Please help me with my Percocet Addiction!

[mo2000]

Hi!

I come here today because I know I need a support group if I am ever going to be able to kick this habit.  I am a single mother to a 3 year old boy.  My life is nothing but stress, and his father gives me no type of child support, neither physical, emotional, or physical.  I have a wonderful mother, and wonderful siblings.  I was not a great teenager, always getting into trouble.  I got pregnant with my son at 22.  I was married to his father, and it turned out he was using me for his green card.  When I had my son, the performed a C-section.  I was given Percocet for this procedure.   Long story short, when I took these percs, the pain was GONE and I didn't dwell on my son's father day and night.  After my prescription ran out (it lasted about 2 days), and the dr wouldn't refill, I stopped taking them.  Then 7 weeks later, when I got a job, someone was selling them at the job. I was really going through it with my husband and I started buying them everyday to deal with my emotional problems that I was having.  They made me feel great, and not so emotional about the fact that this man was treating me SO BAD.  Ever since then, I'm addicted.  Now I finally go rid of the loser, and I have another loser to deal with.  This addiction.  I decided last night that I was going to quit today.  Unfortunately, the withdrawal was unbearable.  I have to work and take care of my son.  I can not tell my mom about this, as she is not understanding about addictions. She told me when I had my son that he was MY son.  I carry that with me, and know she has 2 jobs and is not able to stop her life to take my son while I go to a rehab or even just while I detox.  I had so many things I had to do today,  I just couldn't do them with those symptoms so I bought 10 end 10.  I want to stop!  Please, someone describe how I can taper off of them, starting the first day (tomorrow) with 5 perc 10.  Please I want my life back!  I can't afford a week off of work or a week away from my son.  I will be forever grateful if someone can give me a way to do this that doesn't interrupt my entire life.  Thank you!

[peaceinknowing]

I know this isn't a post you started, but I just wanted to say that I'm glad to see that you're back here on the forums doing what you seemingly do best, and that is helping others through what we call recovery -- HAHA -- I also wanted to let you know that you're in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that everything gets better for you after the surgery in which you just had to go through last week.

[Cissy373]

You said so many things that helped me.......and boy I wont say I won't ever use again, cause truly I don't know that...........I surely pray I wont. I just have each minute ahead of me that I won't use, thats all I can promise myself.

I hope I never use again...........but time will tell.

Also what you said about staying busy, that helps a alot, keep the ole mind busy and your not just dwelling on the fact that you want a pill.

I just pray the day comes when I won't want another pill.

Everybody hang in there this is a new day that God has made.

Cissy

[tylersblueeyedmama]

Hey,

I know this is tough, but you did are doing the right thing!  Just look into your little boy's eyes and like you said...it makes it all worth it!  I wish you would have called me...I told you I would be here for you! You are an amazing person and a great mom!!!  You can do this!!!!  I will call you later today :)

Lots of Love,
K

[peaceinknowing]

I truly admire your coming here to this posting and putting what you did. It helped even me, believe it or not. Today I am 20 days sober from percocets and I know just what you're talking about when you say that an idle mind is the devil's workshop! This is my main reasoning for going out with my friends to the pool [now that it's summertime] and going our for walks, jogs and just driving around in my car with the music blaring out loud. To heck with everyone else if they don't like Aerosmith anymore, it WILL get played in my car right now! HAHAHAHAHA!

[Insert my dry humor right here. HAHA!]

[chrissy23]

Hey mo2000, i just spent the last hour reading all of ur post and the responses. I to am a recovering addict from pain killers. and have resently relasped. I am a 22 year old cook at a restraunt had 2 years clean under my belt and lost it. I am not proud of it but the first thing i did was tell everyone. Because to get it off ur chest is so much more important then holding it in. Never be asshamed to tell anyone. u think u are the first to relaspe. well ur not thats why they call it an addiction. I do have some words of wisdom for you after reading your last post.

1st. u will never get the same high u use to get EVER EVER AGAIN. Thats the reason why we contiue to use drugs over and over again to chase that first high we ever got.
2nd. the sleep will get better everyday. u saying i havnt gotten much sleep so im gonna use, is just the addiction justifying urself to use again ( when i say use i mean take pills). ur mind will jusifty so many things for using again. They say cravings for pill only last for 20 seconds then they pass. and they say the main reason why u get cravings is casue ur mind is to idle. An idle mind is the devils workshop.
3rd. The main thing that i did to reduce cravings was keep my mind and body moving, move the body and the brain will follow. Workout go running, play games, read watcha  movie anything. and take nice hot and cold bathes. a saying that i was told was HALT hungry, angry, lonley, tired. If you avoid all those things ur craving will be reduced so much.
and one last thing i have to say. never say to urself i dont plann on using ever casue we dont know that. all u have to do is say im not gonna use today ill use tomm, then when tomm comes say it again im not gonna use today ill use tomm, and guess what tomm never comes, its always today. Keep in the day. never have one foot in the future and one foot in the past, cause all ur doing is pissing on the present lol.

well i hope at least 1 thing i said has helped u if so then my work here is done. My thoughts and prays are with u. God bless and good luck im here for u.
love
chris

[peaceinknowing]

I have no tough love words to give to you right now, sorry. What you're saying to me above is nothing less and nothing more than normal. You're trying the best you know how and that's all that anyone can do through something like this. We're all struggling with the same exact thing whether one person relapses and another does not. You and I are still in this together, and I have no problem in pretending to be back at day one right wlong with you -- HEHE -- I just don't want you to think that this is something to be embarassed about, because if that were the case then there would be a lot of embarassed souls out there on the forums, trust me.

This is what we call life when there's an addiction involved in the mix of everything when you put it all together. You and I will come out on top of this, and those are the only words of wisdom I can share with you at this time; No tough love here as I know that we are all only human!