You know we always say aftercare is mandatory in STAYING clean.
I'm with jifmoc on this one. You can call it "aftercare" but I call it freedom.
In other words, the real gift of recovery for me was being told I can't keep it without giving it away. I still marvel at the irony: the treatment for my disease brings me a quality of life I never dreamed I would have. I really and truly am grateful to be an addict.
In other words, that void you are feeling is there for a reason. Some call it a "God shaped hole." I used to fill it with drugs, food, shopping...you name it. Now, when I feel it, I know that it is a gentle reminder to stop thinking about myself, and get moving toward my new healthy goal: find another addict who still suffers. Buy them coffee. Lend a real ear. Offer to clean up, to give somebody new my phone number...anything other than revisit my self-centered fear.
I had a friend in Alanon once who had the best solution ever to dealing with that emptiness. She told me, "go find someone, and do something kind for them. If anyone finds out, it doesn't count, and you need to try again."
Keep that up and it's all but impossible to feel sad and alone.
Thanks for your post. It's helping keep me in recovery.
been in your same spot and I fixed it by taking vitamins and two advil just like I did on the norcos so when I wake up I shower get my coffee toss a few vitamins and the two advil then just like before at lunch the same thing and when I get home two vitamins and a beer ( or soda ) or ? but that works for me best wishes.
No offense but I would not recommend advil if you don't have pain and I certainly would not recommend a nightly beer. That has been proven for decades: start up w/ another substance, and you are right back to where you started. The point is living life w/o numbing ourselves. We've numbed enough.
First off, a MAJOR congrats on 24 days!!!! If you put 24 days on a scale and 15 yrs on the other side...it is totally understandable why you feel a void right now, huh? We have to form NEW habits to replace the old ones. And you know that old saying that it takes 21 days of REPETITIVELY doing something to form a habit?
We have to actually UN-learn and RE-learn. I like to use swiss cheese for a crazy analogy. If we take the addiction/pills away....it leaves holes and we have to FILL those holes with NEW healthy things or we will pull apart very easily. Stress hits....and most addicts want "chemical relief" of some kind.
My personal belief is that humans are made up of 3 parts: physical, mental and spiritual. When I was using narcotic pain meds, I was numbing all 3 of those parts of me. We get thru the worst of the physical...then comes the mental (thinking) habits we have to change. And after I quit using....MAN did my spirit wake up. I was totally starving myself....and I needed and craved spiritual food.
Everybody fills the holes in their own individual ways. Many choose to surround themselves with other recovering addicts and work the steps which heal us in SO many ways. Others go to groups...CBT, Smart Recovery, outpatient recovery groups, etc. Some start with a therapist and do some counseling. Some choose to meditate....and learn to get in touch with their spirit. I began reading a daily meditation book FIRST thing every single morning to direct my heart and my mind....kinda sets my thinking in a new direction and teaches me new ways to live w/o substances.
If we take something away.....we have to replace it with something healthy. Helping another person is one of the quickest ways to take our minds off ourselves....and it REALLY feels good. It actually helps us more than the other person we are extending our help to. No matter where we are in our recovery, there is ALWAYS someone ahead of us, or behind us....someone to learn from....and someone that may learn from us.
As you are finding out after using for 15 yrs.....a vacuum has been created. I hope you will find some healthy ways to fill it....so it doesn't s*ck you back in. So glad you posted and are sharing~