Methadone and benzo withdrawal COLD TURKEY

[GeneralDexter]

   So today is now 78days off methadone and having had a benzo habit a long side it has BEEN a living nightmare. I had been going to the methadone clinic for about 3yrs and had gone up to a dose of 180mgs. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I ended up tapering down to 47mgs before tightening up my boot straps and running from the clinic as fast as I could. I had been taking klonopin 2mg tablets along side my daily dose of methadone. I ended up in the hospital twice from my withdrawals. The first er visit was just a embarrassing nightmare where they just offered more methadone to which I refused. I ended up going to another er about 2days after the first er visit where they gave me IV fluids and fenergan. I was such a wreck! I forgot to mention to the er that I had been detoxing from benzos. I tapered myself from the benzos down to 0 in about a week. It has been one hell of a ride that is for sure! I am still not sleeping like I would like and my anxiety is still through the roof. I lack energy and motivation to do day to day things. I will admit it is better then my first week or two in withdrawal and gets better weekly. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about methadone. The part that is pure insanity is the thought of going back on which is the last thing I would do! That thought is very real and I am just looking forward to my 90days free from the liquid hand cuffs. From what I have read from other people 3months is a real turning point in detox from methadone. If anyone is reading this thinking of going on methadone I URGE you to please reconsider it just puts your opiate dependency on pause. EVENTUALLY you will go through the withdrawals. For quitting benzos cold turkey PLEASE don't you need medical help for benzos most definitely. I really hope there is light at the end of all this for me. Going to the depths of hell is not a place I ever want to be again. I have had no methadone or opiates of any kind in 78days! I have slipped on my benzos taking a .5ativan which I feel horrible about taking. *only took .5 ativan after 3weeks no benzo I opted for a really really low dose compaired to what I was taking. Then went another week and took another but definitely not every day! I am trying to not to be to hard on myself but its very hard. My ultimate goal is to be 100% non dependent. If anyone has kicked benzos and methadone I would really appreciate know how you feel today? Do you feel back to your normal self? Are you getting sleep? I pray for everyone struggling now and in the future. GOD BLESS

[GeneralDexter]

Thanks for your post 130days is amazing! I need to work on forcing myself out been really hard for me.

[digger1976]

Hello my friend, first off, congratulations on everything, you put up the fight off your life, and you still are! You should be so very proud of yourself, 78 days is amazing. I didn't jump from methadone I swapped to Subs, the detox's are very very similar though. I too had a big habit with Valium, so I jumped from both, I dropped the Valium a little earlier so the subs could pull me through the worst of it but it was still horrendous. I'm on 130 days I think, I don't like to keep check as it makes me think about it more. I still have problems with anxiety but it's coming in waves now, it's there every day but most days are manageable, the bad days usually come when I don't sleep well. My sleep has improved significantly the last few weeks, I get about 6/7 hours a day now, I can cope with that, but the bad nights still come and go. I've just started to eat healthy again as I miss the benefits you gain from it, I was in a slump and eating crap everyday, especially at night. I still drink coffee so maybe I should drop that too. I exercise daily, for at least an hour, it gives you a big boost so you should try and push yourself with it. I know only to well about the lack of motivation, it ***** for real. I find once I get of my arse and push myself I feel so much better. It does suck though, I can truly understand where your coming from, it's not nice! I did feel a big turnaround at 3 month, so you can look forward to that. The best thing I can suggest is to ignore others experience and times and go with how you feel, we are all different. I planed on this taking a year at the start, the good news is every quarter will feel easier and pass quicker for us.

I'm sorry your finding the going rough, it does get better, I promise you that! Keep up the awesome work, you'll be feeling better before you know it! Well done!

[annibelle48]

Thanks so much!!! I'll pray for you too... Yes, a year is a little daunting, but taken one day at a time, it's doable. I'm just glad to be on the healing side and not still using.... I feel so free. I do have happiness whereas I had none before. Every day clean is another day closer to complete healing. I'm in for the long haul.... I'm glad you're with me:)

[GeneralDexter]

Thank you for sharing your experience. 39days is amazing! I have been drinking camomile tea and taking Valerian tablets in the beginning of my detox. I think i shall have a cup tonight. The whole year thing for our brains to get back together scares the hell out of me! I am not sure what my deal is I just find everyday extremely hard to be satisfied with myself. I hope it doesn't take me a year to start feeling happy and sleeping! Keep up the good fight as I will do the same. Your in my prayers!

[annibelle48]

I had years of opiate and benzos... I am on day 39. I can not drink any caffeine at all (use to drink a pot of coffee/day). I can not take any decongestants (pseudofed) or any stimulant or I do not sleep. I still drink camomile tea at at least once during the day and in the evening. My body will not tolerate any stimulant... I sleep fairly well now... Once every 3 or 4 nights I have a night I wake up a lot but I go back to sleep. It will take up to a year for our brains to get back to "normal" from the benzo addiction and for our bodies to adjust. These chemicals are evil!!! You're well on you're way to recovery!! Keep it up, you're doing well