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Chronic pain and addiction
Hi! I have been dealing with a disease called interstitial cystitis now for the past seven years. This is a very painful chronic disease that there is no cure for. Up until two years ago I was using pain medications but then I became addicted to them and begin to abuse them. I put myself through rehab and now I am drug-free. With that being said I still deal with daily chronic pain on a scale of 1 to 10 my pain being an average of five. I am very depressed and I just don't see how I can live daily with this pain. I feel like I'm just sinking deeper and deeper into a hole of sadness. Since there is no cure for this disease I just feel like I have no hope. I cannot use pain medication, but oh sometimes I just really want to start using again just to make a pain and the world go away.
Best Answer
I haven't been over there yet, but plan too check it out, there is also a Pain Management forum. Which would be a good site if they discuss treatments and remedies, and not just pain meds.
Thank you all for your comments. I'm glad I joined this group on the site.
I have IC also. I'm nine months clean. It's hard. The thing is, on pills, after a couple years I had breakthrough pain, which scared me. Sure I could have gone to a stronger med, but I was already on Roxie's. So, if I kept going up every couple years, I'd be in a real mess in say, ten years when nothing worked. Then what? Spend the rest of my life in misery?
Also, the pills were robbing me of my personality. I was so depressed. So I just stopped. I told myself I could deal with a year or so off, give my body a break. I had had some success prior with the combo of meds shot into the bladder, after much trial and error, some didn't work, but finally a concoction that included a med that number the bladder for about 5-7 days gave me relief. Not pain free, but relief. Down side was I had to be under anesthisia every Friday, then I lost my insurance.
Now I use ice and a tens unit, and constantly check drug trials and studies in hopes that they are finding a treatment or cure. I have to believe they will. I even pray for an effective pain med for all types of pain, that is non addictive so less people get in this mess of opiate use. And with the strides drug companies are making, I believe they will. I mean, theyre on a break through for an Aids vaccine. They have discovered German Sherpards can detect Ovarian Cancer! Its coming!! One day at a time is all I can do.
Have you tried a food diary? It took months but I have found foods that if eaten, will have me in the floor crying and in a ball.
As hard as it is, we have to keep the hope. Without it, we have nothing.
Hugs and good luck to you.
Also, the pills were robbing me of my personality. I was so depressed. So I just stopped. I told myself I could deal with a year or so off, give my body a break. I had had some success prior with the combo of meds shot into the bladder, after much trial and error, some didn't work, but finally a concoction that included a med that number the bladder for about 5-7 days gave me relief. Not pain free, but relief. Down side was I had to be under anesthisia every Friday, then I lost my insurance.
Now I use ice and a tens unit, and constantly check drug trials and studies in hopes that they are finding a treatment or cure. I have to believe they will. I even pray for an effective pain med for all types of pain, that is non addictive so less people get in this mess of opiate use. And with the strides drug companies are making, I believe they will. I mean, theyre on a break through for an Aids vaccine. They have discovered German Sherpards can detect Ovarian Cancer! Its coming!! One day at a time is all I can do.
Have you tried a food diary? It took months but I have found foods that if eaten, will have me in the floor crying and in a ball.
As hard as it is, we have to keep the hope. Without it, we have nothing.
Hugs and good luck to you.
OH hun, i feel for you i really do. I hear your pain in your words and I'm so sorry, i do believe we all need to reach "our bottom" in order to take charge of our lives again, and we are very fortunate we are ALIVE. I took way to many pills, started hallucinating in the mirror and seeing my face as a skeleton i woke up on the bathroom floor in my own vomit, that was my bottom!! Came clean to hubby and told him i need help and off to rehab i went, after several slips, I'm back at 7 months clean and YES, i still crave those dam pills! I go through the up's and down's with depression and see a therapist once a week, and I'm trying my hardest to lean on my faith and asking for help. I just do what i can do, some days are hard and i feel really low, an example is my girls asked me if i could take them to the State Fair and i had to tell them that "Mommy can't walk the fair", it broke my heart to tell them that, knowing that if i had a few pills i could be super mom and go walk the fair, but nope, i had to tell them no, thats what makes me depressed. But after some rational thought, i say to myself, at least I'm alive for my girls and at least they have there Mommy clean. Hang in there, we all have our good and bad days, and i hope tomorrow is a GOOD day:-)
I have been off the pain Meds since July 19, 2012. I tried to commit suicide by overdose May 30, 2012. I was admitted to a psych hospital for two weeks. I just couldn't handle the pain anymore and I was fighting severe depression. After I was discharged I made it a few weeks but I just couldn't stop the cravings. I lied to myself and my husband and went to the ER at least 3 times for morphine and dilaudid. Finally after the hospital admitted me, my family doctor came into my room and told me he was done. He told me they were not going to find my body with his name on the bottle! I think that and my husband telling me he couldn't trust me anymore was my bottom. I checked myself into a rehab program. It's been one year July 19th and I still crave the evil stuff. I battle depression due to the pain and I am going through a real low right now.
Girl, "TIME" is the operative word!! I know we all hate that word, i have zero patience, but coming off of 400 oxy, it does time. I came off of 10mg of Diluid, so i know what 400 oxy is, not fun.
Thank u Dane, I needed to hear that!!...after being on almost 400mg oxy a day, I'm sooooooo hoping my pain will settle down!!!...I don't have anyone to hold my pills, that would just lead me to disaster...I'm an all or nothing ...thanks girl!!!...hope ur happy & NOT in pain!! xxoo :)
I to tried having my husband give them to me and I too would lie.
Hi IChurts and Teri, i do not have IC but i sure have my own problems with chronic pain, and like you became addicted and then abused, then put myself through rehab and clean now. It does take some time for our bodies to adjust to being without the meds usually around 30 days or so and then you can really analyze the pain. I felt like my pain was worse in the beginning of my recovery (rebound pain) and then it started to level out and i also believe that i became accustomed to the pain levels without pain meds. Pain is my worst trigger, but with some help of natural remedies i am still learning how to deal with life in pain. As for what vicki had stated, can you have someone hold your pills and take ONLY as needed? I know i cant do that, i tried, and i started abusing them in 2 days, i would lie that i was in pain when i was fine, so for me its not an option but i hope it could be an option for you. Living in pain is just horrific, and honestly i do not have a clue what IC is but for me i can rest and take it easy and that does help alleviate some of my pain. I truly hate this for you and only wish you well.
The instills did NOTHING for me!!!...I've tried several things..all that help me. r painkillers & I don't want to take them anymore!!!!...sick of being a a slave to a pill bottle!!! :(
Vic is a nurse Hon....
Teri, I have tried instills and unfortunately no help. Currently I am trying CystaQ. This disease is crap!!
Vicki do you have IC?
Thanks Vic!...thats sweet & so nice to hear u say, u know much people SUFFER w/it!!!...
Wow!!..I could've written ur post!!!...I have IC...going thru it & withdrawal as we speak!!..have u tried bladder installations, they did NOTHING for me...also watching ur diet, but EVERY little thing can trigger it!!!...all my Dr does is throw oxy at me..to the point I was on most days 400mg...I.have seriously been thru hell these last 2wks trying to get off it!!...thrown up for 2wks straight & hardly any food!!!...lost at least 10lbs & I'm scared to lose more!!..I KNOW ur pain, no one gets it unless they've had it!!...was ur IC pain worse when coming off opiates & then lessoned...BC OMG if this is the pain I'm gonna have EVERYDAY..don't know if I can get thru w/out taking something!!!...if u want, u can PM me & we could talk...sending hugs & support!...love, Teri :)
Hi- Is there someone who can hold the pills for you and just give you one every 8 hours or once every day?
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