After a major back surgery last year (less than half of what I needed done was done) I took a lot of pain pills, Seems like every doc I saw offered them and so, why not? Get the scrip filled for that rainy day. Well...long story short, it POURED and my back issues became unbearable last summer, I did the pain dr/PT/MRI route and the dx is that I need more back surgery for several completely smashed disks. So, more pain pills. I am part time caregiving to my mother who is going to be entering Hospice any time now, have 5 kids, 13 grandkids am the go-to for all babysitting and on call 24/7 for mother. Hubby travels 75% of the time and I HAVE to be able to care for our home and yard alone.
I have an apt with the back surgeon next week. Pain most days w/o anything is about a 8- 9 on a 1-10 scale. Drs have allowed me so many pain pills and without thinking, I guess I got addicted to them. Got a call today from the pain management dr who said I came up as a red flag in his system ( had filled a couple of scrips at different pharmacies than the one I generally use. Not to be sneaky--because in the case of the pain management dr, the pharmacy is literally ACROSS THE HALL from the office. Why drive 15 miles to fill a scrip when the hospital pharmacy is right there?? I was totally unaware you could only use ONE dr and ONE pharmacy!!! I feel like scum. I am seeing my GP this week for a liver panel to see if all the acetaminophen has hurt my liver (oh joy) and to "come clean" to my GP. (Oddly enough, whenever I see my GP, she always made sure I had a supply of Norco!) Pain Dr. is aware that I DO need something on a daily basis for pain, and said they'd could consider Oxycontin (which terrifies me) or a Fentanyl patch (shudder). On my worst pain day I would take a 7.5/325 4-5 times a day could keep me comfortable. The problem is that I didn't get them all from ONE dr, (and once from my dentist). AND I didn't fill at the same pharmacy. I feel so horrible today. I talked to both my husband and my daughter, as I feel I need to let them know what I'm going through. I feel like trash....worse than trash. The pain dr said he could call the police and the only reason he didn't was because I didn't really 'fit the profile' and he knew my pain it totally legit. He said I had options to explore, and he was kind, but I really, really felt so stupid. I never took the stuff to get high, I took it to stop the pain so I could be superwoman. It's going to be a rotten few weeks here....and I am equal parts depressed and embarrassed. Not much else to say---I guess I can spend half my day in bed with ice/heat ion my back rather than upset the powers that be and take something besides Ibuprofen for pain......(yeah, I am feeling sorry for myself and embarrassed and stupid)