Aa
Quitting painkillers?
I'm not sure if this will work or not, or if I'm even in the right place but let's see.. I'm max I've been on painkillers for 5 years now and it's been hell!! I realized I was addicted when I scheduled my whole life around them and when I had to keep upping my dosage in order to feel the high. Anyways Im trying to withdrawal and its chaos, what I'm feeling is it normal? The upset stomach, and insomia and so so so much more. I've been dope sick in between refills but never more than a couple days but this physiological war is unreal!! What do I do?
Congrats on 25 days Max! I'm on day 11 and have caught a cold. Completely down for the count.
Looking forward to Saturday it will be the 1 month marker!! Hard to believe it's been 25 days days already though it has been a hard long 25 days ha. Wish I could lay around today but can't yall have a good day!!
Well on day 24 now, and it has returned with full force.. I worked all day and didn't get home till midnight tried to go to bed and that wasn't happening, so I've been up 43 hours straight now (not even a nap). So I got frustrated and mentally started beating myself up, " you'll never be happy again" " **** my life" type of thinking. Ahh just a horrible a time, and it's college football day.. So anyways just a little report, madmax feels like having a mood swing and breaking stuff ha. Jifmoc I've attended 5 meetings at my local NA though mine only meets up 3 days a week.
Hey Max, let me tell you, no energy at 23 days is NORMAL. As I say, you are right on schedule. I know 3 weeks feels like an eternity but it is a blip in time. You used for 5 years, you have to give your brain and body a chance to heal. This will take time.
Also, sorry if I missed it but have you started aftercare yet? I cannot even express the importance of it enough. Your depression is just one of the many issues that will be alleviated once you start to work on your addict brain. You will only do that by changing your old routine and submerging yourself in support w/ other addicts.
P.S.- I never (lol) say I'm never using again. That depresses the crap out of me. You know that this is a one day at a time thing. That's why that saying exists. I will not use today and that's all I'm promising. That's all we need to do.
Also, sorry if I missed it but have you started aftercare yet? I cannot even express the importance of it enough. Your depression is just one of the many issues that will be alleviated once you start to work on your addict brain. You will only do that by changing your old routine and submerging yourself in support w/ other addicts.
P.S.- I never (lol) say I'm never using again. That depresses the crap out of me. You know that this is a one day at a time thing. That's why that saying exists. I will not use today and that's all I'm promising. That's all we need to do.
Vicky Ive been drinking a protein shake, I workedout regularly for the last 5 years. That was until withdrawals . Finding the "want to" and "energy" has been an issue I've only worked out 4 times in the last 23 days so it's *****. I love exercise and lighting weights naturally that's been a hobby of mine for awhile. I know I need to do more like I use to but dealing with all this plus keeping up with life it gets hectic. So trying not to over whelm myself, far as like actual fruit I've been eating bananas but that's about it, lol I have no energy when I get home to cook. Plus my wife isn't the best cook so we retired her apron awhile ago. Anyways if you think vitamins would help a lot I don't mind going to the store and checking it out. Just let me know what kinds i heard gaba was good. Anyways you know we're so thankful for you, you do the same for me which is "helping". I've been snapshotting your comments as well as clean in ks, just so I can have it for when I'm at the store haha. So you've been an angle anyways take care
TommyTom16 as I reread all the post, yours caught my eye you were on day "23" when you commented and that's what I'm on now. You said you feel good mentally just lacking in energy but you force yourself. Well that basically desribes me now on day 23 (when I get up and get going). Though when I'm at home depression does still hit me a bit I don't know if I'm not doing something my mind wonders, which leads to a thought about the pill and how I'm never doing it again which makes me sad. If I get going I'm great though, still not much energy but I'm aware and it's been awhile since I've been that. Anyways if you ever see this give me a shout.
Nice reply Gettingmylifeback!
Max exercising is really a good one for bringing those Brain Chems back up. It fires up the Serotonin and Endorphin's and lots more. These were kind of knocked down during are using. Also those Receptors. We have them in our stomach too. That might be while you are so hungry now as these are unplugging..(sort of speaking). As far as the vit/min..you have to do some homework. I use some for relaxing and sleep and some for energy. Sometimes I do none at all! I do like my Amino-Acids. I get mine all compounded in one. All those Ls seem to help the Brain.
I could not take any caffeine at all because of these 3 meds I stopped at once sent my Anxiety into Orbit! However, after a few weeks I was eating them small chocolate candy bars at night. It raised my sugar level and then dropped it down to where i could sleep a few winks. Ha! Just be careful of the weight we can gain while trying to get better. That is why I say to eat Healthy as you can. Vegetables & Fruit will cost less then those TVs dinners BUT I did the same thing because I was to sick to cook. Ha!! I just suggest that you try not to eat that way for to long. I payed for it down the line.
Anyway..I just wanted to let you know that YOU have been a great inspiration out here. Gettingmylifeback has too! I still learn from each and everyone of you out here and this keeps me going in my Recovery too. I still go out and hit those meetings and church but this is a everyday thing out here. Thanks!
Bless
Max exercising is really a good one for bringing those Brain Chems back up. It fires up the Serotonin and Endorphin's and lots more. These were kind of knocked down during are using. Also those Receptors. We have them in our stomach too. That might be while you are so hungry now as these are unplugging..(sort of speaking). As far as the vit/min..you have to do some homework. I use some for relaxing and sleep and some for energy. Sometimes I do none at all! I do like my Amino-Acids. I get mine all compounded in one. All those Ls seem to help the Brain.
I could not take any caffeine at all because of these 3 meds I stopped at once sent my Anxiety into Orbit! However, after a few weeks I was eating them small chocolate candy bars at night. It raised my sugar level and then dropped it down to where i could sleep a few winks. Ha! Just be careful of the weight we can gain while trying to get better. That is why I say to eat Healthy as you can. Vegetables & Fruit will cost less then those TVs dinners BUT I did the same thing because I was to sick to cook. Ha!! I just suggest that you try not to eat that way for to long. I payed for it down the line.
Anyway..I just wanted to let you know that YOU have been a great inspiration out here. Gettingmylifeback has too! I still learn from each and everyone of you out here and this keeps me going in my Recovery too. I still go out and hit those meetings and church but this is a everyday thing out here. Thanks!
Bless
See at the times I feel like caving are usually when I have energy but no way of using it, so caffeine sounds like a bad idea for me. See I workout quite often so not wanting to workout is weird for me, I know the opiates didn't make me like working out so it's weird, though after I do workout it feels great!! My diet is complete ****, I have my own house and a lot of bills so fresh salmon isn't an option right now plus I've spent a lot on immodium etc etc. so I've been eating sandwiches, cereal, TV dinners and such and I'm still starving. I'm hungry now then I have been in years, it's weird to fill hunger!! I use to skip meals if it was time for dope so it's actually funny to not be skipping meals. Ya hot baths are life savers I've been taking quite a few. I'm the same way I think positive attitudes and outlooks will help the brain recover and get over addiction. Though I see the videos of relaspe in the brain, it's a touchy subject that needs to be answered. Anyways I actually got no sleep last night what so ever so today defiantly *****!!
I guess we will have to be our own analytic engine. Keep a journal of what you eat, when you exercise, have a hot bath etc. Also record how you are feeling every hour on the hour and how you respond to stimuli. Ive found milk chocolate helps as well as hot caffein free tea. I take so many vitamins I can't tell which ones are working or not, so I will take note of how I'm feeling when I stop them. I don't believe we have done permanent damage. The brain is a glorious creature and is totally capable of regenerating. I can feel it happening already. Most importantly, I truly believe positive thinking is key to a successful recovery.
Msdelight that worked, thank you!! Getting my life back, I'm the same way.. I've been reading, watching and studying all about this and there's still way to much unanswered. Obviously they don't have all the answers but my mind will push for it or at least some hypothesis. We understand " dopamine" is released when swallowing your opiate or when you do anything you like, for example eat I e cream and it could release some dopamine. They say anything that surprises you and you enjoy it it will release dopamine. Then there's "Glutamate" which is where the dopamine goes when released if I'm not mistaken. It tells the body that's good for you and sends down signals to say get more in order to survive. Examples like food, sex etc etc it's saying hey our body needs this keep doing it. So when we quit it goes into survival mode " not knowing if it's dying or what". everything our brain tells us In order to survive is now lower than its ever been and our bodies go in complete chaos. I'm pretty sure that's a safe explanation on a touchy subject.
Anyways leaves a lot of questions so I started looking into " how long it can take the brain to reset it's dopamine levels" etc etc.
If we messed up our transmitters by taking opiates and other drugs then how long could it take? Some reports say it could be permanent others say years while others say months or even weeks. Well being that I'm a addict and I have a sober mind now my brain is needing to learn, I guess to make up for lost time. So it leaves the questions like.. How much dopamine is our body currently producing on average? What's the average for an addict? How long could it take for it to get somewhat normal again?
Coming to realize all these questions have yet to be answered. America doesn't take addiction that serious or we really don't want to address it cause this is crap!!! I see why so many recommend AA/NA, there's people in these groups that have studied and searched for the answers before I and they could help. Dealing with the glutamate sending down cravings into the core of our brain, and naturally we go into survival mode which is why we relaspe among other reasons stress, life etc etc. NA helps us cope with these feeling of survival and/or withdrawal, someone to call when of need of support, among many many other reasons. So I'm searching for answers as well just I know there not all going to be answered and that's the worst part!!
Anyways leaves a lot of questions so I started looking into " how long it can take the brain to reset it's dopamine levels" etc etc.
If we messed up our transmitters by taking opiates and other drugs then how long could it take? Some reports say it could be permanent others say years while others say months or even weeks. Well being that I'm a addict and I have a sober mind now my brain is needing to learn, I guess to make up for lost time. So it leaves the questions like.. How much dopamine is our body currently producing on average? What's the average for an addict? How long could it take for it to get somewhat normal again?
Coming to realize all these questions have yet to be answered. America doesn't take addiction that serious or we really don't want to address it cause this is crap!!! I see why so many recommend AA/NA, there's people in these groups that have studied and searched for the answers before I and they could help. Dealing with the glutamate sending down cravings into the core of our brain, and naturally we go into survival mode which is why we relaspe among other reasons stress, life etc etc. NA helps us cope with these feeling of survival and/or withdrawal, someone to call when of need of support, among many many other reasons. So I'm searching for answers as well just I know there not all going to be answered and that's the worst part!!
I'm a fact based person to. Type A personality. I want to know what to expect, what helps, how long is the recovery, physically what's happening in my brain and mentally what the challenges will be. Wishy washy answers don't help. I'm sure that this data base must go into some analytic engine. This data is gold. This web site should provide the people who are feeding it with the analized data stating all the facts we are looking for.
oh geez the whole point of the diatribe on dopamine and I didnt even make my point....lol... so anyway I was thinking abut your cravings and the thing I wanted to say was that humans need to eat to survive as an individual adn procreate to survive as a species so our brain evolved such that those things that were so important would take priority....dopamine is natures reward for us doing what it wants us to do....so food and sex cause release of pleasure chemical dopamine to ensure we would seek out those things as a priority....well drugs trump food...they artificially release TONS of dopamine so imagine a craving for food is nothing compared to a craving for drugs....(interesting side note...not all people get addicted....there are reasons)....it is deep within our most basic primitive part of our brain to seek out that which gives us dopamine....it is a hard craving to resist.....but knowledge is power and knowing your craving for what it is...may help you resist it. ...also with the drug use you need more and more to get the same feeling over time so again knowing you will likely never get to feel as good as when you first started drugs may help you resist....and knowing that one day when your levels are normal you will get a natural high from normal wonderful life...maybe that will help too
max
I know a lot about addiction but no one can know what your recovery will look like so you wont find a video of your recovery until I guess you make one...I too like scientific information and the personal stories frequently scare me because some people seem to struggle with issues for years....and not even experts can say what will happen to YOU. You can read all sorts of different things...and knowledge is power .....but if we knew all the hows and whys of addiction and recovery then we would not be in a national crises of addiction.
I did like the TED talks on listened to on npr online about addiction. They are pretty good.
Now what most people seem to understand is that drugs flood your brain with the pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine ....the same thing released when you laugh or have sex or eat a good meal but the drug sends a tidal wave of it to your brain...and the brain gets flooded so much that it down regulates the receptors for dopamine...so that means it takes a lot of dopamine to feel good and the little everyday stuff in life that made you smile....well that drop in the bucket is just not enough for you to even feel it....but when you stop flooding your brain the brain recovers and starts making new receptors again...and slowly in time those things you loved will send shivers of pleasure down your spine again
there are a lot of pathways and downregulation is just one but ...well I typed this whole thing out so I will post it I guess...i hope it helped you fall asleep if nothing else....lol
I know a lot about addiction but no one can know what your recovery will look like so you wont find a video of your recovery until I guess you make one...I too like scientific information and the personal stories frequently scare me because some people seem to struggle with issues for years....and not even experts can say what will happen to YOU. You can read all sorts of different things...and knowledge is power .....but if we knew all the hows and whys of addiction and recovery then we would not be in a national crises of addiction.
I did like the TED talks on listened to on npr online about addiction. They are pretty good.
Now what most people seem to understand is that drugs flood your brain with the pleasure neurotransmitter dopamine ....the same thing released when you laugh or have sex or eat a good meal but the drug sends a tidal wave of it to your brain...and the brain gets flooded so much that it down regulates the receptors for dopamine...so that means it takes a lot of dopamine to feel good and the little everyday stuff in life that made you smile....well that drop in the bucket is just not enough for you to even feel it....but when you stop flooding your brain the brain recovers and starts making new receptors again...and slowly in time those things you loved will send shivers of pleasure down your spine again
there are a lot of pathways and downregulation is just one but ...well I typed this whole thing out so I will post it I guess...i hope it helped you fall asleep if nothing else....lol
Dude, the three bars are on the upper Right. Gosh I'm such a dingbat. This is what happens when you use drugs for 40 years lol. Hope you find your way.
Max, at the top left hand corner of the mobile site there are 3 bars. Press for a drop down menu. Select "full site". You are there when it says "go to mobile med help".
Max, I don't use a cell phone much, so I can't help you out with that part. I'm pretty much a lap top gal~ But MANY others use their cells and can guide you with those questions.
As far as more info on addiction, one of the best sites I found was HBO ******* slash addiction~ They have 6 tabs at the top. All 6 of those tabs open into MANY good articles to read. Also on each page on the r.h. side are short videos that are good, too! You can click on, Understanding Addiction, Stigmas of Addiction, Aftercare, etc. There is a wealth of info there to keep you reading and listening for awhile! Did you listen to ALL of McCauley's hour long video? It gets really good at the end, imo.
Keep on hangin.....you're healing every minute you aren't using☺
As far as more info on addiction, one of the best sites I found was HBO ******* slash addiction~ They have 6 tabs at the top. All 6 of those tabs open into MANY good articles to read. Also on each page on the r.h. side are short videos that are good, too! You can click on, Understanding Addiction, Stigmas of Addiction, Aftercare, etc. There is a wealth of info there to keep you reading and listening for awhile! Did you listen to ALL of McCauley's hour long video? It gets really good at the end, imo.
Keep on hangin.....you're healing every minute you aren't using☺
Well bad night of sleep, tossed and turned all night. That lead to the frustration which lead to irrability witch lead to cravings. Haha it's funny how it all works it's almost Everytime in that order to. Anyways Im scooting along, but could use some information on the addiction. I understand there's alot of people to help on here so whenever YALL can please let me know. I comment on a few others post but I can't tell when they respond. How do you " add someone's em" and look at a relieved message? I am on the Mobil app so i being told its diffrent from the actual site, so info is needed. Yall have a god day!!
I've watched a few videos now like that and they're all a bit diffrent. My cousin struggles on and off heroin, and we found him with a needle in his arm today, he's supposedly been sober a year. Now knowing I'm on a weaker form of heroin is extremely scary. He's been battling this addiction on and off for 7 or 8 years he was in prison for 2 years, gets out does good for a few months then bam he relasped and this cycle has happened to him more than a few times. All this addiction knowledge has been dropped on me and it's so much to comphrhend but I'm so intregged!! Starting to make myself a bit sad cause of the fact I'm having to deal with this now. AnywAys that's my damn nuerotransmitters messing with me right? Knowing why I'm feeling this way is extremely comforting, having actuall study proven hypothesis and facts are better than personal experiences to me for some reason. I guess the " everyone's different" statement is why I feel that way, hearing your story is always going to be diffrent from mine. My addict mind is trying to find something to swap its addiction with, instead of hydrocodien im wanting cigarette's so much more now, like every half hour I'm wanting one. I thought about kicking cigs as well but I think it'd be to much for me to cope with at the moment. Figure in already going through hell mine as well kick this too, but im an addict to those as well. Anyways videos? Thank you all!!!
"Pleasure unwoven is extremely informative but lacks so many things like what to do to help and so forth. I like how explains the "tell an addict he can have his drug or be shot in the head" the dopamine and gata something part was very helpful but at the same time scary he said it can even be " permanent"? That's scary what other videos similar to his are out there ( clean_in_ks & vic)? I wish it went over time length with the chemicals in the brain, like how long it takes to get this much back etc etc. anyways really enjoyed that YouTube only had like 7, 5 minute clips so I got about 30 mins of it. Today that craving is killing me, wish it was a choice cause then I could kick its ***. Haha
P.S. There's a lot of background noise and the sound quality isn't the greatest...but the content of the video sure is☺
Hi Max.....welcome to our forum and to recovery!!!
It's great that you want to learn more about and addiction and how it affects our brain! I couldn't wait to learn all I could about it and in my first year, I read and watched everything I could get my hands on!
The video that Vickie is referring to is called "Pleasure Unwoven" by Dr. Kevin McCauley (also a recovering addict). They only have the "abridged" version of it available on youtube now (I think), but you can order it or just watch short clips. The video of his that I LOVE...hahaha! is a VERY long one....but SO WORTH the watch....it's an hour and 12 minutes long (course you can pause it..lol) Dr. McCauley was a Flight Surgeon for the Blue Angels and found himself addicted; got caught; sent to Leavenworth Federal Prison and spent EVERY waking hour learning about addiction so he could help others when he got out. He is a HILARIOUS guy....makes what he teaches funny and yet VERY interesting if you're the type that wants to learn. It's definitely a way to pass some time in early recovery and helps you understand yourself and your addiction much better. I'll just leave you the link for the long one and let you find the abridged version of "Pleasure Unwoven" thru youtube, ok? If you want even more to read and watch, let me know. Here's the long one that I think's so great:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2emgrRoT2c&feature=youtu.be
It's great that you want to learn more about and addiction and how it affects our brain! I couldn't wait to learn all I could about it and in my first year, I read and watched everything I could get my hands on!
The video that Vickie is referring to is called "Pleasure Unwoven" by Dr. Kevin McCauley (also a recovering addict). They only have the "abridged" version of it available on youtube now (I think), but you can order it or just watch short clips. The video of his that I LOVE...hahaha! is a VERY long one....but SO WORTH the watch....it's an hour and 12 minutes long (course you can pause it..lol) Dr. McCauley was a Flight Surgeon for the Blue Angels and found himself addicted; got caught; sent to Leavenworth Federal Prison and spent EVERY waking hour learning about addiction so he could help others when he got out. He is a HILARIOUS guy....makes what he teaches funny and yet VERY interesting if you're the type that wants to learn. It's definitely a way to pass some time in early recovery and helps you understand yourself and your addiction much better. I'll just leave you the link for the long one and let you find the abridged version of "Pleasure Unwoven" thru youtube, ok? If you want even more to read and watch, let me know. Here's the long one that I think's so great:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2emgrRoT2c&feature=youtu.be
The 2 that you were on are the same & semi synthetic.
The Methadone is a synthetic one. It has no real opium residue in it at all. Man made in the Lab.
They break down like Heroin would be the most opium related then to the Morphine. Codeine and so on then broken down more to the Hydos, Vikes, Norco they are all related and there are more, they are semi synthetic and then down to the Methadone, Subs & Trams. There are tons more in each group. I did see this scale at one time but do not know where it is now.
Hang Tight YOU are going to get to feeling even better in TIME!
Bless
The Methadone is a synthetic one. It has no real opium residue in it at all. Man made in the Lab.
They break down like Heroin would be the most opium related then to the Morphine. Codeine and so on then broken down more to the Hydos, Vikes, Norco they are all related and there are more, they are semi synthetic and then down to the Methadone, Subs & Trams. There are tons more in each group. I did see this scale at one time but do not know where it is now.
Hang Tight YOU are going to get to feeling even better in TIME!
Bless
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