Day 8 and CAVING!

[opiateswon]

I feel like a total looser right now cause I helped my husband get through yesterdays cravings and now I'm having my own. I think I'm more likely to give in because I have to have tumors removed and they'll give me pain meds anyway. What the heck am I supposed to do? I'm so lost and I don't know if 1 will hurt me, but I'm sick and tired of being "sick and tired"! HELP

[helpme101107]

You mentioned that your pancreas and stomach were bleeding from  extreme doses of painkillers and other meds. How was it determined that your stomach & pancreas were bleeding? Was it only caused from the painkillers or the mixture with the other meds? How long did it take to stop bleeding?? I am wondering becuase I am addicted to Lortab 10's and was taking approx. 40 daily, then I started vomiting a lot, my stomach constantly cramping, making rumbling noises and sometimes diarrhea. I did tell the Dr. that I had been taking Lortab, but didnt tell him how much, he gave me antibiotics an zantac, can you give advice, I am still suffering, and have still not given up the pills. Thank You, also I will be praying for you.

[cathy5841]

hun, it is not a matter of letting us down...it is a matter of doing what is best for you from a medical stand point.  if you are being honest and taking only as directed, meds which are prescribed to you, maybe you should wait until the tumors are removed before you try to quit.  this is just my opinion, some may disagree with me.  i hope you get some relief soon.

[opiateswon]

I'm stil hanging by threads but I have pain meds in my possesion now and I'm not sure if it's the answer but I need a break> I'm sorry

[dominosarah]

I am really sorry to hear about your skin cancer.  Is it Melanoma?  Keep fighting this and dont let your spirit get too down.  Easier said than done i know.  Sending you a gynormous hug from Minnesota.

[opiateswon]

Thank you for posting! I have valuim for sleep but I quit taking it and didn't try a sleep aid last night to see if I could do it on my own. Today is two of my daughter's birthdays and I'm so weak I can't even take a shower to bring their cupcakes to school. I did take my husband vitamins that he forgot to take today but I wanted him to give me some pain meds. His brother hurt his shoulder at work last week and has a bottle at work and I'm so close to telling him to bring me some. I went days without my pain killers, forgetting them or not feeling like I needed any and I don't know if I'm addicted as I've stated that I'm a control freek and cannot take anything for a high. I used my meds if or when I actually needed them and for no other reason. I got up after c-sections and walked without help, but this cancer in my body is SOO different. I'm going to lay down for awhile to try and rest, but I think I've already let soo many down here that have helped me make it this far. Thank you for responding. I've never felt so alone before.

[cathy5841]

i am sorry to hear about your cancer.  in your situation in may be necessary to take some pain meds...i am not encouraging youto take meds, it just may be medically necessary to get some relief...that does not mean you should abuse them though.  this is a very hard call...i admire you for wanting to do this without meds.  do you think you are addicted or physically dependent on the meds?  there is a big difference.  sarah is right about the lack of sleep.  have you asked the dr for a sleep aid?  i am gonna add you to my prayer list.  if you need to chat feel free to pm me anytime.

[opiateswon]

I had skin cancer that has spread to my lymph nodes. Because of my modesty i wasn't willing to be examined 5 years ago when it was first discovered and I'm paying the price for it now. My pancreas and stomach were bleeding from the pain killers irration and the extreeme doses of 9 different meds I was taking. I woke up one day and decided I didn't want to be a slave to anything and quit taking the meds. Unfortunately the tumors have since multiplied and grown in size and I don't have as much will to fight anymore. I'm choosing quantity over quality and I don't know if I can do this anymore. I've never broken a law to get pills or taken more than I was supposed to and I didn't run out. I'm around other cancer patients that take pain pills and I find myself asking why I'm doing this?

[dominosarah]

What type of cancer do you have??  I am really sorry to hear this.  The mental part of this is the hardest.  Sleep deprivation doesnt help either with the mental part either.  You have alot on your plate right now.

[opiateswon]

Thanks! Unfortunately the pills are all around me and I can't think about this rationally today. I chose to quit the pain meds to have my mentality back and live as long as I can for my family, but today is all down hill. I worked my body so hard yesterday to get housework and other obligations accomplished and I didn't sleep last night. My pre-op is tomorrow and although I can vocally say, "no pain killers", my dr's are looking at me like I'm punishing myself for having cancer. Maybe I am.... The physical part was so easy, but now I'm in the mental and I'm so weak.

[Sunnyd210]

Sara you took the words right out of my mouth! You can do this 8 days is GREAT it will start getting better soon!!

[dominosarah]

You did the right thing by posting here.  You are NOT a loser.  Take some deep breathes and get yourself busy.  Your brain is just playing tricks on you right now.  When i came on to this site Crispy posted in a thread 1 is too many and a 1000 isnt enough.  You dont need that 1 pill.  You can get off this roller coaster ride.  I see you have surgery coming up.  Is there anyone that can hold the pills for you??  You dont have to be sick and tired anymore.  Keep fighting this.....You can do it!!!!      sara