help? how long?

[amery2u]

Hello All.....been reading for 2days...seems like I can find help here!  Came home from work early Sat. W/flu symptoms.....had 15 perc 10's lasted me 3 days and had 5 subox's before that...about a day apiece.  Money running out...been on this whirlwind last coupla months alternating.  I want it 2 be OVER!  Help....still have a few bucks to buy either/or...just had enough!  My kids....12 and 9 (today) need that $ and need their mommy.  How can I do what I did before tho....taking them ice-skating....etc...when I can't eat or get off the couch?  Almost feel like I am hurting them more.  When can I be CLEAN mommy? They have no clue.....I've been an addict on & off for years. Think they like me BETTER jacked up...bcz I do things......aaauuuuughh.....i am well over 40 btw.  Hating myself.......

[Jojo323]

Been clean now for 7 days! Actually went to the gym and have been eating very healthy. I feel normal after a 3 year addiction. Quit cold turkey while I was sick with the flu. I was going thru double trouble. Everyday gets better for me and I'm starting to feel better than being on them. I still have 50 hydro 10s in my drawer. It's a healthy mindset and eating habits that will carry you thru this. Hang in there it will come

[jibi07]

oops.. sorry Over, that was supposed to be to Amery2u lol.. dang PC

[jibi07]

Hi there, I don't have kids, but I know what you mean when you say when your "high" you clean house, good wife etc, i'm all those things too when I take the percs, I have been addicted for a few years now, today is day 1 without for me, i relapsed over the weekend. I have no energy right now, but I know it'll come back, and I will go ice skating with hubby again , walk the dogs clean the house etc........... it'll come, I also cannot believe I got to this point and let things get so out of hand, but it happens and we learn from our mistakes, there are many great people on here with tons of excellent advice, listen to them, they know what they are talking about! Good luck to you, I hope the best for you!

[flonight2]

You'll be her in no time!

[Overwhelmed10]

Thanks for the encouraging words.  I'm planning my detox-"flu" for this week.  I just have to get groceries stocked, laundry caught up and ingredients for Thomas Recipe and I'm good to go.  Im worried because I will have my little girl with me the entire time.  Hang in there amery2u, keep us updated, you are giving me the courage to do it myself!  I am waking up now at 4 in the morning in withdrawals already, and I've not even quit the pills!  I really don't understand whats going on-why suddenly I'm getting severe withdrawals so quickly between doses.  I guess my body just wants more and more of the drug?  Its gotten very bad the last month.  As soon as I wake up I feel like I have to run to the bathroom, I hurt all over and have SEVERE anxiety.  I even took a clonnopin (Im prescribed and dont abuse) and it doesnt help much.  So I had to take a perc so I could get my kid to her dr. appt.  This scares me, how bad it feels coming off!   If I'm already suffering so I may as well get off the damn pills altogether.  I'm sick of them running my life!  I want to be normal again!!!  

Hang in there amery2u.  Know that I am thinking of you and rooting for you.  

[amery2u]

Wow....I cant thank you all enough...this support is incredible.....I think I can do this!  Can't sleep well and much yet....gotta get up w.kiddos @ six......they MISS HAPPY DO STUFF MOMMY bad.......that's what's killing me.  WILL I BE HER AGAIN SOMEDAY. SOON DRUGFREE,,

[flonight2]

Amery2u....and Overwhelmed......I'm right where u are now. My kids are 13 and 11.    I am oder though...50 yrs. old. I stopped on Sunday after 4-5 years (can't really remember it's been sooo long) and guess what??? My 11 year old just got the flu!! ha. So we are just laying around these past two days watching movies. (Little do they know)   I did go out and get Vitamin B6 and One-a-day gummy vitamins. Been taking them in the morning and they give me enough energy to do laundry and make dinner. I take the melatonin at night (just took em)  and they REALLY helped with the sleeping. I tried this before without either and YES...it does make a difference.   And you are not stupid so don't act like it....thats our 'addicted mind' telling us to just take one so we can be "Super Mommy"  and the kids like us better that way! HA!......DON'T DO IT!!!   Even though I physically feel like crap...I don't think I've been happier mentally. I know I'm doing it this time. I actually flushed all pills!! And in the back of my head....I'm planning my new life.  SOOO keep it up...stay away from ALL temptation!! Don't pick up that phone....you'll be sooo proud of yourselves.....If I  can do this....you can. For your sake and for those beautiful children. I'll be praying for you both.....and for everyone on here. LOVE YOU ALL!! God bless!

[toothfairie]

and the only way you would be dying a slow death is if you keep taking the pills....THAT is a slow and painful death!  

[toothfairie]

yes if you keep going and not take that 1 pill...it will get better!  you have to think about how good you will feel soon!  take it one hour, one day at a time...it's an old quote...but it does work!  just tell yourself you will get thru the next "hour"...then it will soon be the next day!  i agree with NoLife.....pamper yourself as much as possible!  pretend like you have the flu.....the flu is something you have no control over right?  you just treat the symptoms....just like WDs...treat your symptoms when they come up...we can help you if you let us know what you're feeling at the time....you are stronger than you think....i would have never thought i'd make it to 73 days clean when i was going thru WDs that first week.  Stay strong and believe in yourself!  

[YesLife4Me]

You are doing great!   Pamper yourself during this time as much as you can.   Just be ok with not being ok for a little bit.   And remember when you start thinking about taking just one...1 is never enough and neither is a 1000!  

[amery2u]

Promise?  Feel like I am dying a slow death...will it get better soon?  Ever?

[toothfairie]

just wanted to lend support!  just hang in there!  i promise it does get better!  life after pills is soooo much better that taking them!  no more counting, running out...worrying about getting more to get stuff done....it is so worth it to go thru a few bad days to finally be rid of them!  just post here for support and know you can do it!  you and your family deserve a healthy and happy you!!  

[amery2u]

Just got the hot bath.......idk if I feel better from it....kinda got the chills......immodium x2 taken..hope 2 feel better.  Two of my people called & I ignored....crying now but got 2 do this 4 real. THANK YOU...

[YesLife4Me]

The Immodium is an absolute must.   It helps with the tummy and bathroom issues, but also helps minimize some of the other wd symptoms because it binds in your intestinal tract like an opiate but does not cross the blood/brain barrier.    I have gone through wd cold turkey and using the vitamins, minerals, epsom salt baths, ensure, dietary suggestions and such really made a HUGE difference.   If you can get up and move around a little bit then take a break several times a day, that helps too.    Go take a HOT bath while your son is away.   It does miracles for you.  

[amery2u]

Thank you for posting~ and yes I have looked it up. Does it really work? My son is having his Bday Party next door at Grandmas because Mommy is SICK....GOD I want this to be gone......I really want OFF.......thank you...just still struggling & feeling like crap..not calling and ordering. Its GOT 2 Stop..PROMISE I WILL FEEL BETTER 2 BE A MOM W/o ?

[YesLife4Me]

For most people days 2 -4 tend to be the worst as far as physically.   Then each day gets a little bit better.  Most report at about day 4 or 5 feeling more human.  One week to 10 days seems to be a turning point.   I know you feel awful right now.   If you can set your mind that what you are doing is a good thing for your mind and body and just be ok with not being ok, it really helps.   Kind of like when you have the flu.  We have no choice in being sick, so we just accept it and ride it out.  Same kind of idea here, although our addict minds wants us to take something to make us feel better.   Your kids want you to be your authentic self.   Not super mommy on pills.   Super mommy eventually burns out.   I know.   I've been there, done that, got that T.   Several of them in fact.    Have you looked up the Thomas Recipe on this page?    There is some good suggestions in there to help minimize and ease your wd symptoms.    

[amery2u]

Do you really think its uphill after day 3?  I almost wish I had cancer....I would have a REASON to suck......Thank you sooooo much.....GOD THIS IS HARD.....pls pray 4 me.

[YesLife4Me]

Hi and Welcome!   I know exactly how you feel.   Take the pills, feel good, but have no money.   Don't get more, but be sick or get more and run out again.  It is insanity at its best.    Addiction brings us to our knees into a primal behavior of obtaining and using just to exist.   You have to decide you are truly done and go through the withdraw and recovery.  You have made it 3 days which is the worst of the physical.  From here on out each day you are healing.   You deserve to be the mommy you were meant to be without drugs.    Hang around here for support and advice.  

[amery2u]

Thank you so much for your quick reply!  My prob is.....I'm not scripted any of the above.   I just buy from FRIENDS & FAMILY....lol.  I can't decide whether to keep up the addiction to do as you say....be a GOOD MOMMY.  Haven't done much of ANYTHING in 3 days....its scary. Best to you as well....Thank You!

[Overwhelmed10]

Hello-
I also have been reading on this site off and on for weeks now! I'm 41 year old mommy to a 3 year old. I've been addicted to percocet for almost 2 years now. I'm sick of it and disgusted with myself, and cannot believe I've gotten to this point. I just wanted to tell you I know exactly how you feel! If I take my pills I can do what I need to be a "good" mommy and wife, I can run my errands and clean the house, play with my child, etc. But lately I'm getting withdrawals in between my doses to the point I'm going to run out of my prescription way ahead of time. I just wanted to let you know there's someone else going through the sane thing you are at the exact sane time. It helps me at least, to not feel alone. This site looks like a great place for support. Best of luck to you.