Need Advice: Talking to 8 yo abt. longer rehab for Mom

[Strong_Mom_4_Abby]

Hi Family.  I am off the Opana ER now, and off the Suboxone, (which I had to detox AGAIN FROM).  I have been a week after the last detox in a therapy rehab program in Florida.  I live with my daughter of 8-years-old and my husband in GA.  Prior to being away for this last 11 day detox and week of rehab. concealing process, i was away in March for 10 days for the Opana detox and two weeks of this counseing rehab program.  I have been away for most of March and April facing my issues.  Prior to that it was a "hard taper to lower the amount of Opana for 4 months."  I don't know how she was effected by this time either.  Clearly I wasn't a strong, clear mother.

Recently she told me "please come home mom.  I need you.  But I don't want to say anything that will make you come home earlier (my husband in his desire to support me has told Abigail this).  I think it will be life-changing for me to stay here for 2 more weeks.  I am broken-hearted over it, and have a way of taking things like this out of perspective (i.e. I know i am doing this to help her).  And I am having a lot of rebound pain after the two Opiates over a period of 5 years.  It will be good for me to stay here at this counseling program to learn to live through this rebound pain as well.

We have a counseling session today here in Florida.  How would you suggest I help Abigail understand I am doing this program for her, instead of Mommy being away to make her sad.  I really appreciate any suggestions you may have.  This is breaking my heart.  Abigail has grown up with a mom suffering from back pain and drug addiction (prescription pill) for most of her life.  I want things to be so different.  I want to be a strong Mother in our home that isn't struck by panic and fear at every corner. I think I can make great gains if I stay in Florida longer.

I am wanting to have a good life with her, even if I have to live with pain.  My husband is supportive and has been wonderful with our daughter.  Please give me counsel.  We are a Christian family, so godly counsel is so appreciated.  I am a member of AA also.  I stopped drinking 16 years ago, but developed back and pain issues over the last decade).

Thanks so much,
Marie

[hiwpew523]

It is obvious you are a devoted and loving mother. You are very concerned for your daughter and eager to spend time with her in a "norma" and healthy life.

That is why you really should give yourself the two weeks extra.  You must be as ready as possible to come home and start life fresh.  I have no doubt your daughter will rebound from this; and you will too.
Can you spend some time writing a note to your daughter that she can read each day while you are gone?  Perhaps having something to look forward to each day...a funny story about her baby years or something....would make her days a little better while mommy is getting better.

Best of luck to you.  You can do it.  God has brought you to the point of wanting to put things back together. He will not leave the work undone.

[Pat1956100]

I agree with Minn.  If you need to stay for 2 more weeks to become a better mother then it is so worth it. Mommy's get sick and need to stay in the hospital some time to get better.
You have been give a wonderful opportunity in a rehab center which most of us would love to have.    
You said it would be life changing for you to stay for 2 more weeks so you know what you have to do.
I am sure that they can help you address this with your daughter.
Please let us know how you make out.  It sounds like you have a wonderful life awaiting you.

[minn66]

Hi, Marie. I would suggest that you ask this question during your counseling session. I'm sure this question has been raised before and they can help you with an honest, yet age appropriate way of telling her you need to stay longer.
Best of luck God Bless,

Minn