Just b honest tell them ur quitting and need these meds(they will give u small scripts)Ive never heard of a dr saying no.They r happy when people quit.Also NAME BRAND NOT GENERIC IMMODIUM.It works way better,take2or3X's the dose when u need it.that also helps with other stmptoms(the name brand if ur intersted n the details of that google it).These r what I took&tylenol p.m.&excedrin.I found this site days n2my cold turkey from up2-150mg of lortab a day.Ur scaring urself about w/d dnt.Especially if u can get these items from the dr it cut my w/d pain by@least50-60%.Also its only 4days of bad w/d.It gets bad as n the worst@day3by mid2late day4 u will start to notice a huge change.MAKE SURE U GET AFTERCARE AND FOLLOW THROUGH

[Envyab30]

Well first if all the reason that doctor called in those pills is because he's still ur PCP& he was trying to help you that's why he had the whene schedule on there also doctor cannot call in the subtoxne , you have to be sent to a Rehab in-patient or out-patient oh and alot of insurances don't pay for it& if they do it like only 35%, goodluck

[pillssuck2012]

You have given me hope that this can be done!!  I thank you so much for that!!  Especially since you did it with a 19 month old and a 6 month old.  I have a 7 year old and an 11 year old.  My kids are the reason why I'm tapering.  I've been "sick" a lot lately when I run out of pills and I don't want them to worry about me being "sick" again.  They are going back to school soon so I figure if I taper now by the time they are back in school and the bad withdrawal hits I can lay around all day without having to have any responsibilities throughout the day, until they get home of course.  Thank you again for giving me hope that this can be done!!  Congratulations on 11 days and feeling great!!!   I can't wait to get there.  

[pillssuck2012]

Thank you for your suggestions!  I really appreciate it.  I am going to stock up on supplies for the Thomas Recipe.  We have cut off all sources to getting pills and have agreed to do this together!!  I'm on day 3 of tapering....took 4 for the last 2 days and it has been pretty rough.  Not as rough as cold turkey though.  But for the next 2 days I will take 3, then 2 for 2 days, then 1 for 2 days and then I am completely done!!!!  The reason I decided to taper is because I have 2 kids that need me and they are my life.  I am a stay @ home mom right now and I can't deal with the withdrawal and take care of my kids.  They are 7 and 11 so they can do a lot for themselves but I still have to be a mom.  

[ready4mylifeback]

first great thing is u realize it is a problem and u want to quit so YES u can do it.. both me and my husband were addicted and we quit together.. it is hard for 2 addicts to be together and some say it can't be done but we have been married 9 yrs and are clean so it CAN be done.. however it is hard.. there have been a couple times where either him or i needed a short script for a surgery or something and then the other wanted some so u BOTH HAVE to be on the same page and both REALLY want to quit.. if u do this can be done and successful.. find some type of support group na/ church function something... aftercare is really important.. the cravings will come during and after your detox but they get less and less... if you have no will power i would suggest ct yeah it stinks and is uncomfortable but w tapering the minute u get uncomfortable u r gonna take as many as u need to be comfy i am the same way no way can i taper.. it can be done and people have done it it is a individual choice.. review and get the things fromt he thomas recipe they really do help... i know i stayed on pills a extra couple months ONLY for fear of the w d and most people do.. it was such a HUGE burden i thought of it all day every day and could have stopped months before i did had i not feared it so bad.. it really was not that bad.. i did it w having to take care of a 19 mo old and a 6 mo old:) it CAN be done and YOU can do it the main thing is gonna be if you and your bf are on the same page and you REALLY want this.. but u have to quit sometime and the longer u stay on them the more time you are wasting the more danger you are putting your life in and the harder to get off them.. hunker down and just tell yourself ur gonna have the flu for a week.. i told my husband we could not hold anything against each other while we were detoxing.. he is real lovey dovey and i am too when clean but not while detoxing so i slept ont he couch for a week and he was ok w that because now we have a better than ever relationship there is life after pills and it is GREAT.. i just kept thinking of all the positive things being tired of the rat race and so on... now this was over 3 yrs ago we got clean.. i had to have a surgery a few months ago and was on pills (only needed them for a couple weeks max) like i said i felt my body hooked and was scared to detox again so i kept on for another 2 months just from fear HOW DUMB... these pills will NOT win if you don't let them.. i have lost count but think i am at about day 11 or so and feeling GREAT i have all my emotions back i feel fantastic:) keep posting as much as u need to get your bf involved on here if he isnt already and CUT OFF ALL resourses to get pills otherwise as soon as u feel bad u will get more.. it is very important to tell ur dr etc.. prayers are w you.. i hope 2 more can reclaim their life and get off these!!!!

[pillssuck2012]

The reason I asked him to stop with me is because if I know he has gone to the dr and I know he got a refill than it just makes me want it more!!  We have sat down and talked about if for the last couple days and agreed to cancel our upcoming appts and delete all of our "contacts" out of our phones.  (which we did together)  I explained how important this was to me.  So I'm hoping we love each other enough to get through this and move on with our lives.  If not then it will probably be over.  I have prepared myself for the worst but I'm hoping for the best!!  Before when I tried to do this, I didn't think knowing that he had them would drive me sooooooo crazy!  But it did and I cracked and searched my house until I found them.  I figure if I don't have access to them it will make things easier for me.  He doesn't take them like I do.....not that I know of anyways.  He can go days without them and be just fine.  Me, not so much....I can't even function!!  

[Sonrissa]

Hi there and welcome! I agree with IBKleen. It is going to be very difficult for both of you to taper and ween together! It can, and probably will turn messy, as you both go through withdrawals and the physical and emotional symptoms will be all over the place! Sitting down and coming up with a plan, is critical! You will need to cut off all sources of getting pills! Check out the Thomas Recipe at the bottom of the page and stock up on supplies to help with the physical symptoms! Hydration, Immodium, and activity are keys to success!

I wish you both the very best! Keep posting for support and advice! Lots of people here have experience and will offer support! Take care!

[IBKleen]

Certainly weaning would be easier but it will near impossible for the both of you to do together. It is not easy and if you are going to get clean then you want to set yourself up to succeed. Like I said, two people trying to get clean is very hard. I doubt you will lean on each other and I am sorry to say that. I am just trying to be truthful. Withdrawal is not some lovey huggy thing that you do. After a week of tapering you will probably both want to rip each other's heads off. No joke.

You need to decide which way to go and get a plan that you think you can stick to. I won't advise either way with the cold turkey or the taper. I don't know your situation or your medical history.

I hope you stick around here and listen to the members. There is great support here so be patient as members come on and will post to you.

I really do wish you both the best.

[pillssuck2012]

I'm not sure what the poll is either.  It wouldn't let me go on to post this without selecting some type of poll.  I'm sure there was a way around it but I'm not very computer savvy.

Do you think I should go cold turkey??  By lowering the dose everyday will I still go through the crazy, awful withdrawal when I'm done?  I've heard and read that weaning is the safest method.  That way your body doesn't shut down completely.   I DON'T have any will power that's why I asked him to do this with me.  I think it will be easier if we do it together.  We can lean on each other for help that way. (that's what I was thinking anyway)  Nobody else knows but him and I don't want anybody else to know.  Especially my family!!  Thank you for the support!!

[IBKleen]

Hi & Welcome,

I don't have a clue as to what the poll  means????

Weaning is surely a way to go but understand it is difficult because as you start to go down in doses the withdrawal will set in and the temptation is great to take more. Also know that one person in withdrawal is hard enough, two is even harder. You even said you have no will power. Well, none of us do that is why we are here.

I can't recommend which method the two of you should use. that will be up to you. We can support you here and maybe even make some recommendations to help ease the process a bit.

Let us know what you decide and best of luck to you.