Percocet withdrawal

[duluthguy]

I injured my neck in an accident, started getting some percs from my doc, then found other percy friends that readily traded/sold pills. My doc cut me off but I had too many connections. It has been 2 long years, I'm a father of many children, wonderful wonderful family. boy is it scary to quit. I'm determined, mad, but my wife has no idea i'm even taking them. I love her dearly, yet this drug makes me do things I would never do otherwise. I really really hope I can do this. Pray for me, its a rough road... The phone numbers i have erased, my close addicted friend has been informed, and I hope I can do this. I have quit for a month before only to relapse in hope of the "good" feeling, i was immedeately hooked again. I just wanted to rant, I feel for all you out there that are in my shoes, I'm so so so happy for all you that have quit, i just pray i will be joining the quitters soon. Tomorrow is a new day, I know the next four to five will be miserable but I did stock up on the Thomas Recipe except for the valiums. Thanks and god bless you all out there!!

[duluthguy]

Its day 2, i might just be talking to myself, but I need to vent somewhere... I feel hot, my muscles don't ache so bad today. A shower this morning helped- I do feel a little bit more normal already, maybe this won't be as bad as some. It's very bearable- lots of advil and water, I did sleep all night which i'm sure was the clonidine... I fell asleep before my wife got home so she is still in the dark. I'm going to need her help to stay off them tho, so today I will sit her down and let her know. If i'm going to stay clean, i'm thinking the only way is to let all my family know so they can help. I do have a large close family, my pride is crumbling slowly... It was easier to tell them the first time around, this is a relapse and it is much much harder... but it is what it is, I just want to be clean. I know i'm rambling... I did want to say I don't think I could have done this without reading all these awesome inspiring stories, it can't even be described how awesome this website is. Without a doubt it is what gave me strength to kick away my best friend in a pill bottle, it's time to lean on my real friends... until later- good luck and god bless y'all!!

[sweatinit]

Hi and welcome!

It is a rough road and good for you that you have made the decision to stop. I couldnt agree with you more about telling your wife. I was so scared to tell my husband, becasue he always had the mentality of "just stop". He was so supportive and in some way, it brought us a bit closer. Our relationship suffered because of the pills.

I have had a few relapses myself and I think its because I didnt seek any aftercare. We can only white knuckle it for so long. Pray is a big part of my recovery. Knowing that I cannot do this on my own, in my own stength.

For  the w/d, vitamin water, bananas, food (if yeah can), hot baths and walking.

hang in there and stick around. It does help to know others are going thu or have gone thru the same thing.

K

[scaredoutofmymind333]

Good luck and God bless you too! 2 days is awesome so give yourself a pat on the back. This website is great and is also the reason I came clean to my Boyfriend, family, and work almost 2 months ago. I also relapsed after having 3 years opiate free, and while everyone was shocked and upset at first, when everything calmed down they helped and continue to help me with my sobriety. Except for my work of course, they fired me! LOL You sound very prepared for the withdrawals, I just want to send some encouragement your way. You did it before and can do it again... you know how good life can be drug free. 2 days is great and soon you will be feeling better, physically. I commend you on taking the first step to come clean, such a hard step to take. Please keep us updated on how you are doing!

[duluthguy]

Thank you both so much... I kicked the habit in may for about 5 weeks with the help of my family. Relapsed in June... I have an employee that has all the pills you can imagine, because I am the boss he freely gave me full bottles of whatever I wanted- I just had to give him a days notice... He is a big dealer, I have no idea how he gets them all but I never had to pay him directly for pills- I would pay indirectly in wage increases and gravy work- Now I have to let him go just because I do not have the strength to be around anyone who I might be able to get pills from... I just want to feel normal again- thanks for all your inspiration, I just hope i can see the end at some point

[dominosarah]

You will see the light at the end of the tunnel.  We say alot on here that getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard one.  You will feel alot better once you talk with your wife.  Come up with a plan for recovery care.  Using is just a symptom of what is going on.  Surround yourself with people who support your recovery.  I know this part is tough but you can do it.  Congrats on day 2~~~sara

[duluthguy]

Thank you! It sure seems like getting clean is the hard part right now, I am so determined to get clean it almost seems impossible that I would ever take another pill. But I have been through this once before, I ended up in the hospital with heart palpitations- stayed on Cardiac floor for 2 nights- thought i was done for life, convinced beyond a doubt!!! Then I was having a really good day and one of my employees had pills, I took a few percs (thought I was strong enuf) to celebrate a big contract we were awarded!! I was instantly hooked again and here I am again... pray I can be done, it is such a weakness for me... I need strength, words of comfort, and prayers right now... thanks so much

[dominosarah]

I am sending you a ton of strength.  Stay positive as you can do this!!  Go down to Grandmas Saloon and have some soup!!  That stuff is to die for~~~~sara

[duluthguy]

I agree, it is a great place to eat! I don't drink but they do make some great soup, burgers are great too!! Thanks!!

[dominosarah]

I love sitting there looking at Lake Superior~~~~~~

[duluthguy]

That is so neat that you live in my backyard!! Hehe, I am looking at the big pond as I type... I am feeling a bit better right now... this forum is un be lievable.... no words can describe the thankfulness towards you all right now.. It's gettin a little chillier, boy its a small world!!

[sweatinit]

Hi Again,

Real quick I just wanted to mention to be careful in how you fire this employee. You're right that it must be done, but you dont want any reprocusions...ya know?

You're doing great. Post back and let us know how things are progressing.

K

[duluthguy]

Maybe I worded that too harshly, I don't want to "fire" him persay, just lay him off in hopes that he will find a new job elsewhere. Anyone on here have any ideas on how i should handle this? Also, he is an employee and a relative of mine.... a close relative... I need some input,  i don't want to fail by not handling this right

[sweatinit]

From sn HR perspective, lay off is the best option. I'm not sure how many employees you have, and most ppl dont know this, but you cannot hire another employee for the same exact position/job for 6 months without offering it to the person you laid off. Now being that you're in construction, that most likely would not apply.
From a relative perspective, I would tell him the truth. You are no longer tkaing pills and do not want to see or hear about them. If he is a friend, he will respect that.
I have had to let 2 friends go becasue they just didnt get it. It sucked, but I am certainly stronger without that temptation around.
Good luck!!

[duluthguy]

Funny, after i posted that last post, guess who walked in my office!! Oh my, the temptations were almost overwhelming, good thing I was on this forum... He is packing his bags as we speak, and he said he understood completely... I told him that I cannot hear of or see any pills in the future, tho i have a feeling he will try to get me back on them... He has used the pills against me, manipulated many of my decisions, and was at one point making much more money than me- It's over now, he is gone, thank god- I really hope I can resist calling him or stopping by his house... strength strength strength

[sweatinit]

Nicely done and Yes, you can! As you'll read on here; you have to want this really badly! When you get the thought to call or stop by, you've got to remember where you were, both physically and mentally when you said enough.

Visuals work for me...I have looked at my sobriety like a path of stpping stones. Some stones I pass by quickly, others I stand on for awhile, But I can never take another step back. A step back could mean death and I am worth moving forward.

Again, prayer is also a really big part of my recovery and my ability to stay clean. So if you pray, that will help. God will hear your prayers.

[duluthguy]

Another obstacle just arose, my mom, who i am very very close too but haven't seen in months just flew in for a surprise visit... oh boy... i am not feeling my best and the cravings are strong... My mind keeps telling me to push this off til monday so i can get thru the weekend... one small step at a time... help!

[quinner]

You put so much into this already. You can say you came down with a bad flu...Ultimately its up to you but stay strong, stay the course. Your gonna have to do this all over again.

[DayToTry]

Yeah don't give up now!  You may even feel better tomorrow.  You never know, its different for everyone.  Just say you aren't feeling well.  Also, think , if you're mom knew the situation right now, what would she want you to do?

[sweatinit]

Dont do it Duluth...for me there was always a reason (legit) to put this off. Life happens. Honestly it might be a nice distraction for you. Keep your fluids going, take your vitamins and eat. You'll be alright. If you have to bb in bed for a while with a bug, then so be it. DOnt put this off any longer, man. You'll be happy on Monday when its all over!

HAs anyone told you about the Hyland Restful Leg for the RLS? It works terriifc.  

[duluthguy]

One battle after another!! Again, thanks for the support- i am so weak right now, but of course my dear mother would be so sad if i started because she flew in... I have to hold out, even if she has to visit me in the bedroom... The mind games are crazy, i still have the hot flashes, pins and needles, no RLS or diarhea- some pain but bearable with ibu... Thanks so much you all, what a wonderful group you are

[duluthguy]

Just had a crazy experience... I went and holed up in my office today, suffering every minute!! I was feeling a little better this afternoon when my wife called asking if i would stop and look at a bunkbed she found on craigslist... I begrudgingly agreed, and i stopped at this nice older couples house, bought the bunkbed and loaded it up... I then went back into the house and just what do you think I saw???? Today of all days??? At least 3 of the biggest pill bottles known to man of 7.5mg percocet, my best friends were sitting on these peoples counter!!! Why today?? I quickly left, now all i can think about is robbing them pills, please give me strength!!

[duluthguy]

I had to post this quick, before i really got serious with them crazy drug driven thoughts... one hour at a time at this point, i'm a sick addict who is leaning on the good people of this world... thanks from the bottom of my heart

[DayToTry]

Duluth you are doing good so far.  Please keep at it.  You wouldn't really go steal those pills would you?  Good god your mom is there, what if you got caught!  What would that do to her?

Tomorrow is day 3 three.  You never know ... you may feel better tomorrow.  Hang in there.  

[duluthguy]

I promise, the first thought i had standing in that kitchen was, how can i get my hands on them pills? I would never ever steal them, my worst offense is a speeding ticket, but i did have them thoughts... thats why i quick aired them out on here, i don't want to hold anything in, good or bad, here i am- thanks for your response... its keeping my world together right now