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Norco Detox
I've been posting on other folks pages for the past couple of days, and decided I'd come forward with questions and thanks. I have been abusing pain meds of any kind for over ten years, maybe more. For the past year I've abused Norco 10s, taking 5 to 10 a day. I've lied to my doc, lied to my family, stole drugs from friends, went through med cabinets of homes I'd visit, even stole pain meds from my mother while she suffered the end stages of cancer. I've been through many ct withdrawals because I could never tapper off - I wanted that feeling, knowing full well what was waiting for me when i quit. On January 1st, I felt so much shame for having ripped off meds from a friend again, that I decided to stop. On January 2nd I took my last four Norco, and thus am in day four of detox. I have been in hell. Although I've detoxed in the past, I've NEVER experienced anything like this in my life. You all know the symptoms so I won't review. I'm at the end of day four, and feel a wee bit better. I was able to eat today. Because of the help I've received on this site, I bought Vit B12, C and an OTC sleep aid. I also got some great support and encouragement from folks like Lulu. Finally, I found a quote, and I can't remember where, from someone who said "...count the seconds, count the minutes, whatever it takes to get you through". Thanks to all of you. I wonder how long, based on the time and amount used, it will be until the hell is over. I know that I've a long road ahead re learning how to live and enjoy life without the meds; I just want the panic, pain and sleeplessness to end. There are moments when I'm glad this is so hard...It is a blessing of sorts because I will never put myself through this again. I can't.
Give it about two weeks and then you will start the process of healing and feeling better. The physical symptoms should end after 5 or 6 days so you are almost there. You will not want to go anywhere or do anything but force yourself to and it will help to quicken the mental healing process. Stick with it. You don't want to have to go through this more than once. I relapsed and am going through it a second time although I purposely kept myself from taking alot per day so it is not as bad but it still *****. If you want to have someone to talk to, I am here. It would have helped me the first time if I knew someone was there.
Hi Kyle...
Glad you posted your own thread...It will be easier for us to keep track and give you support. You are brave and have a good attitude...Like beenthere said you are almost through the worst of the physical. Remember it took you ten years to get here so you won't get out right away. Patience, diligence, compassion for yourself and a good aftercare plan are all key. I'm heading to bed but will check in and out all weekend so if you need anything let me know...Keep going, you're doing great....Lu
Glad you posted your own thread...It will be easier for us to keep track and give you support. You are brave and have a good attitude...Like beenthere said you are almost through the worst of the physical. Remember it took you ten years to get here so you won't get out right away. Patience, diligence, compassion for yourself and a good aftercare plan are all key. I'm heading to bed but will check in and out all weekend so if you need anything let me know...Keep going, you're doing great....Lu
Thanks to you both. I can't tell you how much this site has helped me, but you already know that. For the last four days I've spent hours reading and re reading the posts, finding information and encouragement. Prior to my detox I never understood why sites like this existed; how people could stare at a computer, read about strangers, yet find courage in their words. Now I get it. I'm at the end of day four. I've actually had a second of OKness tonight, then it flashed away. I've eaten breakfast and dinner; lots of vitamins, Gatorade and Ensure (sp?) to help with my muscle weakness. Maybe knowing that I'm doing something good for myself for a change is what the moment of OKness was all about. Thanks again.
OK...Made it to day five. Anyone out there who's just starting to do the right thing, I'm here to say that you CAN do it. Sleeping a bit better; woke up hungry for the second morning. The mental crap, depression, panic, etc., is still alive and well, but easier to deal with with food, vitamins and rest. Starting to take walks today. Again, many thanks to all on this site. With your help, and the help of my family, I've made it this far...I was going to say something like, and I'll never look back, but I will. I don't, and won't, ever forget what I've been through the past four days. I know I've got many days of recovery ahead of me, and who knows what today has in store, but the past four days were hell - my blessing. I needed this. I'm a slow learner, but after ten years I've finally got it. Will be back.
Kyle-
Yay for day 5! You have a great attitude and let me tell you-that's half the battle. The walk will do you good-exercise saved me in many ways. Also awesome that you're hungry. I've eaten more in the 34 days I've been clean than I did ever on opiates. Still skinny as a twelve year old boy though(: One moment at a time....Proud of you....Lu
keep posting(:
Yay for day 5! You have a great attitude and let me tell you-that's half the battle. The walk will do you good-exercise saved me in many ways. Also awesome that you're hungry. I've eaten more in the 34 days I've been clean than I did ever on opiates. Still skinny as a twelve year old boy though(: One moment at a time....Proud of you....Lu
keep posting(:
Hey Kyle! Your attitude is going to save your life here. I think you know that this time it's forever and there's no going back. You've accepted that. Maybe the WD's were hell this time because of that? Our brains are so tricky and the disease so cunning...
I'm glad you kept pushing and I'm glad you've embraced this time because it makes a huge difference in recovery. The exercise is going to help a great deal,too. You'll see. Just walking and breathing can be a great thing!
I'm glad you kept pushing and I'm glad you've embraced this time because it makes a huge difference in recovery. The exercise is going to help a great deal,too. You'll see. Just walking and breathing can be a great thing!
Lu and Vicki
Thanks. I just got back from the office (own my own business). On Tuesday, day one in hell, I was talking to my accountant and found a serious tax related error. Talk about panic! I tried to keep my mind off it during the next few days in hell, but every time I though about it - really bad panic. Well, it is fixed. A MINOR error. Plus, my computer was having problems, but I DID NOT panic today. Called a friend and it also is fixed. I had a big breakfast (3 eggs, toast, bacon, OJ), took my vitamins, and just finished a big lunch. The weirdness and semi uncertainty is still there, but the needless panic attacks seem to be gone. Or maybe I'm speaking too soon. Anyway, bottom line, a much better day today. Day 5 is OK. And I'm only half way through. I owe so much to the wonderful people on this site. I will never forget my withdrawal, and never forget the help from all of you. (If you can't tell, still in that overblown emotional stage. I told my 18 daughter that I was proud of her - she just looked at me and smiled. Pretty cool.)
Thanks. I just got back from the office (own my own business). On Tuesday, day one in hell, I was talking to my accountant and found a serious tax related error. Talk about panic! I tried to keep my mind off it during the next few days in hell, but every time I though about it - really bad panic. Well, it is fixed. A MINOR error. Plus, my computer was having problems, but I DID NOT panic today. Called a friend and it also is fixed. I had a big breakfast (3 eggs, toast, bacon, OJ), took my vitamins, and just finished a big lunch. The weirdness and semi uncertainty is still there, but the needless panic attacks seem to be gone. Or maybe I'm speaking too soon. Anyway, bottom line, a much better day today. Day 5 is OK. And I'm only half way through. I owe so much to the wonderful people on this site. I will never forget my withdrawal, and never forget the help from all of you. (If you can't tell, still in that overblown emotional stage. I told my 18 daughter that I was proud of her - she just looked at me and smiled. Pretty cool.)
That's great about the accounting error. I know you were worrying about that and I thought: "Uh oh...this is going to flip him!" Thank goodness it was minor. I always worry about those nasty things happening to folks in the early days. It so vulnerable a time, as you are finding out!
I don't think you're speaking too soon. It's exactly how it feels but don't be surprised if a really bad day creeps in...it just happens to everyone so don't let it throw you...
Are you giving any thought to aftercare as in therapy, AA, that kind of thing? Most of us need extra support. You can "design" your own kind of therapy as long as it's focused and is a help to you. For example, one thing that I did was volunteering with some school age kids in their drama dept. LOL! (it worked for me!) It was just great at the time and I'll be doing it again soon.
That WAS a big breakfast! Then lunch? Then supper? LOL! Better put exercise on the list!
I don't think you're speaking too soon. It's exactly how it feels but don't be surprised if a really bad day creeps in...it just happens to everyone so don't let it throw you...
Are you giving any thought to aftercare as in therapy, AA, that kind of thing? Most of us need extra support. You can "design" your own kind of therapy as long as it's focused and is a help to you. For example, one thing that I did was volunteering with some school age kids in their drama dept. LOL! (it worked for me!) It was just great at the time and I'll be doing it again soon.
That WAS a big breakfast! Then lunch? Then supper? LOL! Better put exercise on the list!
Vicki:
I am a recovering boozer, sober for 23 years, so I've already looked into meetings and have found one close to home. Can't take credit for that thought - saw the suggestion on this site. And yes, during days two and three, the thought of going in to the office today was horrible - the earth was going to end. In fact, I posted yesterday, and now it's pretty funny, that I made myself go get a haircut and panicked when the place was closed! Boy, I'm going to have some great stories to tell. Thanks again for your help. I've been reading more posts, and my heart really goes out to some of the folks who are struggling with admitting to themselves that they have to stop, and those who are in the early (earlier than me anyway) stage of the battle. One person talked about wanting to sleep through the next two weeks. That is a mistake; we all need to go through this, bad as it gets, come out the other side, and have the memory of the days in hell burned into our memories forever (again, emotional but true). I've been calling this ct detox my blessing. And it is.
I am a recovering boozer, sober for 23 years, so I've already looked into meetings and have found one close to home. Can't take credit for that thought - saw the suggestion on this site. And yes, during days two and three, the thought of going in to the office today was horrible - the earth was going to end. In fact, I posted yesterday, and now it's pretty funny, that I made myself go get a haircut and panicked when the place was closed! Boy, I'm going to have some great stories to tell. Thanks again for your help. I've been reading more posts, and my heart really goes out to some of the folks who are struggling with admitting to themselves that they have to stop, and those who are in the early (earlier than me anyway) stage of the battle. One person talked about wanting to sleep through the next two weeks. That is a mistake; we all need to go through this, bad as it gets, come out the other side, and have the memory of the days in hell burned into our memories forever (again, emotional but true). I've been calling this ct detox my blessing. And it is.
It can be a blessing so I'm happy you see it that way, too. Being a little older makes a difference,as well. We know we just can't trash ourselves and go through this forever! I would rather not,thank you very much!!
There's only one way and that's through it! You're doing great!
There's only one way and that's through it! You're doing great!
I have to share this story, and if I offend anyone, I apologize in advance. As we all know, one of the things that happen when we ct detox is an almost immediate (at least for me) horrible cramping, then diarrhea - for days. Well, about an hour ago I went to use the restroom, and for the first time in days, no diarrhea. Without thinking, I let out a loud "cool". My wife came to the door and asked me what I was doing in there. I explained, but I guess I'm the only one who really appreciates the event.
For now, it's the little things that show progress. One less thing...
For now, it's the little things that show progress. One less thing...
rush:
You got it. I ate three huge meals today, plus the bm, and this is only day five...Day one seems so long ago; what a journey. More to look forward to. Still having emotional ups and downs, and after reading posts on this site, expect to for quite a while, but feeling physically better, no weakness, shaking, etc., helps me handle the mental crap better. I'm even almost sleeping. Thanks for your comment. I got a laugh.
You got it. I ate three huge meals today, plus the bm, and this is only day five...Day one seems so long ago; what a journey. More to look forward to. Still having emotional ups and downs, and after reading posts on this site, expect to for quite a while, but feeling physically better, no weakness, shaking, etc., helps me handle the mental crap better. I'm even almost sleeping. Thanks for your comment. I got a laugh.
Chuckling out loud Kyle....I love your honesty and know it will take you far in your recovery...It's so important to recognize the little victories and see the suffering as healing....Our bodies show us all kinds of weird and wonderful things as the poison exits(:
I absolutely saw/see my detox and everything I've been through as a blessing...And as each day passes and I am further restored to my authentic self-I see that anything in life is possible...It's very exciting.
Vicki's story about volunteering is spot on-I've been doing much volunteer work and it feeds my soul and helps me so much in my recovery...It's so important to get outside of ourselves and act with compassion...It makes it easier to have compassion for ourselves which helps us to evolve...
Oh-and one of my first detox 'activities' was a hair cut/colour...I was so panicked about it and then felt like a million bucks afterwards...then I walked out onto the street and was accosted by a newsman with a camera...OMG my pupils were still so dilated and I was interviewed for the local news! I never saw it but I'm fairly certain I made some sense...(: Surprising what we're capable of...Happy for you kyle.....
Lu
I absolutely saw/see my detox and everything I've been through as a blessing...And as each day passes and I am further restored to my authentic self-I see that anything in life is possible...It's very exciting.
Vicki's story about volunteering is spot on-I've been doing much volunteer work and it feeds my soul and helps me so much in my recovery...It's so important to get outside of ourselves and act with compassion...It makes it easier to have compassion for ourselves which helps us to evolve...
Oh-and one of my first detox 'activities' was a hair cut/colour...I was so panicked about it and then felt like a million bucks afterwards...then I walked out onto the street and was accosted by a newsman with a camera...OMG my pupils were still so dilated and I was interviewed for the local news! I never saw it but I'm fairly certain I made some sense...(: Surprising what we're capable of...Happy for you kyle.....
Lu
Lulu:
Well, the haircut comes next. Because of the drugs - not true - because of my abusing the drugs, I really let myself go. I keep talking about eating because I would go the whole day without food (read somewhere that having food on your stomach when you took Norco might subdue the affect, so, what would you do?), take my handful of pills at 4 pm, then give it an hour and eat at 5. Anyway, nothing happened until 4 - thus very little happened. I've got a lot of things to catch up on. I will have full days, and am looking forward to what can be accomplished. Thanks again for your constant comments. I continue to hang on to this site as a way to get through.
Well, the haircut comes next. Because of the drugs - not true - because of my abusing the drugs, I really let myself go. I keep talking about eating because I would go the whole day without food (read somewhere that having food on your stomach when you took Norco might subdue the affect, so, what would you do?), take my handful of pills at 4 pm, then give it an hour and eat at 5. Anyway, nothing happened until 4 - thus very little happened. I've got a lot of things to catch up on. I will have full days, and am looking forward to what can be accomplished. Thanks again for your constant comments. I continue to hang on to this site as a way to get through.
Yes...the opiates do awful things to our digestive systems...I didn't purposefully not eat-I just couldn't. I eat non-stop now and still can't keep any weight on (lots of exercise and sweating)
Every day is a new experience and my face hurts from smiling...
I am excited for you...I'm on here tonight because I know how quiet it can be on the weekend...my first weekend a month ago was super rough and I so appreciated the few who were around here that made me feel less alone...and even made me laugh(:
Remember to not try and take on the world all in one go-break it down into small, manageable tasks so you don't feel overwhelmed. This way you set yourself up for success and you will be continually surprised at how much you are able to accomplish....And always be kind to yourself...Lu
Every day is a new experience and my face hurts from smiling...
I am excited for you...I'm on here tonight because I know how quiet it can be on the weekend...my first weekend a month ago was super rough and I so appreciated the few who were around here that made me feel less alone...and even made me laugh(:
Remember to not try and take on the world all in one go-break it down into small, manageable tasks so you don't feel overwhelmed. This way you set yourself up for success and you will be continually surprised at how much you are able to accomplish....And always be kind to yourself...Lu
Lulu:
Thanks for the advice. I know that I will be very limited for a long time, but I am looking forward to a day that starts at 9 a.m., not 3 p.m. I know I'll be tired, will still feel the depression and panic, but I also know that those feelings will become less and less as time goes by. I will do things slower, but may still be more productive, in between crying jags. Speaking of which, did you experience those, the over the top emotion at any little thing, and if so, how long does it last? I'm taking my daughter to the airport tomorrow so she can go back to college, and I've been sobbing about it for the past three days. And, although I just knew this wouldn't happen - insert laugh track here - I was just in the spa, feeling OK, and thinking, hey, later on down the road, if I should come upon a pill or two, no more, why not try it? Folks have a drink or to on a Saturday night, right? What's the difference?
I'm amazed that it's starting so soon. That thought didn't last long; again, the last few days of hell are a blessing. I just found it ironic that I've been posting, and happy, about eating, walking, etc., and up pops the devil. This is going to be an interesting, life-long process. Folks like you are greatly needed.
Thanks for the advice. I know that I will be very limited for a long time, but I am looking forward to a day that starts at 9 a.m., not 3 p.m. I know I'll be tired, will still feel the depression and panic, but I also know that those feelings will become less and less as time goes by. I will do things slower, but may still be more productive, in between crying jags. Speaking of which, did you experience those, the over the top emotion at any little thing, and if so, how long does it last? I'm taking my daughter to the airport tomorrow so she can go back to college, and I've been sobbing about it for the past three days. And, although I just knew this wouldn't happen - insert laugh track here - I was just in the spa, feeling OK, and thinking, hey, later on down the road, if I should come upon a pill or two, no more, why not try it? Folks have a drink or to on a Saturday night, right? What's the difference?
I'm amazed that it's starting so soon. That thought didn't last long; again, the last few days of hell are a blessing. I just found it ironic that I've been posting, and happy, about eating, walking, etc., and up pops the devil. This is going to be an interesting, life-long process. Folks like you are greatly needed.
Kyle...that just made me remember the DREAMS!! Oh Man! You will dream about the pills and it's very unsettling. Well, you might not but it's very common. I thought that part was pretty awful. Bad enough during waking hours but dealing with it in dreams gets interesting...
And think about this: What happens if you get hurt/need surgery/break a bone? You need a plan for that...but you've probably read about it here!!
And think about this: What happens if you get hurt/need surgery/break a bone? You need a plan for that...but you've probably read about it here!!
Honestly...I've been way less emotional since I went off the pills...I have been experiencing way more joy-but less sorrow and WAY less feeling sorry for myself. I cried today because I was so freaking tired and my dogs woke me up at 4 am for the third day in a row...but the tears felt good...
I was sure i was going to die if I stayed on those drugs-so each day feels like a miracle to me...everyone feels different. I know a lot of folks on here talk about crying jags...It's normal. Whatever feelings were being numbed out by the drugs come out....lots of different feelings. It's the reason the aftercare is important...As is having a plan for pain/surgery like Vicki mentioned...This was my biggest issue as I have chronic disease and illness...I've had to change my whole lifestyle and it's awesome-but a learning process. I was opiate free two years ago for six months but had to go back on for three consecutive surgeries...I thought I'd never get off the merry-go-round...until I did. One day, one moment, one step at a time...Lu
I was sure i was going to die if I stayed on those drugs-so each day feels like a miracle to me...everyone feels different. I know a lot of folks on here talk about crying jags...It's normal. Whatever feelings were being numbed out by the drugs come out....lots of different feelings. It's the reason the aftercare is important...As is having a plan for pain/surgery like Vicki mentioned...This was my biggest issue as I have chronic disease and illness...I've had to change my whole lifestyle and it's awesome-but a learning process. I was opiate free two years ago for six months but had to go back on for three consecutive surgeries...I thought I'd never get off the merry-go-round...until I did. One day, one moment, one step at a time...Lu
Thank you both. This is what I've done in order to prevent this from ever happening again; if for some reason I can't remember what I'm going through.
I have emailed my doctor. Honestly told him about my problem - I think he knew, and even questioned me years ago about my usage, so it was a hard email to write. I asked him to red flag my file as an abuser, someone who could not take opioid (?) meds. I told my wife; so, if in the future I have surgery and somehow come home with vics they will be flushed. She will even be with me during a pre op visit to be sure I inform the doc about the red flag. I also told a friend that has given me Norcos in the past (he will be on them forever probably, but somehow has not increased his usage in over ten years!) what has happened, that I am an addict, and told him no matter what, to tell me to go back to hell if I ever hint at getting a pill from him.
I also have a friend who's in the medical field, and he said that there are some alternative meds out there that are non addictive. That's good to know.
And Lulu, you mentioned that this site is usually quiet on weekends. It seems like it would be busy; the weekends are when my usage would increase a pill or two.
I have emailed my doctor. Honestly told him about my problem - I think he knew, and even questioned me years ago about my usage, so it was a hard email to write. I asked him to red flag my file as an abuser, someone who could not take opioid (?) meds. I told my wife; so, if in the future I have surgery and somehow come home with vics they will be flushed. She will even be with me during a pre op visit to be sure I inform the doc about the red flag. I also told a friend that has given me Norcos in the past (he will be on them forever probably, but somehow has not increased his usage in over ten years!) what has happened, that I am an addict, and told him no matter what, to tell me to go back to hell if I ever hint at getting a pill from him.
I also have a friend who's in the medical field, and he said that there are some alternative meds out there that are non addictive. That's good to know.
And Lulu, you mentioned that this site is usually quiet on weekends. It seems like it would be busy; the weekends are when my usage would increase a pill or two.
Another question...I have been taking a very mild, over the counter sleep aid for the past two nights. I'm not sure if it's just in my head, or if it is really helping, or if time has passed and I'm sleeping better, but it seems that I'm sleeping a little better. Still wake up several times a night, but manage six or seven hours of very broken sleep. Sometimes I'm up for over a half hour before drifting off again, Anyway, the stuff is meletonin (sp?) and camimille (sp?) based, that's it. All natural. But, I don't want to start depending on it, physically or mentally, in order to sleep. How long would it be ok to use? I know everyone's different, so just a suggestion/opinion would be helpful.
You can use it indefinitely...Melatonin is natural as is the Chamomile. Melatonin can be bought separately,too. Oh and we make Melatonin in our bodies,or we supposed to, so it's good stuff. It's a hormone and it's produced by the pineal gland in our brains (uh oh!).
I'm really surprised by how well you're sleeping. It's usually horrible for just about everyone. Must be that attitude!
I'm really surprised by how well you're sleeping. It's usually horrible for just about everyone. Must be that attitude!
Vicki:
Well, the sleep is not great, but I guess better than some. But, tonight is another night. I think a lot of it for me is telling my wife, etc. The pressure to get a good night's sleep so I can do things the next day is off. Everyone knows what I'm trying to do. It's a mind game, but helps.
Oh, and I'm impressed that you know where Melatonin comes from, and that you spelled everything correctly. Another thing to look forward to.
Well, the sleep is not great, but I guess better than some. But, tonight is another night. I think a lot of it for me is telling my wife, etc. The pressure to get a good night's sleep so I can do things the next day is off. Everyone knows what I'm trying to do. It's a mind game, but helps.
Oh, and I'm impressed that you know where Melatonin comes from, and that you spelled everything correctly. Another thing to look forward to.
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I love that album...and I'm younger than your oldest kid(:
The sleep thing takes patience and letting go...Trust me I was obsessed with not getting enough sleep..which of course caused me anxiety which prevented me from sleeping....
I know it is awful...But it will get better...every day...Promise...Just keep doing all the good things that you're doing....Lu