Hoping 3rd time really is a charm...

[persnick38]

This is my 3rd time back to this site and 3rd time trying to kick the hydrocodone habit. I haven't had one in 48 hours and am having serious cravings! My mood is beyond irritable and I feel like jumping out of my own skin - actually wish I could for a few days. I hate those little yellow pills and hate myself more for going back to them time and time again. I was sober from November 2008-February 2009 - longest period of sobriety I have had. I want to beat that this time and stay clean. Any advice, words of wisdom or support?????

[avisg]

Everyone's post on aftercare are right on the 3rd time can be the charm just make sure you have everything in place to help you get threw this ...Aftercare is really needed to make that happen.

[sway1]

this is going to be repetitive. sorry about that but it is soooo important. aftercare. you can't just get off the pills and expect to be all better. it just does not work that way. you have to make a conscious decision every single day to not use. then you have to get through that day. i was only truly clean once before. back then i went to a meeting everyday. when i stopped going to meetings, i relapsed. i went thgough getting clean and relapsing so many times in the last 3 years or so after about 11 years of using. i tried one on one therapy. but because i wasn't working a program, it was my evil twin in those sessions talking circles around a therapist who was trying to help me. i swore i would never go back to a 12 step program and made all sorts of mean jokes about how those people were just being brainwashed etc. what it was was i was scared.(alot of wases in this sentence) scared of having to do the work i knew in my heart was necessary to get and stay clean. it's not a free ride by any stretch of the imagination. i have to work just as hard for this as i did trying to stay high. and i worked very hard at staying high. some kind of service where it's not all about you. we have to get out of our own heads and do something for others. once we start giving, we find that we begin to receive. in the rooms of NA it is already set up so that this will occur if you follow what is said. there i go again preaching NA. i really didn't meant to. it's just that i have been a professional relapser for such a long time, and have tried everything else. my best wishes for you in your journey. peace, sway

[gizzy32]

May I ask what triggered you to go back to the pills? I hope your feeling better soon and put this behind you now. Your barely off them, so emotions will be flying high and it can be a nightmare at first, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there and stick around this time, we all need continued support. Are you willing to look into any type of aftercare? You can do this:) Good luck in your recovery.

[dominosarah]

Hi persnick....Nice to see you but not under these circumstances....  You know the wd's are the easy part as staying clean is the hard part.  What are you going to do differently this time?  Using is only a symptom of what is really going on......You got it in you to stop this insanity.  You deserve to be free of this........sara

[moonshyne777]

And in regards to the emotional stuff, that's the hardest part for sure. Led me to relapse twice too. That's why aftercare can really help. Also Check out the thomas recipe and amino acid protocol to help. Those protien shakes are supposed to help too. But find an NA meeting and go. I went to one tonight and feel so good about going back. I stopped going awhile ago when I relapsed and those ppl can really help keep you on the right track. Prayers coming your way and you can do this!! You ARE doing it!!

[moonshyne777]

Way to go! Keep up the good fight. Just curious if you got into any kind of aftercare? That could really stack the odds in your favor if you got some support. We can't do this alone and whether it be NA or a therapist or better yet both!! Getting to the root of your addiction and working a strong recovery program could make all the difference in the world. Hats off to you!

[persnick38]

Thanks. This time around, I seem to be struggling more emotionally than physically (still waiting for that part to kick in). I am so irritable and could cry at the drop of a hat. I have family in town this weekend and have graduation parties to go to. It's going to be so hard to put on a happy face, relax and at least pretend to have fun and be somewhat social.

[mo2000]

You can TOTALLY do this... you are already over the "hump"!!! Tomorrow, and maybe the next day will be the worst of it, and then it consistently gets better, although it still takes time!!

I was exactly where you are a week ago.  I feel dramatically different in that small amount of time!!  I am still fatigued sometimes, and a little chills, but it seems to be getting better every day!! You will have ups and downs for awhile, but you just have to keep reminding yourself that you DON'T want to have to go back to day 2 again, which will be the case if you decide to take anymore pills!! Why suffer for 48 hours just to have to do it again?? Asking myself that question is working for me!!