it's great you are posting for support.....just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! it does get better.....both mentally and physically.....i'm at day 54 clean and it feels great....i still have anxiety sometimes....but that's life....and i'm still very early in recovery.....but i'm not looking back.....and you shouldn't either! just try to keep busy and know that it does get better! we are here for you...
i have been going to the methadone clinic for over 5 years, wow that's a long time, not to mention that was after years of drug abuse of anything i could get my hands on. i was up to 120mg. a day and then last year I decided i wanted to get off if, when i added up how much i spent 105.00 a week to go and the clinic is an hour away. i finally smarted up and gave up smoking weed on a daily basis so that i could get take homes but still, i wanted off completely. It has been a very long road i was going down 5mg. every 4-5 weeks and doing pretty well, i was also taking a lot of vitamin supplements and drinking lots of water. when i got down to 35 mg. i had a huge drawback only a couple days of mild withdrawels but my back starting really hurting along with my groin and buttocks (I thought it was injured while riding a dirt bike i bought this year, this happened in august and i haven't decreased since then because the past 5 months have been hell chiropractors, tests, my surgery to get rid of an ovarian cyst went all to hell when they had to call in a surgeon to get rid of scar tissue and adhesions, ended up being a long surgery and had to stay in the hospital. now i have more issues with other stomach problems. so i am scared to decrease just yet.. While I was decreasing i also would have some good days too, when I could get a ;peek at the old me. because let's face it we change under the influence, the chemicals control our moods and it felt good on the days when i felt good because my endorphins were coming back to me. i started dreaming again it is wonderful. you can do it and your attitude is going to be your best friend. this site has been very helpful for me. I don't know how much your on or how often decreasing but i believe personally a slow taper is the way to go. So worth the journey. my thoughts are with you........
Thank you both for the encouragement. I know I will have to take this day by day. Probably minute to minute.
I can handle it if I just look at today. Can't think too far in future. Kinda freaks me out a little (Lot).
But I know w Gods help (I Will Get Better)!!
Prayers for all of you guys!!
That's all u can do is take it moment by moment. Just focus on today this hour. Get through that and keep moving forward.
And yes prayers, lots of them seem to work. I always try to remember God has a plan and only gives us tests we can handle. For us our cross to bear is addiction