No Choice but to CT off vicodin and soma... Any help?

[adriansmommy]

According to everyone's advice on my first post... I shouldn't CT soma? Financially and otherwise, I have no choice but to CT off of both, I have only two somas left, and I am saving them for tonight so that I might sleep at least a lil bit tonight... I just swallowed my last lortab....  I am so terrified of this, but know that is has to be done... Does anyone on here have experience coming off of a cocktail of both these medications WITHOUT a drs help? I need honesty of what to expect, and a time length I'm looking at... I have a one year old son that I have to look after no matter how bad I feel... Thank you all so much for the help!

[adriansmommy]

I feel so upset with myself, I spent three full hours on or over the toilet, my stomach is still feeling the effects from that, my nerves were horrible and I felt like I was having a nervous breakdown, my son only wanted me to hold him, not Daddy, during that time and all I could hear was him crying for me in the room... I gave in. I swallowed the devil's damn jelly beans less than 15 minutes ago, and already feel like a failure and am so ashamed of myself... I do not know what to do, I am so lost, I was about to go to the er... I am starting to feel like maybe I do need to see a dr about quitting, because of my other mental issues... But I don't want to use one excuse after another to not quit... I feel so horrible... I only lasted 31 hrs!! I honestly don't know what the next step is from here... Even though I am with my beautiful son and my husband, I felt like I was alone in a dark corner when I was over the toilet... I am just numb to this whole thing. I hate myself so much for letting it get to this point

[tigerlily11]

Hey, Im glad you are trying to keep your spirits up and jammin music is so helpful! In fact you just reminded me of a song, Wasted by Carrie Underwood...Im gonna go post the lyrics if I can find them. :) Yes you are definitely right, both YOU and your son deserve this!!! Now you say you have bipolar disorder, severe anxiety, and borderline schizophrenia....Are you seeing a dr for these things, or taking meds for it? That can change some stuff in there , so I think you definitely should start seeing a dr if your not already. Hang in there Im praying for you!

[adriansmommy]

Thank you so much! I have just been jammin Sublime, thinking about what a waste people put themselves through on a day to day basis, and trying to hang in there. I'm in some serious pain now, 26 hrs in, and I want to DIE.... But I know that if I don't do this I will die from this addiction. My son deserves so much more than that, and so do I actually. Still hangin on, I know tonight will be very trying. I have bipolar disorder, pretty severe anxiety, and borderline schizophrenia, so I am really scared of how the nights will go until this is over...

[tigerlily11]

Hello there! Just wanted tto check in on you and let you know we are all here for you and supporting you!!! I am so happy for you that you have decided to do this and are now 18 hours in. The next few days will be rough, but you can do it! You just have to keep a positive mind and that really mkes the difference between suffering and just discomfort. My favorite quote from Gnarly1 again, This battle is 1/3 physical and 2/3 mental...so get positive and get proactive and you will win! I am keeping you in my prayers! We are in this battle together and WE WILL WIN!!!

[adriansmommy]

Thanks everyone... it's been about... 18 hrs since I've had a narcotic... It ***** but it's not too brutal yet

[LeaAnn807]

OMG........I didn't know that about the seizures.  Definitely get some medical help then.  You do NOT want to have a seizure.  They are very hard to recover from physically. (and emotionally they are scary as you-know-what)

It would be worth doing whatever is necessary to get some help.  Your life depends on it!