Norco Addiction, withdraw process

[Tat2guy]

My name is, well my name don't matter...I've read a lot of these and haven't ever commented... I'm 29 years old, and well bottom line I can take 30 norcos, the lil yellow bananas a day and not feel anything but normal.. I've been taking them for nine years.. I own a very successful business, and worked my *** off to make it from the ground up, I have 3 perfect kids and a beautiful wife that loves the hell out of me...I have money power and success.. And a ****** up addiction.. The work I do I can't just half *** it... Anyhow four months ago I stopped entirely went two months without ****.. Cold turkey wanted myself to feel the pain... And I did.. But I gave in a couple months ago.. My body wasn't working with my mind and I took two pills.. Felt like superman, told myself no I'm only takin two a day.. But you know how that goes. Bam right back to thirty a day
..here I am on day two of being clean, I have two more days till I go back to work.. The worst part is my wife looks at me like I'm a joke and am just going to start back any time.. What she don't know is she helped me so much last time... I just took one little bitty *** suboxone, and it didn't do ****... And no they aren't dr supplied.. I don't know I just know I deserve to hurt....I deserve this feeling..... But goddamn, it's so hard knowing I could take them and bam be back to superman in minutes... I was so ****** proud of myself last time I quit.... I just hate the mental anguish.. I have so much on my plate....

[On2better]

It's time for you to get to know the real you. You're letting the anxiety take charge right now. The w/d are hard but doable. Weve been there, you can do this! You don't deserve pain and suffering, you didn't make a choice to become an addict, you just are. Let's say you had appendicitis that required surgery, would you deserve that pain and suffering? No!  And I understand that addiction involves a bit more free will, but not much.  We compulsively use, regardless of consequences. And we have to intervene (have our "surgery") to get better.  It *****, but then you're on the other side of it feeling like a million bucks again.  The anxiety is getting the best of you! Tell it to shut the ef up!

[Pat1956100]

You have everything going for you but you aren't happy because you are addicted to pills.  You will be happy again once you beat this for good.  Be proud that you have started your detox.

[Vecci4u]

Tat...

I know your life , I'm there.... I have great kids, my wife is gorgeous I have a great job,,,, I have all the superficial things I need... But you know what I really have nothing with these pills. It controls my entire day, it controls my life. Everything for us revolves around them in our pocket, hidden in our closet or wherever you hide them.

I feel like crap today taking only 1... And my body is screaming for more, but like pat said the pills turned on us... This is not fun anymore. Get off this ride with me m8?

[Tat2guy]

Just took a suboxon, wow.. They took the day three withdrawals away, but I'm scared I'm trading one drug for another... Now I feel a completely different high, scary high actually, controllable but scary... Life must go on tho.. Im glad to hear someone else is going thru the same ****..

[Pat1956100]

You should stay away from the suboxone.  You were on day 3 and the worst was almost over.  I found too when I took a pill during withdrawals that the high was different and a little scary.  I just didn't enjoy it anymore.  Probably how normal people feel taking meds.  It gets rid of the pain but they don't really like the feeling that it gives them lol.
I have read that suboxone is very hard to come off of.  
I am on day 7 after many attempts to get clean.  Taking anything now only prolongs the agony.  Hang in there.

[Tat2guy]

Twenty days and life is so much better, and clear.. Thank you all for actually giving a ****.. Hopefully one day I can help one of you..  Vecci4u second to the last thing you said meant a lot to me... I really appreciate your help.. I been meaning to come on here for two weeks now.. But I was scared to read up at what I said when I first posted.. I was so lost at that time, felt like the world was on my shoulders.. I am almost 100%..  And my mind is focused more then it has been in years.... If there's anything I can do or help anyone with, let me know...