10+ years vicodin addiction

[10yrspain]

I have Chronic pain due to multiple health problems.  I am afraid that I will die from the Vicodin use.   I have been on it for more than ten years.  I use more than prescribed which causes me to run out at least a week before my next refill.  I suffer through the withdrawals only to start the process over.   Doctors said surgery not possible not possibe .How do I break the Vicodin addiction but still get some releif for my pain?

[NeverAgain127]

My doctor is of the opinion that MS is being WAY over-diagnosed these days.  What was the criteria used to determine that this is what you have?   MS is one of those weird diseases that can go into remission and never come back.  I have a good friend who is 50 and she has had MS since age 16.   She has had good years, bad years, but she keeps fighting the good fight.  

I also have used opiates for a long time (8 years; oxycodone) and for a legitimate medical reason.  In fact, now that I'm on day 12, the medical issues are coming back:  I have severe arthritis in my back, costochondritis (bad) and the worst one:  esophageal spasms.   I would not wish that last one on my worst enemy.  

It feels like I"m being shot thru the chest.  I've ended up in the ER so many times for this, before my doctor and I tweaked out a combo of scripts...one of them being opiates.  Problem is, it got harder and harder for me to stay at one level...I was always having issues with using too much...on a couple of occasions I had drug stores short my pills, and the I was tired of being looked at like some kind of out of control junkie w/no real legitimate medical issues.  

I'm ashamed and afraid too.   They tell you "3-5 days and it's all over." Maybe when you're 25 this is true, but I'm 52 y.o. and on day 12.  I feel like CRAP.  

Yesterday I HAD to attend a 3 hour meeting that was a 2 hour drive away.  And I didn't even do the driving; my husband did.  By the time we got home, I was sobbing and could barely walk. I have always been so high energy, and now I feel like I am 100 years old.

BUT.  BUT BUT BUT...my doctor and I talk several times a week.  He is my age and a wonderful guy (no huge ego like so many of them have.)  His exact words to me were "I think you are AWESOME for doing this.  I promise you this will get better.  You will be stronger, and live longer for doing this."  

I've been afraid of dying too.   The danger with your Vicodin, as I'm sure you know, is the Tylenol in it.  Don't drink alcohol EVER with Tylenol.  Have you doc run a liver panel on you; it's a huge organ and actually quite resilient.  

You have a LOT going on right now.   Dont' try and take on more than you can handle...have you considered talking to a therapist?  Just a few times even?  

Whatever you decide, know that you are a good person, you didn't ask for this, and there are literally millions of other people going thru the same thing.

Keep in touch...Namaste,  -R.

[ashamednafraid]

I am new to this forum; just turned 50 yrs old and also have an addiction to vicodin.  Started using it after a hysterectomy over 10 years ago and somehow managed to talk my obgyn into continually refilling scripts.  He had to cut me off 3 yrs ago because the gov't threatened his license.  Deep down inside I knew I should've quit right then but I managed to coerce my nurse practioner into writing them for pain management.  I guess I don't fit the profile of an abuser; a business professional.  I'm so ashamed and afraid of dying.  I was recently diagnosed with MS and I don't buy it.  I'm wondering if the long-term abuse could be the cause for some of the symptoms that lead to that diagnosis. I have itchy skin and know I should stop but I cant bear to. Neurologist wants me to start injections for MS and I have been blowing it off.  I want to crawl in a hole and die.

[Eebb26]

It's ok to b scared and only us here can understand one another. At least for me that's true. I'm currently tapering but it's still a battle everyday. Wish u lots of luck on the path u choose. Always write and there's someone to talk to :-)

[IBKleen]

You have a right to be scared. There is a physical side to addiction as well as a mental side. Once you get through the physical side, the mental takes over and your mind will play tricks on you. After 10 years of addiction you will need help with changing your behavior and changing your thinking. You will hear some members here talk about aftercare. That is any form of support you choose. Counseling, or a therapist, is certainly one way to go and if money is an issue you can attend NA/AA meetings which are free.

The trick with stopping your active addiction is to break the cycle. Some things you can do are to get honest with your doctor or call the pharmacist and cancel the prescription. Whatever you decide, YOU have to make the move. It's hard hun, I know but the benefits down the road far outweigh what you are going through right now.

[10yrspain]

I am really scared about the psychological addiction.  I can maintain through withdrawals,  as awful as they are, as long as I know I have that appointment coming up for my next script.

[IBKleen]

Hi,

You can either stop ct or ask your doctor for a proper taper plan. You will find a mixed bag of members here who have done both. When you are ready we can give you some suggestions on how to get through the withdrawal process with some comfort.

Glad you found your way here.

[reallyneedhelp76]

Well i can tell you this, i took 30 plus norco's a day for 7-8 years for back pain i just quit. and to tell you the truth my back pain is less now that i'm off than when i was taking it.  Withdrawal as you know is not fun BUT it is doable and i think that after a while the pills make the pain seem WAY worse than it really is because i can feel advil working just fine.  Have u talked to your doctor?  I was afraid to, but when i did he was AWSOME about it and has helped immensely.  So don't let fear rule your life.  You cana live with out the pills.