Need your help, Morphine addiction, Alcohol, withdrawal

[12gauge]

Hello all,

I would like to ask for help from those that can...

I guess first the background.  I've been abusing opiates for about 8 months straight.  I've recently stopped taking Morphine, as my resources ran dry - but I've also been convicted spiritually about it.  Never mind that I nearly ruined the relationship with my wife over my addiction.  I've never shot up, nor would I want to.  However, I was taking 200 mg of Morphine on a daily basis. I've taken as much as 400 mg on several occasions.  Needless to say, I built an incredible tolerance to opiates.  

It's been six weeks since I've taken any Morphine or Oxycodone.  The Oxy's would barely touch me.  I'd have to eat about 4 - 6 10 mg tablets to catch a buzz for just a short couple of hours.  When my source went dry, I was lucky enough to land some Oxy's and consequently tapered down over the course of a week.  I then landed some Methadone and took it for another week before going dry.  Despite the Methadone, all of the opiate intake occurred six weeks ago.  Again, the Methadone was only taken for a week following the opiates (so that makes 5 weeks since taking Methadone.)

Concerning the opiates, I went through a week of terrible withdrawal - excessive sweats, shaking, skin crawling, face flushing, etc.  I was surprisingly able to sleep through withdrawal, however I was still consuming enough alcohol to knock myself out.  During this time, alcohol served as a "buffer" from the withdrawal and I began to drink steadily including the morning and daytime hours.

Drinking has been a steadily growing problem for the past 10 years.  I'm glad to report that has also ceased (for the most part.)  I really don't feel bad about a few beers once or twice a week.  A good example is 4 days ago when I had only 1 1/2 beers.  I truly didn't care to have any more and was glad that was the case.  I haven't drank since then.  In the past 3 weeks, I drank more in the beginning but the days probably totaled 10 or so. There's beer to drink now if I wanted, but could really care less:)  I never have enjoyed getting drunk, but it's happened a million times over in the past.  At my worst, I was drinking about 15 beers per night. In the past year or so, this dwindled to a steady 8 - 10 drinks per night (I think the Morphine was enough to satisfy me for a while.)

In addition to the drinking and opiate abuse, I also have suffered from a bipolar condition.  I now do not know if this is a self-induced chemical imbalance, or if the condition is real.  The disorder presented itself a couple of years ago.  It was a very stressful period in my life.  Drinking was at its worst.  I began seeing a psychiatrist on a monthly basis.  I never confessed to any doctor that I was both an alcoholic and a substance abuser.   Six weeks ago, at the same time as quitting Morphine, I also stopped taking all of my bipolar medication.  I think this added to the withdrawal.  I continued to smoke pot, but that has also ceased as of about 3 weeks ago.  I've smoked pot since age 13, steadily since age 16.

Now for the problem.

I cannot sleep.  I'm no longer sweating, flushing, shaking, or anything that resembles noticeable withdrawal.  However, this now makes 3 solid weeks with an average of about 3 hours of Ambien induced sleep per night (and no, I never took any benzos while taking Methadone.)  Ambien is the only thing that will put me to sleep, and I have to take 20 mg to do it.  However it only lasts a few hours and then I'm wide awake.  Taking more does nothing.  I've tried Ambien CR with absolutely no results.  I've also began taking 5-HTP in a desperate effort to conquer my sleeping troubles.  This has also proven ineffective.  Name any good sleep habit, and I've done it steadily for two weeks now.  

I have no idea what to think.  I'm wondering if this has something to do with opiate withdrawal, the lack of bipolar medication, the lack of alcohol, or if the Ambien is causing "rebound symptoms" that I've read little about.  The rebound symptoms is something that worries me.  I have not done enough research to thoroughly understand, but have read enough to know that opiate addicts coming from withdrawal should avoid all benzos.  Again, this is very troublesome knowing that Ambien is the only thing that works.

I'm desperate.  Don't worry too much, as I do have enough personal conviction to avoid getting drunk in an effort to sleep.  I just want to sleep again.

I'm hoping that perhaps somebody out there may be able to help shed some light on this situation.  Any help at all would be greatly appreciated.

Take care,

[KIA27]

hi there. Been there done that with the opiates anyways. they gave me clonidine which is non-narcotic for the withdrawal(and knocks you out!!!!) when I got through the withdrawal I got on Cymbalta for leg pain/depression and remeron for sleep. I just love remeron. I should be a spokesperson for this drug. Not only does it have anit-depressing agents in it but it comes in a dissolvable tablet and literally takes minutes and I am out!!!! And trust me, I am a total insomniac!!! I would go to your doctor and at least give it a try! There are a lot of drugs out there, but these 2 are also non-addicting! I know you will get through it! I have been where you are! The highs will never take you where the lows do. I will keep you in my prayers!!! Take care

[worried878]

I take ambien as need for sleep...it does not work for some people and i have heard that if 5-10 mg does not make u sleep it is not a good choice...i can take 2.5 mg and sleep but insomnia is not a problem for me unless i am under stress...i do take 5htp each night  200 mg...it is not the type of thing that makes u feel drowsy tho and knock u out...melatonin does not agree with me and i have a hangover the next day from it but many like it...a cal/mag supp at night helps, GABA also helps me....Valerian root is also something that does make me drowsy right after i take it and works as well as ambien for me but I do have a residual effect from it in the morning and i do not from ambien..cold temperatures in the house at night helps by slowing your metabolism, also drugs like amitryptilline are a safe choice for most..if 5htp does not work, some like straight tryptophan better...phenergan is also a fairly safe sleep aid but can have a hangover effect in the morning if too much is taken....k   if i think of anymore i will post  LOL

[cathy5841]

uugghhhh, i am 5 months off opiates and still have nights i dont sleep.  i take tylenol pm almost every night.  during detox i used something called sleep formula from gnc.  it worked wonders.  i slept and had no hang over.  i ran out went to get more and they were out.  i told everybody i knew about it...must have increased their sales.  lol   i keep forgetting to go get more now.  good luck..i am sure sleep will come...one day.
cathy

[avisg]

LOL I am left handed and that would still be the one I would give away .It really is normal to still have major sleep problems 6 weeks off  of opiates. Think about the amount of abuse we have put our body threw it takes along time to repair it .

Avis

[12gauge]

What exactly do you mean when you say, "it will come back?"  The sleep, I'm assuming.  Is it natural to have to wait this long for sleep after not having abused opiates for 6 weeks now?  

I'm right-handed by the way...  I might consider my left arm though:)

Thanks again.

[avisg]

10,    The 5htp you can take up to 300mg x3 a day

         melatonin     up to 9mg a day the sublingual works the best

          magnesium     1000mgs a day


I know you would give your right arm for a good nights sleep at this point .I have been there . Try this It is going to take a while 2 nights wont be enough .It will come back
Avis

[12gauge]

Thank you for the reply.  

Yep...  A lot I suppose.  I know there's a lot worse stories though.  I'm glad I'm off the pills, including the scripted meds.  I'll say that I've only taken the 5-HTP for two nights.  50 mg the first and 100 mg the second.  I'm wondering how long it will take for the sleep to return.  I pretty much look strung out all of the time now.  I can function fine, but I'd love to sleep again.  3 weeks is just too long.  Besides the sleep, the withdrawal is pretty much over now (as far as I can tell anyway.)  I really don't want to be on the pills again, so I think that can testify towards the emotional withdrawal.  Yes, I've been taking Melatonin for about 2 weeks now.  I first started off with 6 mg, but found no relief.  I've tried .5 mg, 1 mg, 3 mg...  I'm not entirely sure how much to take.  For that matter, I'm also uncertain as to how much of the 5-HTP I should take.  I haven't tried the Magnesium or Calcium, but I have been drinking milk at night.  Today will make day number 3 of working out.  I think I will go digging for a multi vitamin on that note though.

AA - no.  I'm not very social.  I'd almost be scared I'd run into somebody unexpected.  The last thing I need is for anyone at work to find out.

Yes I have no doubts that I can recover.  I have a very strong will to.  Right now, I'm just entirely concerned about sleeping.

Thanks again.  Maybe you'll have another 2 cents.

[avisg]

10, Welcome to the forum . It sounds like you have been threw alot .Getting off of morphine is a VERY hard one. First off , sleep seems to be the last thing to return to normal . I would continue the 5 hpt add in some sublingual melatonin and liquid magnesium and calcium. Working out everyday really help your sleep and mood improve a lot.

With both the drinking problem and the drug problem have you thought about looking into either AA meeting or NA meetings ? They are very helpful for alot of people . The mental battle of addiction is more diffcult  then the physcial. We all however can recover.
Christine