Spouse is abusing hydrocodone. Any advice?

[CasualObserver]

I am new to this forum and found this site while looking for support.  My husband is getting prescriptions of 60-90 #10 hydrocodone a month.  His typical pattern is to take large amounts (6-8 pills at a time) during a 7-10 day period.  He will then wait until he gets his prescription refilled.  He is experiencing constipation, hemmorhoids, diarrhea, drinks water excessively, and his moods fluctuate wildly.  I recognize I cannot make him stop, but I'm trying to figure out how to take care of myself and the kids during this.  I can't stand the deception and the lies.  He fills his lortab prescription at a different pharmacy and hides the bottle or removes the label off the bottle entirely.  He has started vomiting 2-3 times a week as well.  I would appreciate any and all help anyone could provide.  Thanks.

[wantitdone]

The arrest you mentioned with the two small children is what is driving me to stop this. Im terrified that this would of happened to me... On day 7 today...the thought of that is the most sobering mantra I have for today.....I will make it today, thank you for sharing you story, so sorry for your entire family....My soberity & my children are number 1..
Thanks again!!!! I so needed a mantra today ~

[scooter21]

I feel for you and I am in your shoes , my wife is heavily addicted to fioricet we have 2 middle school age children that have witnessed  some terrible things and i know they block it out, it came to a climax 2 weeks ago when she was arrested for oui drugs and possesion of class, d she would put her pills in a baggie,she got all hers from on-line pharmacy's which are nothing but drug dealers no script needed they will even deliver c.o.d.,but anyway i went to court at her arragnment and sectioned 35 her to a detox facility a court doctor talks to me then her then the judge,it is usually for 30 days, i am 1.5 weeks in and scared about the future. I wish you luck and there are alot of good people here to help,and remember, yourself and the kids must be paramount!

[livngr8ful]

Ya, right.  Point made.  Problem with #5 is when we truly believe our BS. WOW, how does one come to that?  when you lie to yourself and believe it.

[dominosarah]

Well said......

I do want to comment about #5....Mine was ALWAYS BS.

[livngr8ful]

To everyone.....  This is a battle.  Its bigger than any war we could have on earth.  You dont go to battle with out weapons or knowledge. You need to know the secrets.  So here is some of my past secrets.  We all have very similar ones.

1. We will use you against you.  Just to take the focus off of us.  We dont care how bad it hurts you.
2.  It is usually ten times worse than outsiders think.  I can promise, he uses more than you are told, he get them from places he wont tell you.  He vomits because he takes too much, not because he is just sick.
3.One of my favorites is we can always hurt you worse.  We know what to say to drive the nail in deep.  We have no remorse. He will in time.
4. Hide hide hide... We hide things especially when we know we are wrong. Dont worry about the bottles worry about the free pills rolling around the house, cars or what ever.  IF you drive and the pills are there you go down not him.
5.We have an excuse for everything.  Its mostly BS.
6. We think we will always win. Ever notice you may fight about this and he somehow acts like it never happened.  Hes putting up smoke so you forget.
7.We will lie about everything. Just because. No real reason other than it puts focus else where.
8.We are master magicians we live in an illusion.  And we make our audience believe this illusion.  READ BETWEEN THE LINES.  Its there just find it.  We wont give it to you.
9. We know you take at least some blame.  OH OH now it's you fault.
10.We feed off of this drama.  Its a mission to win.  We think at some point we will with no effect.
11.This is not occasional.  Its all day everyday.  If hes not using hes thinking about it.
12. The biggest on for me was: We know you love us, and we love you.  But at the moment we love the high more.  Dont think otherwise.

The point is addicts cannot be trusted no matter how many times we say we can be. Nothing can be taken as fact.  An alternate reason always exist.  You cant call the BS, just to much of it. Get the facts and the tools, combined with knowledge you will prevail. Im telling you, this guy needs to speak with someone who has been there. I can promise I may not get him clean but I will make him think.  And thats a starting point. Addiction stories make a difference. Then he will no he really has no secrets, and he is not special.  He's just a man with a problem.  A problem that needs to be fixed.

[dominosarah]

Lizzie Lou has a said this many a times in her postings to family members dealing with an addict....."support their recovery, not their addiction"