Mad at the world

[Butterflyskull]

I am so angry sometimes. It's like I get mad with anyone who is happy. I have been clean almost a month and used for almost a year, started with hydrocodon then all the way up to Roxys or morphine.  Whatever I could snort. Physical WD is over but I'm struggling with convincening myself I can go back to just hydrocodon~ any advice???????  

[Butterflyskull]

Wow, thanks so much for your responses.  No I do not have any aftercare. It's all I can do to get to an from work as I lost my DL's due to a DUI.  Wi h is when I started using pain killers. I took it as far as going to work at a crappy restaurant do that the meds would be more available. I do t get why for the first few weeks I was do convinced I would never take another pain killer again. & not just take them but snort everyone. And now I keep fighting myself telling my brain you can't have hydrocodon.   I had taken them before for ciatica & no prob. But when I lost my job I snorted my first perk & it was like my new boyfriend.  Sad.... So sad.

[Pat1956100]

Ron is right.  You will be right back where you started.  You have to accept that you are an addict and cannot control your pill use.
Are you doing any aftercare?  It may help to find out why you abused pills the way you did.  I know how hard it is to be happy without the pills but I also know how miserable they ended up making me.  I did relapse alot and just ended up quickly back in that big black hole of addiction.
Fight girl.  You're worth it,

[innocencelost]

I understand the frustration you are feeling, and the longing to be happy. I trust you already know that pills offer only fleeting and inauthentic happiness, and these come at an enormous cost to our minds and bodies. Stay the course, exercise really, really helps. I hope that you have someone you can talk to about your feelings and are hooking up with some aftercare. You are not alone. Keep posting here to vent your anger and other feelings that come up. You have already come so far.

[Norco1947]

Hi , Don't give up . you have been fighting 30 days , It maybe a few more days to get over the hump. Our brain & body take time to heal . But you will recover just keep fighting . NO to hydrocodon you will be right back were you were .... This detox can be done , try to stay strong and hate the pills not the people . Post for more support , were here for you ... Ron