HI Pat just wanted to chim in and say congrats on a week clean your off to a great start push forward with the consoling the pills are just a small part of whats really going on it will help keep you clean good luck and God bless..........Gnarly
Hey Pat, a huge congratulations, I know this has been a big long struggle for you and I am proud of you!!!!! Keep going and don't give up. You are a dear and fine person and you deserve everything good.
Meegan
Thanks so much my sweet friends.
Your support just makes me stronger.
I know I have relapsed many times and that is why ImDone and Vicki are pushing me lol. They are worried about me and I am worried too at times.
I am terrified of using again. So terrified that I am going to go see the addiction counselor. I am really afraid of doing that but the fear of using again has outweighed the fear of admitting my problem to a complete stranger. I really wish it wasn't a group setting and I know I am going to be on here for support on Monday before my appointment but I have to do it to remain clean. I am so tired of trying to do this my way. It just doesn't work.
We are all worried honey and want you to do this! You couldnt have said it better when you said "trying this my way just doesnt work" BINGO! I had to figure that out too because all those relapses I had, I did it MY way and didnt think I needed help, or support or anything. Boy was I wrong!
Your going to be fine Pat! I know you are...Well be here for you Before your appt on Monday AND after!!
That's right, it doesn't work and most of us had to find that out the hard way (me included). But that's okay, pat, because you're staying open-minded about everything and that's exactly what we have to do. Honestly, if we knew how to get clean, we wouldn't be in the mess we're in to begin with. We need help and there's no shame in that. Everybody needs help sometime in their lives. Why we put so much pressure on ourselves, sheesh!
And you almost have another day under your belt so try not to let yourself get depressed tonight or get too much in your own head. This is a good thing you're doing for yourself, pat, so don't forget that.
Try a good movie, something to make you laugh (or cry - those helped me too). Or do a simple chore around the house. It will help.
I am making a nice dinner and going to watch tv. It's Friday night and I get to relax and enjoy it.
One more day clean. One more day closer to getting my life back.
Have you ever noticed how hugs feel better when you are clean? How the fresh air feels better when you are clean? I am just noticing a couple of the things that feel better. I know there are so many more things but so far I like it. I really, really like it.
The only advice I can give is to just keep moving forward! I know I say that over and over again! Some days it will be very small things, other days it will be huge tasks! You will get through all of this in your own time! Don't let yourself get overwhelmed! For me, it is so easy to do, and that is when I crave the worst!
Take care my dear friend! I'm behind you all the way no matter what you chose! I know you will choose and clean, happy, and healthy life! You are well on your way!