Need to quit - for good this time

[nvvicaddict]

Hi - I'm new to this forum and have been reading everyone's posts, all which sound all to familiar to my situation. I started on Vicodin's after having surgeries and just liked the energy they gave me to be a wife, a mom and a full time employee. However, I believe I've lost 2 great jobs because I would be high at work and not able to focus on my tasks and I now I have another great job that I don't want to put in jeopardy.  Also, my marriage is in trouble because of my addiction and my husband doesn't know that I'm still taking them.
Right now I'm on 1 1/2 days cold turkey and just need some moral support. I can handle the withdrawal symptoms since I've done it before, but this time I need my MIND to agree with me.  Thanks to all and good luck!

[nvvicaddict]

Hi and thanks for the message. I actually did look up the NA meetings in my area and might go to a meeting on Friday for "newcomers" I know I can't do this on my own since I haven't been successful thus far and I've been on/off this ride for about 7 years (more on than off). I find if I try to keep pretty busy, which is easy working full time and having 2 kids helps. It's when I have too much down time that I start to think TOO much and then I can convince myself into anything. I've already cancelled my appointment with my pain doctor and told them I don't need to reschedule right now...baby steps right? Thanks again - all this moral support, even from strangers really does help.

[gnarly_1]

Hi   well congrats on 4 days clean your off to a good start and your attitude is great I always say a positive attitude means the difference of being uncomfortable and suffering  as for the mind games  you have to treat the disease  even clean your still stuck with the addict in your head it will not go away and often gets worst without the drugs to smooth over life on lifes terms  if strong will would be enough all these people would not be on this forum  myself included  aftercare is a critical part of doing this if you dont want to do it over and over there are many kinds.. a addiction tharipist a substance abuse conslor the pastor of your church and all will help  but for me it was the rooms of N/A that finely address the addict that lived in my head it is a great program that will change the very way you think and give you some structure in your life something most addicts dont have I recamend it to everyone and it works just know this is not over in 4 days  it has just begun google Na meeting in your area.........Gnarly

[nvvicaddict]

Thank you for your post! I have tried to quit and failed many times before as well. Great job on being clean for 4 months, that's awesome! I usually work out and run a lot, but only 4 days off I don't have the energy to go workout but I know I'll get there. Someday I'll come clean to my husband, but right now I'm relying on willpower and this forum. Tonight my daughter just said, why are you smiling? Usually you're angry - that was hard to hear that I've been such a jerk

[Pollyanna7]

Howdy, I haven't been on the forums for awhile. I have been off of Vicodin for 4 months now. I took it for 7 years everyday. I was So addicted, more than I realized. I can say YOU CAN DO THIS!! Everyday has its hard but everyday is better. I finally can feel again... I still struggle with fatigue but I think that is lack of exercise too. The more I move around the better I feel. I pray you keep off the pills. The HARD times will pass... I tried and failed so many times quitting. This time it stuck. I told my husband I was addicted. He had no idea. I came clean with him and that lead to my success. it was HARD but I am so thankful for freedom. God bless you on your journey.

[nvvicaddict]

Thanks for checking on me! I'm on day 4 and so far so good :)  The biggest thing I've noticed so far is how tired I get by afternoon which is when I would take my little pick me ups.  
Hope you're doing well too! :)

[coryreply719]

Welcome to the forum, friend! Prayers for you. Hang in there and keep fighting!

#Livn'ItUpInCO
#2015MyYear

[rockland45]

Hi friend~

I just caught this post and wanted to say that I'll be praying for you on this journey. I know quitting an addiction like this is not easy, but it sounds like you really know you have a problem and are ready to address it. I hope you also have some support you can take advantage of in your area? Perhaps see a counselor or look for a local support group? Just a thought!

rockland45
#girlluvs2garden#

[Cricketk92]

Morning!  Hope this finds you feeling better!  Hope that you got another good nights sleep!  It helps so much during detox!  You should start to feel better in a few days and then you really need to think about aftercare!!  It will be your lifeline!!!  You also will get used to life without the meds...they arent your friend...they are a monster!!!  Keep hanging on and doing the right thing!!!  Let us know how you are doing!

[nvvicaddict]

Thanks for the reply and it seems a lot of "working moms" have this problem - from what I've been reading on here.  It's pretty sad because I think that we feel like we need to do everything and these meds gave me that energy that I needed to be "super mom" however I wasn't. I was moody and would yell at my girls. They would tell me that I was being mean and now when I think about that, it breaks my heart. They don't deserve that - I need to do this for them and that's what I have to remember.
You can do it too - one day, one minute at a time I guess. That's what I keep telling myself anyway. I have to replace "I can't with I want"

[atthebeach]

Your welcome. That is good news. Stay hydrated. Eat light foods.
Move around as much as possible. Are you working today?
You have been through this before.
Staying clean is what you need to focus on.
Cutting your supplies. Having a new mind set. Doing things
Differently this time around.
Please consider getting some outside support.
No man is an island..
Keep up the good work.
Congrats on wanting to reclaim your life.

[nvvicaddict]

I'm doing better today than I was yesterday. Withdrawal symptoms aren't as bad and I got a good night's sleep last night. Thank you for checking on me, means more than you know :)

[atthebeach]

Hey how are you doing?
Keep on keepin on.
Recovery is a marathon not a sprint.

[fordfanatic]

atthebeach - That was a really nice comment you made there. It is true. I am on day 8 right now and am really starting to feel that the chains are lifting off of me. It is a relief, but things are still difficult.

nvvicaddict - I too felt like a super hero on my preferred substance, oxy. I felt like I could do anything. Going to work and staying up insanely late was no problem with the help of a few of those blue pills. Well, make a long story short, the fun stopped real quick, and quickly I became a slave to the substance. No longer felt like super man. I just needed the pills to feel "normal." The mental part of quitting an addiction is so difficult, but you have to move on and come back to reality. Stay motivated and try your best to have a positive attitude that you are making a healthy decision. Keep posting, everyone on this forum is so great!

[atthebeach]

The pills give you a false sense of security. You need to get to counseling, support groups, na, aa, celebrate recovery, church,.
We aren't  supposed to be super humans. Living life on life's terms.
Everything has a time and place. We set out own bar too high.

Change your way of thinking. You are better without pills.
Believe in yourself.
There is always hope.
There is freedom from the chains and bondage of addiction.
Keep the faith,
Debbie

[Cricketk92]

Hi and welcome! So glad you found this site! You will find lots of help and encouragement and definitely lots of us who understand right where you're at!!  Congrats on the 2 days!!  Keep hanging on and posting!! We are all routing you on!!

[nvvicaddict]

refills - you are SO very right! What I thought was an "energetic, productive day" my family probably thought I was a total nut because I was jamming around.  However, when I was on the Vico's, I would be all energetic and start a huge project and then run out of them and never finish.  Needless to say, I have about a dozen 1/2 finished projects around my house that drive my husband insane. I'm only on day 2 of no pills and so far it's all I can think about. It *****

[nvvicaddict]

Funny thing is I know all of this, but this addiction is such a mind f*ck. I train for 1/2 marathons, eat healthy and have NO problem quitting sugar, red meat, etc., but this addiction gets a hold of you! I know what I'm doing and how I'm damaging my body, but the amount of control it has is unreal. That's what I can't get past

[VICourageous]

I could not of said it better then jifmoc!!!

I just wanted to add one thing I did over 2 yrs ago is got some Videos and paperwork on Addiction in a more Scientific way. This will not cure you, but if your Hub or Family watches or reads they might give you more support. Do not beat your self up, it is a Disease and like all others we need help & support.
Bless

[jifmoc]

Hey there, welcome. Gonna say what I say one thousand times: you gotta cancel ALL your contacts. The doc, the street, etc. Delete phone #s. Have you done that? If you leave the door opened to get some, you will. Trust me, we've all done that and learned the hard way. You will have cravings, that's part of detox. But it's just your mind screaming at you because it wants it's fix.

Look up the Thomas recipe. The stuff on there will aid in wds. Also, to STAY clean we all need aftercare. Anyone get clean, staying clean is the work!:)

Keep posting!:)

[TS8777]

Wow your story is almost a copy of mine. My husband says he will never leave me but I know he can't deal with this much longer. I too took the pills for the energy, the mommy of a 1 year old and a 2 year old, a wife, and a college student. My husband asked me the other day what I loved more my family or my pills. Boy oh boy that was a slap in the face because the hardcore truth was I loved the pills more than ANYTHING. I was super woman on them and now I am on day 5 and can barely get up the energy to go to the bathroom. I get pissed off when I have to pee. And that's for real. I had to make the choice in my mind first that this is it!!!!!!! If I keep going I am going to lose everything and be alone for real. You just have to think of your life And your family every time that craving comes up. Please stay strong. We all have it in us we just sometimes have to dig real deep. Also ask yourself the same question that my husband asked me. Girl all I could so was cry after he asked me that because I was truly putting pills in front of everything else in my life including my husband and children. YOU CAN DO THIS