Real Test

[Tom86]

I cant believe what happened to me today.  A coworker had his first day back today after having his wisdom teeth out.  I went into the break room.  I was alone and he had his lunch bag of personal belongings just sitting on the break table.  It was half opened and he had his percocet bottle sitting right there.  I dont even want to tell you where my mind went. I actually thought about just grabbing a few.  After all my clean time I just about did it.  I cant believe how quickly the urge hit me. He does not know my history.  I went right to him and told him to put them away.  how can someone be this careless.  Im so glad I didnt do it now.  Since then Ive been going back and forth thinking constantly about it.  Im actually very upset that it happened.  

[msdelight]

Listen, just put it out of your mind and move on. Resolve not to let this be the first step toward relapse. You already worked through what may have happened at work. No think about what would have happened if you took 1,2 or 10 percs. Nothing.  A quick high and goodbye, it wears off and you're back to square one.  Not worth it. Revel in your strength,sobriety and good sense in this matter, and then let it go and move on. Guard up!

[Tom86]

Thanks for all the support guys. Let me just say this. I never got upset directly with my coworker.  Yes inside I was upset with him. No he did not offer me any but he left a bottle of a class 2 narcotic pills out in the open where ANYONE could have gotten them. I think everyone on this site can agree that doing such is very irresponsible.  If something would have happened to them and it was reported it would have caused a lot of issues from drug testing to police reports. Not to mention that my HR department would most likely make me a prime suspect (they know my abuse history as well as my supervisors.). It would have caused a mess. It's just not something a responsible person does. Having said that all I told him blucrystal and tramadollover1233 was that he might not want to leave something like that out in the open and to put them away. Sorry I had to get that off my chest. Thanks again everyone.

[lynn2ck]

Great job!   Don't be upset it happened - be proud of your actions!

[Ready2befree]

Its because subs are WORSE than the other pills themselves!..When i was in rehab there were so many ppl there for addiction/dependence of Subs.  They're no joke..the reason you don't crave the Roxys/Percs/Vics/Norcs/Oxys is because those Subs are fooling your brain at the same time chemically convincing you that you don't need them but at the same time delivering practically the same as the others..so tell me are you really clean? I say HELL NO! If anyone is on subs/methdone/zubsolv or anything like that..you're clean day does not start until you're off that crap!thats all it is.  It's a start but subs are ONLY meant for short term usage.  I'm so pissed that my doctor told me i could have the white picket fence and dog wife 2 kids and normal life while being on subs for ever..what the everlasting *** was i thinking believing the conartists! so mad at the industry for screwing with ppls minds making us believe in our medical professionals while meanwhile taking us to the cleaners!

[infidelitybumm]

you are strong

[NJgirl79]

Hi,

Do you mind me asking if your your on some form of addiction treatment program such as Methadone or Suboxone?  I am currently taking Suboxone for some time now and while being on it I dont even get the urge to use. Its been put right in front of my face and didnt phase me in the least.
Im sorry you had those emotions flooding back to you. Its definitely hard to deal with.

[dominosarah]

Hi Blue~  Nice to see you!

[tramadollover1234]

I totally agree Crystal

[BluCrystal]

This was NOT his fault.  He did not offer you any of his medication, right?  He had no reason to think that his coworkers would be upset by his merely having a prescription at work with him.  I think you owe him an apology.

[dominosarah]

You did good by coming here and talking about it.  Try to refocus your thinking.  Look at all the good things that have come about with you being clean.  Reach out to those who support you.

[Cricketk92]

Hey Tom...Hurray for you doing the right thing!  I actually had a similar thing happen to me this week.  One of my coworkers who I had bummed pills off of in the past came in my office with a bottle of Norco and said he didnt need them anymore and wanted to know if I wanted them...  Oh my....it was so hard to say no!!  And I thought about it for hours afterwards....  We just never know when the tests will pop up....we have to be ready every minute for them I guess!!! After a few hours of wallowing in it I called my sponsor cause I knew all I had to do was go back and tell him I changed my mind and wanted them!!  It really is good to have a support system in place for these very reasons!  Anyway...Hurray for you!!!  Just keep on pushing forward!!!  :)

[helplessangel]

Although I haven't used pills in a while, just the subs, now that I'm 25 days clean from them, even your story makes me salivate! Saying no shows your tremendous strength! It's like they are talking to you...singing to you like a long lost love. I'm proud you said no! It would have been easy not to. Keep the strength!

[Sonrissa]

Hi Tom,  I am so very glad that you were able to resist.  This is why they say around here to keep your guard up.  You never know when a temptation or opportunity to use will suddenly appear and smack you right in the forehead. What is amazing to me is that even after days, weeks, months, and even years of clean time, it still feels like yesterday.  

Good for you!  Take care, all the best.

[kikarose]

All the matters is you did the right thing. It's always going to be me the back of your mind and it wants you back. But you have to say no and say it loud. I'm only on day 3 and the craving is still strong learning how to live again and making good choices. Keep pushing foward.

[IBKleen]

The disease of addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful. Even with the time I have I have been caught in situations like yours and I become homicidal. Some days I am able to catch it right away and some days I wallow in it for hours. I am grateful to have a solid support group where I can pick up the phone and call someone to talk with. Without that I would surely fail.

I am glad to see you came here and talked about it. Hang in there and try to get occupied doing something that will distract you. If you belong to the fellowships of NA or AA, hit a meeting. Whatever you do just don't use.