My 9th day in and idint do so well

[all_alone1]

Yeah I flushesd them down the toliet and thought I could do the CT thing but couldn't . My mom called me around 3 when I was crying and sent some pills over with my dad. I took 1/2 and felt great in in about 30mn and was able to function and take care of my kids make dinner and be ******* happy. Took another about 9 hours later had a long nite. Went to sleep at 6 this morning and was up at 10 to take my son to school by 11 was feeling as bad as yesturday so took another 1/2 and am feeling good and able to function. I know this is way less if I would of stuck to the taper I set but I still feel like a looser for not being able to handle the CT. I think I can haing with one pill every 24 hrs. And in the next day I am going to cut it down a bit and every few days after that. So even thought it isn't CT I will be of this **** soon that I havd previously set myself at which was about 2 months. I think in less than a month I will be free from this ****.

[Ashelen]

I really have to agree with ImDONE and donewitis....I really think that you should come clean to your mom (no pun intended) about what's going on with you.

Addictions flourish because of lies...addicts can't be addicts without a lie here or there...and until you tell your mom the truth there's always going to be that option in the back of your mind if you want more pills..and learning to be honest is part of a recovery for any addiction.

Good job on your taper! you're getting there!

[gnarly_1]

you go girl.....try to space the pills as far as possible apart and to do as little as possible  what your tring to do is to bring down the serum levle in your bloodstream so less in better and longer between doses the faster you can taper off the less painful it will be you dont want to draw this out any longer then necessary keep posting and let us know how it goes good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[all_alone1]

Hey gnarly I went to bed early last night. The little ones were out by 10 and so was I.  They woke up at 6 so I got about 8 hrs sleep. I guess I was too tired.only been getting 4 hrs sleep a night until last night. only took 1/2 a pill so far.

[gnarly_1]

hey girl havent seen you post all day how you feeling>?????

[all_alone1]

Yeah thank you gnarly........tapering I still had WD but I could handle them so much I guess is why I. Cut the pill intake in half in less than a week.  I took 1 1/2 yesterday and going to try to take ony one today. So far just the 1/2 I have taken feeling a little blah but I going to tale a little L-tysorine and b6.

[all_alone1]

Donewithits,......That is exactly what I was doing. I set the time and dose. And didn't go over the dose or under the time. But I started missing doses went from my 3 and 1/2 to 1 and 1/2-2 only so someone sugessted I go CT and throw my bottle down the toliet. Honnestly I thought I would be able to handle it. But I was sorrily mistaken.  It shouldn't take me long to taper of if what I am doing not I say a week or two. Much lower than my first time frame at 2 months.

[ImDONENoMore]

Gnarly is right - there is no easy way out.  But everybody needs to do what's right for them - but still learn from those who succeeded.  It's a balance.

But I am going to say something you probably won't like - and that is I think you should be telling your folks that you can't take the meds anymore because you think you could develop a problem with them and potentially abuse them.  If you tell them it's only because they make you sick, well you might be able to talk your way out of that excuse if you panic and try to call Mom for more pills.  I'm just saying.... telling them you had a problem would keep them from EVER giving them to you again.  And that's a good thing believe it or not - you're protecting yourself from, well, YOU.  At least I know early on it was that way for me.  I could no longer trust myself and had to make my problem known.  Or I could talk anybody into doing ANYTHING if I wanted to badly enough (not good).

But don't lose faith either - if you truly think you can taper, then go for it.  Just stick to a plan and don't lose sight of your ultimate goal.  :)

[gnarly_1]

HEY GIRL back to plan A.....well C/T is not for everybody it is the quick way to get this over with just know that tapering is not painless your irritable cranky have aches and pains and a lot of withdrawal symptoms but they will be milder but last longer so its more of a trade ....''there is no get out of jail free card'' each way has its pros and cons tapering works for a lot of our members most cant do it so they just C/T we will wok with you ether way this way seam to work better for you so be it the main thing here is eventually your going to get off of them I will be praying for you that God blesses you with a mild withdrawal just remember .....YOU CAN DO THIS ....good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[ricart70]

Thats why i didnt try taper because I wanted to get the physical and mental over right away just as I wanted to take pills to feel better right away.oops well not right away but in 20-30 min.close enough.

[ricart70]

Her mom is the one offering and providing her with pills-no script

[donewitis]

Here's my two cents:  Lies only get you in deeper.
Be honest; shame the devil. (old Irish expression)
You have caring parents who only want you to be well. That's their desire. Tapering is not for everyone. I did it and was clean in 7 days from oxycodone. I got a notebook..i wrote the date, time and dosage..and kept exactly to that schedule. I wanted it more than I wanted breath..I was willing to do whatever it took to get these out of my system. Calling my Dr...(getting rid of my source), flushing..and getting to a meeting. Surrendering, accepting that I would be in pain. maybe if your parents were aware they could help you with childcare while you go through the w/d. In all honesty..I believe that tapering does draw out the w/d's. It is  pysically the softer gentler way.but again..longer..especailly for me regarding the mental, emotional part. Tapering did not help with that.  If I didn't have health problems I'm sure the people here who advised me to taper would have told me to go c/t.
Wishing you good health.

[all_alone1]

Thank you ricart70 I will call her when I feel more ready. And thank you innerstrenght67 and you too ricart70 for understanding that tapering is working for me. I really need to hear that right now more than you know:-)

[Innerstrength67]

I also believe you have incredible strength to be able to taper. I couldn't do it. You can say the pills are making you sick and you really feel they are not helping. The reason why you feel so much better after taking one is because of the physical. Its stinks to feel so yucky and just knowing popping some pills will make you feel so much better.
You ultimately have to do what feels best for you. We are hear for you!
Remember addiction loves lies and secrecy. Just keeping posting your honest feelings here.

[ricart70]

You don't have to tell her today.I don't know about you but there are different times of the day when I feel more confident.I use those times to talk to people I don't want to or say things that need to be said that I sometimes don't have the courage to.

[all_alone1]

Yeah that is good to add that confirms the bad part. So it actually isn't a lie that makes me feel better.

[all_alone1]

I am going to have to tell her on the phone because I don't lie to her or anybody. So I hope she doesn't hear it in my voice

[ricart70]

That is a good plan.Tell her that they are damaging your liver and that your bloodwork came back bad.good idea! The part about the liver would not be a lie either

[all_alone1]

Yes I know I have to deal with her. She gave me enough to get through this taper.  And I guess I am going to have to tell her a little lie......I am going to say the Dr said that it is making me sick which. Is really the truth except for the dr. Part

[ricart70]

Well it does seem that you have a gift for tapering.I could never do that.Maybe when you do step off completely you can work it into a good time for you and not have much trouble.I f the half of a pill makes you feel good I would just stick to a half at a time.You are not a loser for sure so don't worry about that but meanwhile you could work on a solution for dealing with the access from your mom when you do step because it sounds way too tempting.