So, here I am again, with some new developments

[ScarrieAnne]

12 days clean off Subs, my other posts tell the story, So Ive been hearing a lot of advice about aftercare. I haven't ever been a meeting person, but Ive also never really been clean, either, I was just on an online na meeting. Everyone was super positive, but I found they didn't really talk about anything important pertaining to addiction. It was like "Hey such and such , its cold here, brb Im going to smoke. It was just a bunch of kids hanging out in my opinion, I may give it another try. The big news is I researched NA meetings in my area and the first one I can go to is Friday at noon, That is the one for newcomers. Its a little daunting, but ill make it, or Ill just leave haha. does anyone have any opinions about NA, or a private practice? I went to NA with an ex boyfriend back in the day and all anyone talked about was how they did drugs, when they did drugs, and how much they love drugs. That would be disastrous to me at this point in my recovery. Just want some opinions friends, I am trying to decide what is right for me. Thank you for all of your support. I cannot express how much this site has lifted me up and saved me, without it I may not be on subs, but id be on something! You all are ANGELS. XOXOXOXO

[lulu747]

Hey Jifmoc!
Great analogy.
It's like people who think they can lose weight using fad diets, or pills, etc.  They may lose the weight initially, but it will ALWAYS come back, and usually more than ever before.
The only way to lose weight and keep it off is by healthy eating and exercise.  The only way to stay clean is by using aftercare on a daily basis.

There are NO short cuts in life.  As addicts we are always looking for instant gratification like that we sought in our DOC.  But that's not the way real life, or real sobriety works.  You must work at it, EVERY DAY.
There is no secret.  It's just hard work.

I know that I never could have gotten through this medical crisis, and having to take opiates pre and post surgery unless I was heavily committed to my recovery.  If I hadn't changed everything about the way I thought or felt about life when i got clean, I would have ended up in EXACTLY the same place now as I was then.  Except it would be worse because addiction is a degenerative disease.

Carrie Anne, I'm sure you will commit to this and find something that works.  As for being embarrassed at meetings, that goes away.  Do you have any idea how many people are addicts in recovery?  More than you know.  I was super scared because I am a VERY public figure in my city.  I cannot go anywhere without being recognized and am in the media ALL the time.  But- my recovery became more important to me than my image.  And once I let that ego sh*t go, I found myself in very good company.  I get more respect in my community by standing up and being honest about who I am than ever before.  I also get to inspire other people, especially the youth that I work with.  It is empowering to speak your truth.  It doesn't just help you, but everyone that you come into contact with.
xo
Lu

[weaver71]

I say try every meeting of every kind in your area, shop around. CBT counseling is my favorite, group therapy is okay too. Just try it all for now, you have to go see what inspires you to grow and be who you want to be. It's worth the effort for sure, even the recovery aftercare I didn't like taught me something. Look for opportunity, avoid any obstacles. You are going to love recovery life.

[jifmoc]

I second IBKLEEN and Motye. I relapsed over and over and over UNTIL I finally walked into AA (Could have been NA, AA is just more convenient for me- it's the same.) The folks in there that have significant clean time are..sane. And content. I want that. So I did my 90 in 90 and kept going. No way I'd be clean w/o it.

Listen to the folks that have lots of clean time and are content, sane, happy. You want what they want, right? If you needed to lose 50 lbs you wouldn't do what an obese person does. That's how I look at it. Follow those who have what I want.

[Amandag78]

Hey Carrie, Congratulations on 12 days, fantastic !!!
I dont personally do N/A, so cant give advice, but i like the other comments....
Do what you can, to make things work for you.
You find out pretty quickly what that is : )

Good luck girl xx

[motye51]

This is just my opinion....
once i could leave the house i got my butt to my local N/A mtg and i did the 90/90. I went to listen which i think is really important. Let me explain why....i wasnt sure this was what i needed or wanted. So i went to listen to see if these people were full of ****, happy, productive, truly seeking recovery...and i found a core group of people in my area that are fantastic! I would say it was probably a month or two before i spoke about why i thought n/a was right for me. Its dissapointing to hear that the mtgs u attended talked about doing drugs b/c thats not recovery. We get new people all the time, we had 6 last night, that all believe they know what the prob is and they just need more self will! I will bank we wont see any of these 6 again unless they get in trouble with the law. U have to go with an open mind and search people with recovery. Ive learned that being clean and recovery are 2 totally different things. I would suggest n/a to anyone, but i wont force it either. Good luck in your decision.

[IBKleen]

I started NA back in 1987 when I got clean for the first time. I also did one on one and group therapy for three years. The combination of the two kept me clean. I dove into the fellowship and did Hospital & Institution work for years trying to deliver a message to the addicts still suffering. It wa rewarding and hard. Watching people go in and out is tough but that also kept me clean. I relapsed, not on my doc, and never let the fellowship get too far away. When I was ready to get clean this last time (I hope) I went to the fellowship for help. I am still involved today and it is my life line. I know I would eventually use again without it. All I can say is give it  a try. Go to several different meetings and find the one that works for you.

[ScarrieAnne]

I am nervous about it too! I do NOT speak in public especially in front of a bunch of strangers. Ideally a small group therapy session would work for me, mu husbands insurance covers mental health, so I may be able to find something like that, I went to a counselor yrs ago but it was one on one and did not help. I will keep you updated on my progress and give you any tips I may find, and maybe you can help me too. Its too bad we don't live near each other, we could brave a meeting together! Stay Strong and Beautifu!!!! XOXO

[ScarrieAnne]

LOL, good advice LuLu, will look up SMART momentarily.

[dedicatedtostop]

Hey, I have been thinking about you! I am actually in the same dilemma with aftercare. I personally live in a very
" classy " politically correct suburban community if you will and I have never been to a meeting. I am a bit nervous about it. I have done some research an I am exploring options. I would personally rather do private counseling myself which my insurance actually covers. I just don't really know what to expect with these meetings. Right now I am leaning on my Old Pastor and prayer warriors from my hometown. Please keep me posted on how meetings go for you. Right now, I still haven't really been out in the public since I first started detox but I think I may be ready by the first of the week.
Keep up the great work!! Xoxo

[lulu747]

If you do seek counseling- go for a counselor who specializes in addiction.  BUT- really the best thing is group work.  Look up SMART and see if there are any meetings in your area.  And no matter how small the centre is, AA meetings are everywhere, and there tends to be more of them.

Think about it as shopping for shoes.  You gotta try a lot on and walk around in them before you find the perfect fit (:

This is coming from Lu- shoe-a-holic and proud owner of 93 pairs of shoes and boots!!!

[ScarrieAnne]

Im going to give it a try, if it isn't for me I will find something else, The problem I have is there aren't many options here, The meetings are limited, and because I know this area they are probably there for court. My next step will be a private counselor, I think that will work best for me. Thanks for your advice! <3 XOXO

[lulu747]

Hey Carrie Anne!  I just left you a note but I will respond here.  Many of the members here swear by NA/AA.  However, in smaller centres there can be an issue with NA meetings.  For instance, if many addicts are there because they are being court ordered and not because they REALLY want to be clean.  My advice would be to try as many different meetings as you can before making any decisions.  Many of our members do AA meetings because there are more of them, and less people romancing using.  It makes no difference if you are not an alcoholic- an addict is an addict and the work is the same.
For me, I did SMART recovery and one on one therapy.  I chose SMART because it is about empowerment first and foremost, and it made a lot of sense to me.  Also, they have women only meetings on a regular basis in my city, and I felt at home there immediately.
Go investigating.  Your recovery should be your numero uno priority, so try as many different meetings as you can until you find your perfect fit.
Proud of you!!!
Lu