Does it end?

[cynicalslave]

Erratic mood swings with a steady bassline of depression. I was so happy the other day, now I feel like I'm in a slump and I can't get out. Like my peace of mind is washed away. I'm a month and a half clean. I thought I would be feeling a lot better by now. Does it really take a long time for nuerotransmitters to heal themselves?

[cynicalslave]

Thanks! I will go check that out. Hopefully get some answers.

[Florida_Guy737]

Read the PAWS info...there's tons of info in there.  I wouldn't recommend substituting anything for your depression unless you actually have too...beer, pot, etc?????  I'm almost a year clean and still have those ups and downs.  I found out that proper rest, exercise, diet, etc all help with getting the bod back together.  PAWS info states that the process can actually take up to 2 years to get everything back in order.  

You're doing very well at 1.5 months clean...stay the course and live strong.

[cynicalslave]

You should try turning your recipe into a bedtime tea. Who feels guilty about drinking tea? It's good for you. I would try that recipe but I'm going all straight-edge(I got ambien for my first two weeks clean and I'm pretty sure my head would have exploded without it) as I have already been addicted to everything you mentioned. I just get tired of always having a crutch. I used to get xanax when i was sixteen for anxiety, but I ended up eating it all in a couple days. Probably what got me interested in pharmacueticals to begin with. It's weird, you go from sugar to caffeine to cocaine. Gradually becoming dependant on substances for your sense of well-being. I think it's b/s, but I'm as hooked as anybody. Ha. Hit me with that joke whenever. It better make me cringe.  

[SmartYetStupid]

Beer, pot, 5-HTP and Xanax.

I call it the Kelly Recipe.

I'm doing it now and going to bed.  Day 11 over, day 12 and back to work tomorrow.  

Best of luck.. You can do this!

(I can also tell a mean and nasty joke if you want!)

[cynicalslave]

Thanks for the info everyone. I had about a year clean(chronic usage for about two years before that) up until seven months ago. I met this girl who got a bunch of free oxy(my DOC) every month plus had hook-ups. At the very least I would snort like 20 mgs a day but that was only if drugs were scarce. Most of the time I would eat a few, have a couple drinks, and then snort a couple so it would hit me good. I combined alcohol with them way more often than I'm proud to say(maybe why my appendix failed me?). Then I had my appendix removed(which I of course milked)which got me combining oxy,dilaudid,vic,canadian tylenol,alcohol etc. When all that ran out I found a hook-up for 30 mg morphine tabs. The last day I used I went all out. I ate 130 mgs of morphine with a couple beers. So yeah I definately have a problem. I definitely get out of control. Anyway, I don't get it. Today is a good day. I really hope tomorrow is. I would love to hear a joke. Smiles are precious and underestimated.  enufisenuf:Keep up the good work(and I will too). We are now quitting buddies. Thanks to everyone for the advice and support. I'm gonna buy some 5-htp and see how it works. And put my clothes in the dryer. But I guess that isn't really relevant. So I'm done.  


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[enufisenuf]

As you noted in an earlier post, we are on the exact same schedule...1st day clean was on the 17th of Nov...I think most think they are going to feel better than they do...it is such an accomplishment to get through the physical part, that we think it is going to be easy from there...but it is not so easy.  Once we feel OK, at least some mental emptiness creeps in...but I think it gets a little better each day...some days not so much, but generally better. I know I cannot go back and I think you know that too...we have done the hardest part, now just have to conquer the fewer and fewer bad moments...I know we can do it.  

[road2recovery]

Give us a little more like Ga guy said..And yes it takes time..ALSO u may be having PAWS, please look it up on this site , and know you are not alone...
r2r

[SmartYetStupid]

It does get better.  You are going to have mood swings.  I find that the Amino 5-HTP works wonders for the depression.  How long they last really depend on the person themselves.  

I'm on day ten and felt fine yesterday, yet cannot stop crying today.  I took on 5-HTP and 45 minutes later I felt waaaaay less depressed.  

Everyone's bodies are different, though.  It is used to fight depression, though.  

Head up!  You want me to make you laugh?  Sing a song? Do a little jig?  Tell a joke?  Stand on my head and sing the national anthem while kicking my legs in the air?

[GA Guy]

Short answer is yes, it takes time. What was your DOC and at what level for how long??