Starting to detox on my own

[Gigi024]

Hey everyone. This is my first post on the forum and I must say the support I have seen on here for others is amazing! So I thought I would post here in hope to get some advice and encouragement along the way.

Here is my story. I have been taking 25mcg Fentanyl patches for a year and half. I struggled with back pain and thought these were a miracle drug but over time they stopped working the full 3 days that each patch is supposed to so I'm now taking the patches and by day 2 or 3 I'm taking Lorecet 10's to try and get through the day until its time for a new patch. This is a vicious cycle that's consuming my life. I never feel normal anymore and have lost 30 pounds in the process. It's scary to see myself in photos and realize the damage that has been done. I have decided to detox all on my own as I cant afford inpatient treatment and the clinics where I live will only treat you for pain pill addiction and not the patch. I've been through this once before as I have tried to detox on my own and it is a complete nightmare.  Absolute worst thing I have ever been through in my life. Only 2 people in my family know of this and that is my parents. My husband has no clue and would be so angry with me if he did. I will admit I am addicted to this and I want to stop. I want my life back and not have to depend on medication to feel "normal". If anyone has ever went through this please help! I need all the advice I can get. Tomorrow will start day 1 and I'm dreading the next week or so, so bad. It is torture. But I will do what I have to do to get through this nightmare.

[genelle2020]

Hi Gigi024, I am in the same boat as you , starting a tapering off methadone which I have been on for 7 years. Just one thing I wanted to point out from your post is that, even though I know how really difficult this is for you , you will feel so much better if you talk to your husband about it, you may be surprised at his response. It's enough pressure and stress going through withdrawal, but trying to hide this from your husband is only going to make it worse. My husband does not take pills of any kind, he has no use for them and has seen me go through so much with taking pills. But I have been honest with him, I remember the first time I had to tell him that I was addicted, and he received it very well. I just don't think you need the added pressure of trying to hide this from him, you can't go wrong by telling the truth, ever. I hope you are able to do this, it will be one less stressor off you and you will feel so much better. Good luck, I wish you the best......

[Gigi024]

I've went through all my options and unfortunately this seems to be the only way to go. I'm afraid of the seriousness of the situation and what it may do to me. But since I have been through this before I know what to expect. The physical part is very difficult but the emotional part is worse. I hate feeling like I'm crawling out of my skin and just completely depressed and full of anxiety. The first week is the absolute hardest. I feel that this forum will help me deal with the emotional aspect this time around. I really appreciate all the help and encouragement. I will post an update soon. I've decided to just go ahead and remove the patch today and get through this starting now. I have so much respect for anyone who has ever gave up narcotics knowing what a nightmare it is to go through.

[IwillDoThis]

well hon I guess you don't have much of a choice here but to detox at home, I would do as much research as you can on line, maybe even call the pharmacy and ask them if they can give you any information or what signs to watch for to tell you to go to ER.  

The way the current health system fuctions absolutely stinks for those who find themselves without insurance due to job  less etc.   Are you positive there are no sliding scale emergency detox facilities in your area?  You've check?  

I'm hoping one of the nurses on here will be by to give you some practical advice on fentanyl withdrawal but a cursory glance by google search would indicate you are in a serious medical situation here.

Since you've gone through it before I'll just remind you to get your immodium now before you get sick to manage the poos, drink lots of gatorade and take LOTS of hot showers - I would just put a towel down and lay in the tub while the water washed over me (baths were too intense for me during withdrawal).  

As I said above I did a quick google search and I don't want to scare you but you are in a really serious situation.  I would in some way document that your doctor is on notice of your insurance situation and is refusing you treatment that would keep you out of a serious medical situation.  NO ethical doctor regardless of a bill with his office or not should force you into this situation - they take an oath "do no harm".  I can't believe he won't help you.

I don't care what his staff says I would demand to speak with the doctor personally and beg him to help you wean down.  Offer to make small payments toward the bill.

Please  keep us posted on how you are doing.

[minn66]

Hi gigi, just wanted to welcome you and offer my support. I don't know about the patches either but I know there are members who have experience with this so hopefully they will chime in soon.

Good luck and thinking of you,

Minn

[Gigi024]

Heidi - thank you for your encouragement.  I truly appreciate it.

[Gigi024]

My husband was laid off from his job and that is why we lost our insurance. My doctors office has a very rude staff and they said I could no longer see him because I do have a bill with them aside from not having insurance now.  I think my bill is somewhere around $300. I agree that it seems very unethical that they can just dump a patient without helping them in anyway knowing how dangerous it is to just stop this medication. But even with paying my bill I and them taking me on as a patient with no insurance, there is no way I can afford the office visit and cost of medication. I'm startin to feel really hopeless.

[hiwpew523]

I have no advice for you but wanted to pop on and say I'm pulling for you as well. You will gain much support here.
Best of luck to you. YOU CAN DO IT.
Heidi

[IwillDoThis]

I have no insurance but I always paid cash to go to my doctor and then I just paid cash for my prescriptions.  I think you REALLY should call your doctor, I can't believe he wouldn't see you with no insurance and just let you pay, also many times they will give you a cash price for the office visit.  I think it is unethical for him to stop treating you simply because you don't have insurance???????

If I were you I would call the office and say  "I no longer have insurance and I need the doctors help in safely transitioning from the Fentanyl patch that I can no longer afford as I don't want to end up in the hospital from severe with drawal"  - make sure you log the date, time and name of person you either left message with or nurse that you spoke to.  

I'm not sure exactly what your situation is did your doctor dismiss you or you just can't afford to go with no insurance?  Is doctor aware you have no insurance and refusing to help you get off this med safely?  I don't see how he can ethically not help you if you are willing to pay for the office visit.

As I said I have no experience or knowledge about Fentanyl but you might be in a very dangerous situation here so you need to take a deep breath, make sure you have communicated with the office of your desire to safely get off this med with doctors help, that you have no ability to go into a facility and you hope he will assist you now that you've found yourself without coverage.

Is this an option for you to make this call?

[Gigi024]

Thank you so much for your reply. I wish I had the help of my doctor but i no longer have insurance which is one of the reasons in having to stop. But my main reason is wanting my life back. I really don't know what to do at this point. I called around to clinics in my area and they won't accept me because they do not deal with patch detox and told me I really need to do inpatient treatment. But the cost is $8000. Something I can't afford. I feel stuck at this point and am afraid of what this is going to put my body through. I've heard that fentanyl is stronger than morphine. It's just you receive the dosage at a slow rate through the patch. It's stored in your fat cells which is why it's so hard to detox and takes much longer. I really have no idea what to do at this point. But it is something im going to have to figure out and do on my own. I just pray for strength.

[IwillDoThis]

Hey Gigi and welcome.  Does the prescribing doctor know what your plans are?  I ask because you can still detox at home without needing a facility but you need to make sure you do it in a safe way and its sooo important to come clean to your doctor and have his/her support if you can.

I don't have personal experience with Fentanyl so I don't know the safety of coming off that - hopefully other members will be along soon to give you some idea.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  My pain is much better managed now off opiates than it was on them, hydros were actually causing me pain and flu like symptoms for a while.  I just got sick of being sick and in bed all the time.  I'm 74 days hydro free and I feel better than I have in years.

It isn't without pain, withdrawal, mental challenges but every single day I live pill free is a great day even on the dark ones.  Hang in there, get a plan together (I HIGHLY encourage you seek help of your doc here) and you can do it to!

Post often and we'll support you!  Glad you are here!