Day 5 off Hydro - a little freaked out

[okcookie]

So, I have a long history of opiate abuse. Over two years ago I quit a heavy hydrocodone addiction (100+ mg daily for months) c/t and went through absolute hell. I joined AA (N/A freaked me out and the local AA group allowed me to join despite not being an alcoholic,) went to meetings daily, and got my life back on track. I managed to stay away from the narcotics for years, up until last winter when I found myself going through a hard time emotionally. My doctor knows about my addiction, so suffice it to say I didn't get the pills from him... or any legit source.

At my recent peak I was back up to about 100 mg daily, whether it was hydro, oxy or some combination. I lowered my dose a little, to around 40-60 mg daily, and then realized it's time to quit. School starts for me on September 2, and I don't want to go through w/d during school. So, 5 days ago I stopped taking the pills... but, I needed to pack and move into a new apartment this past Saturday, so I picked up 3 more 10 mg pills on Friday. I took 15 mg Friday to pack and 15 mg Saturday to move. So, in the past 5 days I've taken a total of 30 mg.

I can feel the effects of w/d now, very similar to last time but not as bad. I'm afraid to go to my Dr. because... well, I don't really know... shame, I suppose. Last time he put me on clonidine, and I remember it really helping. I am on klonopin, but ran out yesterday... my Dr. just called in a refill today and I'm expecting it to help.

I have all the usual symptoms of w/d: the runs, sweats, rapid heartbeat, lack of interest, mild insomnia, mild restless leg. It's really not as bad as last time, actually... it does help that I don't have any real obligations until the 27th when orientation starts, so I still have 9 days left to go through w/d.

I am getting some exercise and taking L-Glutamine, Valerian, Melatonin, Lunesta, Klonopin, and Immodium AD. I just want the awful sweating to stop and the runs to go away... and to be able to sleep.

I feel anti-social... the opiates made me so bouncy and interested, hyper and involved, and very, very social. I found myself witty and humorous when I took them. I met so many people and made lots of friends during my time on them, and now I'm afraid that I'll lose people because I'm different... because I'm withdrawn, uninterested, and boring.

I know day 5 is a tough one, and it does get better, and I feel like I've learned a lesson when it comes to the pills.

I just want it to stop and get better. I suppose I just needed to share. Any thoughts would be really appreciated.

[okcookie]

Thanks so much everyone! I did pickup my klonopin rx and it really is helping, though I have to take 1 mg to really calm down. I'm actually a rock climber, and I went to the indoor rock gym and did some climbing this afternoon and now I feel great! Exercise is really the best!

Exercise beats drugs hands down.

Only problem now is the runs... Immodium helps, but I don't want to be constipated, so I'm just letting it rip... eww... sorry :-)

[enemy48]

Ok, youtube is fun on the computer.

As for appetite, mine wasn't too bad, but for some reason I could woof down sweets, and i never eat sweets.......ever!  Maybe try some chocolate.

Hope the rx helps too.

[dominosarah]

Exercise and vitamins do wonders.  Keep going forward.  Each day gets better.  Stay strong          sara

[okcookie]

Hey, and thanks for the quick post! I kinda want to be alone, and it does help not having anyone around, but at the same time I enjoy people's company - I had my woman friend over Saturday night as the very first stages of w/d were starting to hit.. again... I mean, I went through it starting on the 13th and then having taken the 3 tabs, it started to hit again Saturday night, but it was alright... good, actually... time went by fast.

My appetite is pretty messed up - I'm not hungry at all, but I'm making myself eat anyway. I've managed to eat eggs and a sandwich so far today.

Sadly, I don't have TV yet... so, I've been watching stuff on my computer.

I think I just need exercise and Klonopin, and I'll feel better. I'm gonna go pick up my rx now, and see if that makes a difference today.

Thanks again!

[mimi1313]

Hi,

I think you have more of a personality than you think. I know it seems like we are more exciting when we are using but you can be happy and sociable without it. Right now you are just down without the drugs. I always say this but you can ask others, the best thing for you to do is exercise a little. I know it ***** but it will help you make natural endorphins again. Just eat right, take vitamins(double the multi) and let your body heal.

You're doing the right thing. And it will get better.

Melissa

[enemy48]

Well I hope no one shoots me for saying this, but I think it was a good idea to get a couple to help you pack & move.  I know I could NOT have done that in withdrawals!

I sounds like you just want to be alone right now, and time is passing slow, like the hands on the clock don't move.

Why not try to find a great movie.  I stayed glued to the TV, as I found it made time go by and kept my mind off of the depression.

You didn't mention your appetite?  Is that okay?  Make some popcorn or ice cream to go along w/that movie!