The past 4 days have been nothing but a big blur!!! For those of you who dont know my story, i will try and recap it for you as best and as brief as i can. My husband and i have been addicted to oxycodone for the past year. Our habit ran about 120-180 mg for each of us. We had the same pain management dr. So we would often share our pills with one another. We went from eating them, to snorting them , to shooting them up. And when we would run out of pills and couldnt get a refill for x amount of days, we would resort to gettin heroin just to get thru till we could get more pills to avoid the wd. At first, for me.... It was all about treating my physical pain for an actual injury. When i became addicted to the pills ( which was quickly) i had no idea what i was in store for. My husband is a wonderful man. Hes an amazing husband but like alot of us... Is an addict. He was a heroin addict, opiate addict for 13 years. Got sober for. 2 years . Then he had a slip and fall injury that should have crippled him which led to him being treated for the pain with the oxy. When i saw how well i worked for him and after talking to my dr, he prescribed me the same thing. And the hell began. We decided to get clean.... Last week. We dumped the rest of the pills we had and began to detox Thursday. Its now Monday. We had tried several times before to stop but the wd symptoms were so bad we resorted to get back on the pills or the heroin, whichever was easier to get a hold of. We both have jobs 2 kids, 1 is 11 years old and our oldest is 16. The wd would be so bad we would have to miss work and with our busy household, we couldnt miss work, get the kids going, and keep our household going..... So now that we r going on day 5 i cant believe we made it. Like i said the past few days have been a huge blur! I dont remember hardley anything. Because we couldnt afford rehab, and i couldnt tell my family as i was afraid to..... My husbands grandmother turned her home into a rehab center for us. She made sure we stayed hydrated, and she took care of us. We ended up in the hospital saturday as i felt very weak ... The drs there prescribed me clonodine. They would not prescribe us suboxone. Which is what we really wanted. We heard how wonderful it has worked for people and figured that would be our best bet. They refused to help us and sent us home. My aunt came down to help.... Since we didnt have a car, she drove us to hollywood , i called my dr on his cell phone and i believe i told him everything and that we needed help. He agreed to meet me at 6 pm. After our meeting, he gave is a script for suboxone. And let me tell you... Its a miRacle drug. And im so thankful that im beginning the road to sobriety! I have a long way to go and im hoping that i dont need another script of subs and i can try and taper myself down. Physically im still a bit weak. A lil shaky. I dont have hot and cold sweats tho which is good. No chills, i get a little restless still, but i guess thats to be expected. I thank God for me being able to get the suboxone. No way we would be able to make it without it. AnywAy im waiting for the depression to kick in.... Ive already expierienced the dissconnection feeling... Does it come back? Can anyone tell me what else i can expect at this point? Please everyone... Talk to me... Your encouraging words mean so mch and are helping me so much :)