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Norco Detox
I've been posting on other folks pages for the past couple of days, and decided I'd come forward with questions and thanks. I have been abusing pain meds of any kind for over ten years, maybe more. For the past year I've abused Norco 10s, taking 5 to 10 a day. I've lied to my doc, lied to my family, stole drugs from friends, went through med cabinets of homes I'd visit, even stole pain meds from my mother while she suffered the end stages of cancer. I've been through many ct withdrawals because I could never tapper off - I wanted that feeling, knowing full well what was waiting for me when i quit. On January 1st, I felt so much shame for having ripped off meds from a friend again, that I decided to stop. On January 2nd I took my last four Norco, and thus am in day four of detox. I have been in hell. Although I've detoxed in the past, I've NEVER experienced anything like this in my life. You all know the symptoms so I won't review. I'm at the end of day four, and feel a wee bit better. I was able to eat today. Because of the help I've received on this site, I bought Vit B12, C and an OTC sleep aid. I also got some great support and encouragement from folks like Lulu. Finally, I found a quote, and I can't remember where, from someone who said "...count the seconds, count the minutes, whatever it takes to get you through". Thanks to all of you. I wonder how long, based on the time and amount used, it will be until the hell is over. I know that I've a long road ahead re learning how to live and enjoy life without the meds; I just want the panic, pain and sleeplessness to end. There are moments when I'm glad this is so hard...It is a blessing of sorts because I will never put myself through this again. I can't.
Hey Kyle! Your attitude is going to save your life here. I think you know that this time it's forever and there's no going back. You've accepted that. Maybe the WD's were hell this time because of that? Our brains are so tricky and the disease so cunning...
I'm glad you kept pushing and I'm glad you've embraced this time because it makes a huge difference in recovery. The exercise is going to help a great deal,too. You'll see. Just walking and breathing can be a great thing!
I'm glad you kept pushing and I'm glad you've embraced this time because it makes a huge difference in recovery. The exercise is going to help a great deal,too. You'll see. Just walking and breathing can be a great thing!
Lu and Vicki
Thanks. I just got back from the office (own my own business). On Tuesday, day one in hell, I was talking to my accountant and found a serious tax related error. Talk about panic! I tried to keep my mind off it during the next few days in hell, but every time I though about it - really bad panic. Well, it is fixed. A MINOR error. Plus, my computer was having problems, but I DID NOT panic today. Called a friend and it also is fixed. I had a big breakfast (3 eggs, toast, bacon, OJ), took my vitamins, and just finished a big lunch. The weirdness and semi uncertainty is still there, but the needless panic attacks seem to be gone. Or maybe I'm speaking too soon. Anyway, bottom line, a much better day today. Day 5 is OK. And I'm only half way through. I owe so much to the wonderful people on this site. I will never forget my withdrawal, and never forget the help from all of you. (If you can't tell, still in that overblown emotional stage. I told my 18 daughter that I was proud of her - she just looked at me and smiled. Pretty cool.)
Thanks. I just got back from the office (own my own business). On Tuesday, day one in hell, I was talking to my accountant and found a serious tax related error. Talk about panic! I tried to keep my mind off it during the next few days in hell, but every time I though about it - really bad panic. Well, it is fixed. A MINOR error. Plus, my computer was having problems, but I DID NOT panic today. Called a friend and it also is fixed. I had a big breakfast (3 eggs, toast, bacon, OJ), took my vitamins, and just finished a big lunch. The weirdness and semi uncertainty is still there, but the needless panic attacks seem to be gone. Or maybe I'm speaking too soon. Anyway, bottom line, a much better day today. Day 5 is OK. And I'm only half way through. I owe so much to the wonderful people on this site. I will never forget my withdrawal, and never forget the help from all of you. (If you can't tell, still in that overblown emotional stage. I told my 18 daughter that I was proud of her - she just looked at me and smiled. Pretty cool.)
That's great about the accounting error. I know you were worrying about that and I thought: "Uh oh...this is going to flip him!" Thank goodness it was minor. I always worry about those nasty things happening to folks in the early days. It so vulnerable a time, as you are finding out!
I don't think you're speaking too soon. It's exactly how it feels but don't be surprised if a really bad day creeps in...it just happens to everyone so don't let it throw you...
Are you giving any thought to aftercare as in therapy, AA, that kind of thing? Most of us need extra support. You can "design" your own kind of therapy as long as it's focused and is a help to you. For example, one thing that I did was volunteering with some school age kids in their drama dept. LOL! (it worked for me!) It was just great at the time and I'll be doing it again soon.
That WAS a big breakfast! Then lunch? Then supper? LOL! Better put exercise on the list!
I don't think you're speaking too soon. It's exactly how it feels but don't be surprised if a really bad day creeps in...it just happens to everyone so don't let it throw you...
Are you giving any thought to aftercare as in therapy, AA, that kind of thing? Most of us need extra support. You can "design" your own kind of therapy as long as it's focused and is a help to you. For example, one thing that I did was volunteering with some school age kids in their drama dept. LOL! (it worked for me!) It was just great at the time and I'll be doing it again soon.
That WAS a big breakfast! Then lunch? Then supper? LOL! Better put exercise on the list!
Vicki:
I am a recovering boozer, sober for 23 years, so I've already looked into meetings and have found one close to home. Can't take credit for that thought - saw the suggestion on this site. And yes, during days two and three, the thought of going in to the office today was horrible - the earth was going to end. In fact, I posted yesterday, and now it's pretty funny, that I made myself go get a haircut and panicked when the place was closed! Boy, I'm going to have some great stories to tell. Thanks again for your help. I've been reading more posts, and my heart really goes out to some of the folks who are struggling with admitting to themselves that they have to stop, and those who are in the early (earlier than me anyway) stage of the battle. One person talked about wanting to sleep through the next two weeks. That is a mistake; we all need to go through this, bad as it gets, come out the other side, and have the memory of the days in hell burned into our memories forever (again, emotional but true). I've been calling this ct detox my blessing. And it is.
I am a recovering boozer, sober for 23 years, so I've already looked into meetings and have found one close to home. Can't take credit for that thought - saw the suggestion on this site. And yes, during days two and three, the thought of going in to the office today was horrible - the earth was going to end. In fact, I posted yesterday, and now it's pretty funny, that I made myself go get a haircut and panicked when the place was closed! Boy, I'm going to have some great stories to tell. Thanks again for your help. I've been reading more posts, and my heart really goes out to some of the folks who are struggling with admitting to themselves that they have to stop, and those who are in the early (earlier than me anyway) stage of the battle. One person talked about wanting to sleep through the next two weeks. That is a mistake; we all need to go through this, bad as it gets, come out the other side, and have the memory of the days in hell burned into our memories forever (again, emotional but true). I've been calling this ct detox my blessing. And it is.
It can be a blessing so I'm happy you see it that way, too. Being a little older makes a difference,as well. We know we just can't trash ourselves and go through this forever! I would rather not,thank you very much!!
There's only one way and that's through it! You're doing great!
There's only one way and that's through it! You're doing great!
I have to share this story, and if I offend anyone, I apologize in advance. As we all know, one of the things that happen when we ct detox is an almost immediate (at least for me) horrible cramping, then diarrhea - for days. Well, about an hour ago I went to use the restroom, and for the first time in days, no diarrhea. Without thinking, I let out a loud "cool". My wife came to the door and asked me what I was doing in there. I explained, but I guess I'm the only one who really appreciates the event.
For now, it's the little things that show progress. One less thing...
For now, it's the little things that show progress. One less thing...
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I love that album...and I'm younger than your oldest kid(:
The sleep thing takes patience and letting go...Trust me I was obsessed with not getting enough sleep..which of course caused me anxiety which prevented me from sleeping....
I know it is awful...But it will get better...every day...Promise...Just keep doing all the good things that you're doing....Lu